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newsfromhell

It don't mean a thing if you ain't got that swing


HULK RUN FAST. HULK SMASH!


I hope everyone had a good Leap Day. I myself had a terrific one. I hung up stockings, I hid brightly colored eggs, I lit fireworks, and I ran rusty fishhooks through a drifter's flesh for about thirty minutes.

Speaking of the calendar, remember to set your clocks forward on March 9. You'll be losing an hour of your life, but you weren't going to do anything with that hour anyway. Besides, you can always get it back by dropping some acid and stepping into that wormhole. Onto the news…

Congress recently asked the Justice Department to investigate Roger Clemens, who is suspected of lying under oath. Call me naive, but I believed Clemens. Except for that part where he said "Congress is wasting this country's time and money on a bunch of fucking nonsense." They totally busted him on that.

Last week Microsoft was fined $1.3 billion for antitrust violations. Bill Gates immediately paid the fine.  Then he rubbed out a load onto a stack of $100 bills and said "Here's your goddamn tip."

The U.S. dollar is down, gas prices are soaring, and real estate is in the proverbial shitter.  Thankfully, Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke has cut interest rates again. That hasn't really worked over the past few years, but hey, the 142nd time is the charm.

Anyway, I just can't wrap my head around the conundrum which perpetually faces the United States. It seems like every time we have the greatest president ever, our economy is in shambles. It's almost like the two are connected. You'd think Bush would give some economists a truckload of gold bars to figure this out.

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Easter is right around the corner and we've got the perfect new shirts for the occasion. They don't mention Easter, but they are exactly the kind of thing Jesus died for.

Whether you want to save a beautiful creature by destroying a different but equally beautiful creature; or you want to communicate your disappointment with the quality of poon in the room, we've got the shirt for you or someone like you. We've also added a new baby shirt. Because, believe it or not, there are still some people having babies. I know, fucking crazy, right?  Plus, shirts that celebrate the gaming culture, ponies, and the sad inevitability that everything will go horribly wrong.

All of our new shirts are here:

http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/nsn/newshirt_030308_news.htm


long division

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andySince the number of presidential candidates has been winnowed down to a mere handful over the past few weeks, I have been in desperate need of seeing a huge collection of douchebags in one place. So, I decided to watch the Academy Awards last week. There I was, watching the Oscars on my picture-in-picture screen. And as I watched these bloated egos and self-aggrandizing jerkoffs pat themselves on their collective back, I couldn't help but compare it to what I was viewing on my main screen: hardcore pornography.

It was in that moment that I had the following realization: mainstream art is just porn for your emotions. When you think about it, lust is an emotion just like any other. The only difference is that instead of coming out in the form of laughter or tears, it comes out in the form of cloudy goo.  And if you’re really lucky, it still comes out on or in the face of a loved one: so really, it’s virtually identical to the rest of them.

Art is just a way for us to feed whatever emotions we are feeling at the moment. When you're angry, you may listen to a metal album to get it out of your system. When you're sad, you'll check out a tearjerker to have a good cry. If you need a good laugh, you watch the Zapruder film. The same goes if you need a gaygood scare, a thrill, and so on. Art is just there to serve our emotional needs, and porn is no different.

In its own way, porn is the purest form of art. Largely because its merit isn't up for debate. Did you get your nut? "Yes." Well then the porn worked. Whereas when someone laughs at a lame sitcom or cries during an episode of Grey's Anatomy; we'll judge them and tell them they're wrong- however honest their reaction may have been. None of that with porn. If you came, it was a triumph. No thumbs up/thumbs down, no star grading system:  just proof-positive that the work accomplished its goal… right there in that wad of tissues.

I don't want to seem like I'm giving porn too much undue praise here. At the end of the day, I know it's incredibly easy to produce; the people who produce it are attention-starved assholes; and ultimately, what they provide me with I can provide for myself if I really care to. But you know what? The same exact thing can be said of so called real "artists."

andySo, don't think of this as a tip of the hat to the porn industry. Think of this as my way of saying that creative types aren't all that important either. Ron Jeremy will never be held in the same regard as Marlon Brando, nor should he be. But you know who else shouldn't be held in the same regard as Marlon Brando? Marlon Brando. To anyone who has the ability to think and create for themselves (which is everyone, if they'd only take five seconds to realize it), porn stars and "legitimate" actors are equally useless.

Art - just like love and all other abstract concepts - is nice to have in your life, maybe even necessary.  But when you get right down to it, it is cheap to come by and you can always get it from a different source.

