A few sample hate mail responses from the past

-----Original Message-----

From: tear

im so disgusted with people using the word retarded there are more appropriate words to use like mentally challenged physically challenged and so on i will never and i mean never order from your site i have family that is challenged and you just pist me off you should be asamed of yourself

Editor's Note: Go retard yourself, you retarded fucking retard. Go buy a can of retard jelly and use it to lube up your retarded asshole. Now tell all your retarded family members to join in the new retarded game: "A Bunch of Goddamn Retards Fist a Retarded Douche in His Retarded Asshole With Their Retarded Fists."

You may not be sure if that pack of retards will like this retarded game, but trust me, they will. Because retards have no standards and enjoy practically everything. You know... because their brains are all retarded.

And you may think you've upset me, but I'm perfectly fine with you never ordering anything from our site. We don't accept Play-Doh or chewed-up coasters as payment anyway.

By the way, your average, run-of-the-mill stupid person is "mentally challenged" in that being smart is a challenge for him/her. There is a distinction between the retarded and the stupid, which is why we call retards retarded. They are called retarded because retardation has occurred and their cellular structure has been, by the technical definition of the word, retarded.

Yeah, retards have been dealt a shitty hand (and they have shitty hands), but calling someone what they are is neither immoral nor indecent. I mean, would you think me insensitive if I said Asian people are terrible drivers because of their narrow eyes? Or if I said black females get pregnant if they even think about penis? Damn it! Now I have to get another abortion.

-----Original Message-----

From: Dominic W.

Just want to let you know I think most of your shirts are hilarious and very creative. I've ordered several of them, and I get a kick out of the attention and the comments they attract. But I do have a concern about something......

Now I'm no bible thumper......in fact, I haven't been to church in quite some time. But I notice several of your shirts mock Jesus. And I'd like to ask you WHY? I don't care what you believe or don't believe. Make fun of Buddha or Mohammed or somebody else. That's all I have to say......I won't preach to you.

Editor's Note: Since you were so polite about it, fine, I'll make fun of Buddha and Mohammed.

Boy, that Buddha sure is gay. If he sucked any more cock I'd have to call him Jesus. And how about that Mohammed? I'm not one to judge, but I think it's deplorable that he covered his cock with poop, raped some girl named Mary, punched her in the stomach, and then left her to raise some bastard named Jesus on her own.

Incidentally, why is it that the phrase "Now I'm no Bible thumper..." always precedes something infinitely idiotic? It seems to be the catchphrase for religious people who don't want to admit to themselves that they're just as ignorant as the other ones. "Don't worry, I'm one of the cool ones." No you're fucking not.

It's beginning to have a Pavlovian effect on me. When I read "I'm no Bible thumper" my brain buckles up for the crash with retarded. It's similar to the way I orgasm every time I see a burning hobo.

-----Original Message-----

From: Maximo G.

Enjoy selling the Mexicant shirt while you still can. Latinos are quickly becoming the majority in this country and soon white people will be the punchline they've tried to turn us into. I hope you enjoyed your time at the top of the pile. Its over now.

Vete a la chingada, gringo.

Editor's Note: I'm sensing a tone here. A fiery Latin tone. This seems awfully arrogant for an email which basically says nothing more than "My race is good at humping." Ooh, you can squirt cum in a fat stretched-out pussy; aren't you fucking special?

Wait... You do reproduce like regular humans, right? Or do you just rub chorizo on your skin and a bunch of little Hispanics pop out like in Gremlins? Or does the male of your species squat over a plate of tamales and fertilize them with his seed?

Anyway, all this speculation about who will be the minority in the coming years is beside the point. Because at the end of the day, it's all about who has the money. And if by some inexplicable accident a Latino gets his hands on the money, he'll just use that money to turn himself white. Sayonara, Carlos.