01/03/03

Happy January, t-shirt eaters! It's that time of year again. That's right,
time to take your hands off your dicks, and your fingers out of your
vaginas and time to buy the most offensive t-shirts in the world.
We've added a couple of REALLY nice ones that you can wear in public
on those days that you're looking to have your ass kicked and your head
driven into the ground 30-40 times more than normal.

Assassinate the President...
http://www.tshirthell.com/hell.htm

What About All The Good Things Hitler Did?
http://www.tshirthell.com/insensitive.htm

Before you send your death threats (like we don't get enough already),
realize that our good friend, Jeremy Jacobs has officially approved of the
above, insensitive shirt. So, we can "officially" say that the shirt is "Jew
Approved". My other Jewish associates are currently "not" in agreement
and have actually gathered in a large group outside my house. They keep
chanting "T-Shirt Hell...come out and playeyay". I don't understand why
they think I have time to play when all I do is work my ass off all day
reading and answering positive fan mail like the ones below:

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----- Original Message -----
From: thomas brown
Sent: Monday, November 24, 2002 9:42 AM
Subject: (blank)

>your company must a bunch of asshole racist giving the rest of african
>comunity a bad name you should close up shop

----- Original Message -----
From: "Rob Douglas" <jrd6@******.edu>
Sent: Friday, December 21, 2002 4:57 PM
Subject: Banner Contest Submission

> your tshirts are not offensive or funny, their just fucking stupid. I'm
> sure you have the angry nerd market cornered. Conogratulations on
>being in that gay magazine by the way, your company will cease to exist
>within six months to a year. I hope you all starve.

----- Original Message -----
From: Alissa485@****.com
Sent: Friday, December 06, 2002 4:02 AM
Subject: amazed

>I am appauled by these disgusting shirts you sell for children.
>Some Trashy individuals might like to wear your ghetto shirts.
>but babies don't have a choice. I really hope irresponsible
>parents don't waste the little money they probably have to
>purchase these repulsive shirts you make for babies. Personally,
>if I ever saw a young child wearing one, I might be forced to call
>HRS on these unfit parents. Your 'Hell' is starving for attention
>and thats about it.

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ATTENTION, ATTENTION!!!!!
This will be the last week you can purchase items from our Underwear Hell
section:

http://www.tshirthell.com/underwearhell.htm

So get your dirty undies while supplies last!!!!
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After you purchase 19 new t-shirts, go to the best site for Prank Phone
calls ever. If you haven't been to FreakFarm.com, then you don't know
what you are missing:

http://www.freakfarm.com/pranks.shtml

Oh yeah..by the way, FreakFarm was our first website, before we
introduced T-Shirt Hell. So I guess you can say, we've ALWAYS
been hated by millions.

Until next time...we hope your bowel movements are smooth and that your
herpes are in remission