So, to all the artists out there - be you musicians, film makers or anything else - get the fuck over yourselves. You're already obsolete; you just don't know it yet. Fortunately for you, not many other people do either. Until then...Hooray for (a world without) Hollywood.

Comments (21) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Slayer  03/04/08 8:28 pm
Very well said!

me  03/05/08 12:10 am
i think this is the most intelligent rant i've ever read. even more unbelievable is the fact that you wrote it XD

RevJim  03/05/08 12:36 am
*quote*But you know who else shouldn't be held in the same regard as Marlon Brando? Marlon Brando.*/quote* Thank you, thank you! So, when can we see the movie you're making, XD? If you're not making it, whatever it may be, you should. Whatever it's about, it's gotta be good, coming from your sick, twisted mind. I'd even pay half price at the theatre to go and get blown during it!

jihad  03/05/08 5:59 am
"So, to all the artists out there - be you musicians, film makers or anything else - get the fuck over yourselves." Hello pot? This is kettle... your black. How about taking some of your own advice retard!

josh  03/05/08 12:21 pm
This site is fucking amazing.

Laura  03/05/08 3:06 pm
Beautifully put. Hollywood is the most self-serving, self-appreciating, overpaid industries in the world. And one night a year we all gather around our TVs to watch them suck their own dicks. Nauseating.

cheribom  03/05/08 3:39 pm
When I was an art student, the lecturers would constantly spout shite about how artists are the most important people in the world... my reaction being, "you've got to be fucking kidding me."

Adam  03/05/08 4:32 pm
This is the best comment I've ever seen on this site, nice work (not that you need my approval).

John Cook  03/05/08 9:26 pm
Does anyone have a cure for reoccuring jock itch, and stubborn sores that just won't scab-over

Karl Siewert  03/06/08 10:15 am
I love reading the "Thing" twice a month, and there have been a few times that it's made me think as well as spew coffee across my monitor. This is the first time I've been moved to comment, however. I love what you have to say here. Thank you very much.

And to add to "cheribom"s comment: I agree that statements like "Artists are the most important people in the world." tend to overinflate the egos of those who consider themselves artists, but I agree to the extent that I believe all people should create on some level in their lives, and that it's profoundly important.

Long Live the Thing!

Bonicus  03/07/08 4:54 am
Pretty good rant, I most enjoy how you glance over, at the end, that anyone can do art, but most people don't, cause it...you know... might be kind of hard...and yes, i'm a tattooist, and no i'm not going to get over myself or my paycheck. I believe Dire Straits called it money for nothing and chicks for free. WE WIN!!! WE WIN!!! YAH ARTISTS!!!We WIN!!! ;)

Gavin  03/07/08 10:09 am
After all the years... the best rant I've seen on this site yet... I could dribble a shit stain on a canvas and call it art... unfortunately many people do... And even worse, some of them get publicly recognised

pspinrad  03/07/08 1:47 pm
Thank you for saying this! Art is entertainment. The same goes for literature.

Satan  03/08/08 11:45 am
Celebrities and artists are useful in the sense that they open themselves up to intense ridicule. Without fucked-up celebrities and over-zealous artists, popular culture would suck, but it's also true that a world without porn would suck.

Iman Azol  03/09/08 5:12 pm
I'm misunderstood. Does that make me an artist? Like, when I bend in half and suck myself until I choke on my own load?

Jen  03/11/08 8:45 am
I wish I could roll up the 'thing' and shove it up my cooch and fuck it I love it so much.

vandal  03/14/08 11:04 am
hey jen, you could, and then you could film it, and be an artist!

CJ  03/15/08 2:34 am
we make amateur porn...can we advertise your site on ours??? I LOVE your shirts....I pass out your site at my 'non' porn job (the respectable, upstanding one....). Let me know....

the purple glistner  03/16/08 11:44 pm
Hear, Hear. For more diatribe on the uselessness of artists and ego, let me direct you to an album from 'This Is Serious Mum (TISM) - Great Trucking Songs Of The Renaissance'. Upon it, you shall find a song entitled "The Mystery Of The Artist Explained". The following track "If You're Creative, Get Stuffed" further illuminates our deep desire for placing egos on a pedestal...mind you, these tunes are by artists, something that some may find a quandry.

duelpersonality  03/20/08 12:43 am
A lovely, nihilistic take on art, porn and the creation thereof. Just what I needed

erthwjim  03/25/08 1:53 pm
Yes Hollywood is full of shit, especially that self-grandizing Tom Cruise and his bullshit 3 ring circus called Scientology. But there is a point, anyone can do art, it's just how people interpret it as to whether it's considered art or not. And people are full of shit.


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-----Original Message-----

From: Justin L.

Sent: Thursday, February 28, 2008

Hi I am a formal high school student and your customer. I have purchased many cloths from tshirthell.com and i was wondering if the state government or other people have right to force me to take off my t-shirt that has inappropriate symbols, such as, nudity, gang, and violent picture, just because they are offended by these symbols.

I was wondering what are the limits to the first amendment in clothing. Could you please help me define the limit of first amendment in clothing? Thank you very much.

Justin L.

andyEditor's Note: Excellent question, Justin. Nutjobs on the left and right are so busy hiding behind the first amendment to spout their bullshit that we sometimes forget there are exceptions. You may not use your speech to incite a riot or any other criminal behavior. For example, you cannot shout "Fire!" in a crowded theater. Unless the theater is screening an Adam Sandler movie. In that case, being trampled by a rioting mob is considered slightly less objectionable to watching the film.

And it goes without saying that you can't threaten the President's life. Unless you're the President's wife and you hold a frying pan and use an exaggerated Italian accent while you do it. "Ay, you no clean-a the office all day! I'm-a gonna kill you!" Yeah, that's exactly how that'd sound.

The thing that most defenders of the first amendment don't seem to understand is that it isn't a question of whether or not the government has a right to deprive you of a basic freedom. It's whether or not they WILL. That is why America is so great.

Of course the government can silence us whenever they want. They have a fucking army at their disposal, for God's sake. But fortunately, we are free to say anything we want because at the end of the day, our words are meaningless. If your funny little blog or your cute little protest had the power to change a damn thing, the Secret Service could make you disappear in seventeen seconds. But you mean nothing, so they let you go on pretending you're a threat. "Oh no! The Daily Kos has revealed there was no link between 9-11 and Iraq. I'm shaking now. You wanna pass the potatoes, Laura?"

So, to you and anyone else who questions free speech in this country, don't confuse your RIGHT to do something with your ABILITY to do something. Now buy every single shirt we produce. And "don't" use them to pass coded messages to Communist spies.

Comments (10) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Slayer  03/04/08 8:29 pm
Fuck Adam Sandler! Unfunny fucking kike bastard!

Buzzworkz  03/05/08 5:56 am
I live near Va Beach and, I shit you not, they actually have city sanctioned "morality police" who walk around and chastise people deemed to be wearing too offensive, revealing clothes or using foul language. Unbelievable!

Joe  03/05/08 9:29 am
Poor Justin. It seems that maybe he didn't spend enough time IN high school because he can't formulate a basic sentence and seems to have real difficulty with spelling. And with all due respect to T.H., what moron writes to the clothing company they bought a shirt from to ask about 1st Amendment rights/laws??? Does this idiot call up the supermarket to get the answers to his animal rights questions because they sell milk and eggs? Tell you what Justin. the next time you have a question to ask, just look down at your funny tshirt and piss yourself and enjoy the warmth. You're obviously a fucking idiot - you might as well look the part!

Jenna Bush's Cunt Hair  03/05/08 12:44 pm
Buzzworkz..you mean that fucking Pat Robertson is in charge more than we think there? Shit!

Billco  03/05/08 12:45 pm
That's real nice and all, but in the interest of all involved I think you should eat a dick. On camera. With midgets. On fire. In Times Square. During a hailstorm.

basksinshadows  03/06/08 3:56 am
Justin,
The wearing of so called "offensive"is protected by Supreme Court ruling. Any cop gives you shit about any shirt you wear, look at him/her and say "Cohen vs. State of California". In 1969, a hippy was busted for wearing a handmade shirt that said " Fuck the Draft." Or you can just allow the ignorant police to violate your civil rights and sue the crap out of them. :) (note:the Cohen case applied to a state court house, don't try this if you are a student or minor;then you have no rights)

Poochie  03/06/08 5:01 pm
EXCELLENT answer!

Sir Malek  03/07/08 6:36 pm
Damn that really made fucking sense ( or convinced me ) if I had that question but anyways you got my vote lol

x1a4  03/07/08 7:57 pm
Thanks for the tip, basksinshadows, indeed what and excellent answer!

Buzzworks: Can you get more information on the so-called "Morality Police"? They will need to be abolished immediately. GET ON IT.

Iman Azol  03/09/08 6:09 pm
How about a movie with Adam Sandler taking anal from Pat Robertson?


joy division

-----Original Submission-----

From: Patricia J.

Sent: Friday, February 29, 2008

Subject: receipt message

Hi, my name is Patricia. I just found a receipt from your store catalog...i suspect because it is a mail order thing. i don't apreciate the heading on this. "Here's your blanking receipt." I don't think i want that receipt put in anything else thats ordered by my daughter. This is just...its an invasion of what i talk around my house. we don't talk this kind of stuff. please contact me about this matter.

gay

Editor's Note: My sincerest apologies, Patricia. Clearly the English language is highly important to you. Just try to be more forgiving of those of us who didn't attend Harvard and double major in Word-Makin' and Speakin' Gooder.

I'd hate to think our simple little receipt filled your house with any kind of negative energy right before you sat down to your dinner of Cheetos, Twinkies and Mr. Pibb (or the store-brand equivalent of those products.)

Apologies aside, I think your daughter is the one you need to be talking to. You probably have around twelve, so just pick one and speak to her. Tell her to do her online shopping from more reputable companies in the future. Tell her it is not a corporation's responsibility to babysit the mistake made by a drunken truck driver and a 35-year-old stripper who wants to feel sexy again.

But, most importantly, tell her you only want what's best for her, and that's why you're doing this. And then, you know, blow your brains out.

Comments (14) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Brian  03/04/08 7:48 pm
Here's your "blanking" receipt? TSH must have cleaned up their act since I last ordered, because my receipt said "fucking" on it. Also, way to include the "..." dramatic pause in your email. You do know that typing a response allows you to think about what you want to say, right? You don't have to envision what a face-to-face conversation would be like before you respond. Most importantly, though, if you think the receipt is offensive, wait till you see your little girl's prom picture depicting her wearing the product in question.

Slayer  03/04/08 8:37 pm
I like "blanking". My wife and I were "blanking" the other night and she said, "Blank me harder!"

How fucking idiotic. I'm sorry, Patricia, that you didn't teach your child to pick up after themselves. You're probably one of those parents that never tells their children "no". Why? "Because I don't want to be the bad guy?" You're the kind of parent that I abhor. Do yourself a favor, Patricia. Beat the shit out of your kids so they'll learn to obey you. After all, that's what kids want, don't they, are rules? Stupid bitch!

Amy  03/05/08 7:56 am
Patricia is going to be really pissed when her daughter is walking aroung the house with 'FUCKING CLASSY' written on her shirt.

Deadmanjerking  03/05/08 8:27 am
It's your fault Patricia's little princess is now a whore. Maybe you need to add a new shirt to your site. I'm thinking "My mom's a cucking funt", that way Patricia's not offended when her one daughter with a sense of humor wears the damn thing around the house!

GoofyBastrd  03/05/08 12:31 pm
I like Patricia, all she is trying to do is play the match game.
Prostitute Patricia is so stupid (how stupid is she), shes so stupid she took the receipt and stuck in her blank.

Billco  03/05/08 12:52 pm
Let's make an "I wish I were [strikeout]FUCKING[/strikeout] adopted" shirt just for Patricia's daughter.

Or maybe an "I bought this FUCKING shirt on the FUCKING internets to spite my FUCKING hypocrite of a mother".

D  03/05/08 11:49 pm
thanks t-shirt hell reply guy. you make the begining, middle and end of my month all the more awesome. with your witty remarks and hurtful cmoebakcs i can sleep soudnly knowing some idiot was put in his/her place. I shall forever support you in your quest to rip a new one in anyone who opposes you. till next time.

chuck  03/06/08 9:00 pm
holy shit that reply was the most fucking gooder i have ever dun heard. I dont know anything about you other than yur a gurl and probably the smartest person alive. your wit is a mighty kung fu . holy shit

Danny  03/07/08 12:08 am
Can't you just see "Fucking Classy" stretched over Patricia's daughter's pregnant belly.

samantha  03/07/08 12:32 am
man..this has got to be the funniest com plaint i've read yet!

Shaniqua  03/07/08 6:00 am
Hey Patty, my mama always said "Stupid is, as stupid does". Maybe you should print up your own shirts for you and your daughter, one that says "IS" and one that says "DOES". Dumb bitches like you give bitches like me a bad name!!!

d  03/07/08 12:58 pm
the response.. so perfect...so mothafuckin apropos.... i just wet myself... and not sure which fluid it is just yet.

Drugaddict  03/07/08 3:48 pm
Hey bitch, i think you need to take you're daughter out back and beat her with a rusty pole, and then lock her in you're hick-ass out house for two days, teach that little skank a lesson. Don't get mad at these good guys here for doin' what they do. They makin' bank roll to support themselves n buy the dope n munchies they need to do these shirts. So if u got a problem with it maybe you should just put a plastic bag over you're head and spray a can of RAID into it. Have a wonderful day.

Iman Azol  03/09/08 6:20 pm
If Patricia won't blow her fucking brains out, I volunteer to do it for her, with a jizz bullet from my man cannon.


division of labor

-----Original Message-----

From: Tyson O.

Sent: Friday, February 29, 2008

Dear T-Shirt Hell,

As an avid follower of your .com company, I am usually impressed with the materials that find their way to your page. The shirts have a certain gene Sequa about them and in general terms are rather humorous; having said that, I am inquiring as to the Joke that is the new Idaho Shirt. I have lived in Idaho for the entirety of my natural born life. Idaho lends some of the most beautiful land to this nation along with the cliché yet prominent potato production.

In fact Idaho potato farms provide a large majority of the potatoes for McDonalds, an establishment which I presume your staff frequents. In addition Idaho hosts Micron, which is a leader in semi conductors, essential for the computer that you use to run your company. There are a host of reasons that I could spew in this e-mail that may allow you to see the beauty and importance of Idaho; but I refrain as to not make you feel inferior for living in another state.

I stated earlier I wish to know what the shirt means, due to the fact there is no reason for Idaho to be "fucked". I am eagerly seeking a response and hope to one day join in the joke with the non-Idahoans abroad.

With great respect and humility,

The Idahoan in the dark

andy
Editor's Note: You mean Idaho is a real place? I had heard stories, but I never wanted to believe them. I just assumed we were making a joke about a fictional land that may as well have been called "Retardistan." If I had known Idaho was an actual state...well, we still would've made the shirt, but it would've been honest rather than ironic.

But seriously, if there is anything sadder than patriotism it's statriotism. At least patriotism makes sense in terms of war, the economy and which country is the home of Valerie Bertinelli. Statriotism, on the other hand, is just another example of one of the herd trying to make himself feel like an individual. The only difference between an asshole in New York and an asshole in St. Louis is which baseball team he cheers for. If you're going to have state pride, you might as well be proud of your proximity to a vacuum repair shop.

Having said that, Oklahoma fucking blows.

Comments (43) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Slayer  03/04/08 8:47 pm
My stupid ass sister in law and racist piece of shit brother in law live in Idaho. They're about as ignorant and white trash as they come. I'd buy this shirt just to piss him off because Idaho, white supremist capital of the US deserves nothing because it produces nothing but shit!!!!

FUCK IDAHO!!!!

Joe-Bob  03/04/08 8:49 pm
I like in OK...and i agree with above statement

Ghandi  03/04/08 8:57 pm
Hey, as a Oklahomian I take offense to that last statement...haha just kidding, fuck Oklahoma and all the states that touch it.

Carrie Villela  03/04/08 9:14 pm
You refrained from bagging on his spelling of "Je ne sais pas" (gene Sequa)! Is it the Sabbath or something?!

criztine  03/04/08 10:17 pm
AH HA HA HA! Oh my jeez! Gene Sequa made me fall off my chair, literally, and over exagerate laughing while I pounded the floor with my fist. Then the cherry on the sundae, this douche above me got it wrong AGAIN! Americans slay me or, as they say in french, "je ne sais quoi", as in "I don't know what" you guys think passes as a grasp of the language of european snobbery characterized, not "I don't know NOT"...fags.

Manann  03/04/08 10:41 pm
Criztine.. I"m so with you on the "gene Sequa".. like WHAT THE FUCK.. I find it hilarious he spent the entire email trying to sound intelligent (like who the fuck really uses a semi colon) but is so obviously ignorant. I wish TShirtHell had bashed him for it...

LM.tex  03/05/08 12:02 am
Oh my aching sides, "gene Sequa," what a priceless faux pas (or as we say in English, "Fuckup"). I think you should name a baby Gene Sequa, if you don't abort the little bastard first. At least the writer did not shriek "viola" or worse yet "wah-lah!" when the li'l spud meant "Voila!"

Fuck the pretentious! Twice. But don't fuck with Idaho too much, after all they have a helluva time getting a Miss Black America candidate every year--not to many of the girls want to be Miss I da Ho.

Thanks for the best laugh I have had all day!


Andy  03/05/08 1:33 am
To be fair, I use semicolons all the time. But I'm also an asshole.

rogelio  03/05/08 2:12 am
je ne sais quoi?

Danielle  03/05/08 7:57 am
Indeed, Oklahoma fucking blows. Born and raised. :[

Smashedassholefaceforfuckingfun  03/05/08 8:07 am
Carrie....not to worry. I will bash you for Fucking up the french language as you so miserably tried yourself. Not that french is important, but you look like a stupid twat for incorrectly correcting someone. Go choke on your freedom fries.

XI - Chair Force Extrordinaire  03/05/08 8:36 am
What the fuck? Where's Idaho on this map I have on me? all I can see in the place it's supposed to be has been crossed out and renamed "Boringland" in biro.

If you're from Boringland, stop calling it Idaho, it doesn't exist.

joe  03/05/08 9:41 am
Hey Tyson! Here's a response for you... You're a fucking moron. Well maybe not a moron but you're definitely a dork. Your attempt at sarcasm almost worked but you're not a very good writer and so it really didn't come across as satirical or all that sarcastic - just dumb. And by the way, if you're going to use expressions from other languages and don't know how to write or spell them, maybe you should look them up before you write letters that are posted on public bulletin boards. "gene sequa" can only be intended to have been "je ne sais quoi" (and for those of you who can't speak French, this means "I don't know"). Anyone who thinks "je ne" should or could be spelled "gene" (as in the gene pool needs some chlorine or come on over and help me splice this gene) is a fucking idiot - but... oh wait, you're American and you're from fucking IDAHO. Why am I wasting my time? Just go ram a potatoe up your hoop you fucking low rent, trailer trash, hick.

Infamous J  03/05/08 11:23 am
Well Joe, you almost made a point. I hate to burst that huge bubble of cum that you are riding on, but it's spelled POTATO. There is not an E at the end. Dumbass.

just me  03/05/08 11:49 am
I live in Idaho and loved the shirt. BTW fuck Slayer. I'm not a white "supremist" (whatever the fuck that is) I just hate people who stereotype us as racist. When in fact they themselves in doing so become prejudice.

GoofyBastrd  03/05/08 12:38 pm
I am from Idaho, and I don't appreciate the racist bullshit directed at people of my state. The only reason I whipped that nigger the other day was cuz he was picking the taters fast enough....not cuz of the color of his skin. thank you very much.

Allison  03/05/08 12:48 pm
I'm glad people point out linguistical and spelling errors to prove a point. I think thats pretty intelligent. That being said, I almost feel bad for the little fellow. "Gene Sequa."
I say say we embrace it, people can't script gold like this. I thought this fabulous piece of writing was, how does he put it (oh yes!) in general terms rather humorous.
Come on guys, cut him some slack and simply enjoy the e-mail.
With great respect and humility

Sponge  03/05/08 1:57 pm
Gene Sequa? Who's that then?

The correct spelling for what i'm sure you meant in French is 'Je ne sais quoi' which literally translates as ' I Know Not What' and is usually used by posh gits (like me...kinda) to pronounce when somebody or something has an extra something to them, or their character. Its usually something you can't quite place, you could even call it somebody or something's X-Factor

Richard X  03/05/08 2:53 pm
Fuck me dead! I have trouble reading some the cute spelling people put on their license plates. After too much French in H.S. and college I thought "gene Sequa" was another new color I going to have paint the living room...

Reluctant Okie  03/05/08 3:46 pm
Isn't it sad that we, as Okies have a unified sense of shame? It is truly the taint of America. (Texas is the taint. It's the only place in the world with more narrow-minded dickweeds than Oklahoma.)

Reluctant Okie  03/05/08 3:47 pm
Oops. Meant to say that Texas is the asshole. There's that fine Oklahoma education showing its true colors.

Slayer  03/05/08 6:02 pm
Thanks, just me. You live in Idaho and you love the shirt. Are you wearing it? Apparently, you obviously are a "supremist" because you wouldn't have become so offended and insulted by my remarks. Doesn't it bother you that other than potatoes, your state is known for little else? If you really don't want your state to be stereotyped, then do yourself a favor and leave your lice infested compound for a few days. Maybe some of those wetbacks that work in the fields near your house would be more than happy to give you some of the potatoes they picked so you can shove them up your whining ass!

By the way, yes, I am prejudice, but I'm getting better!!!!!

In closing I would like to state that, Oklahoma is the state that is in close relation to Idaho. With the exception of the Indians, only niggers, white trash and wetbacks would live there....

Fizzy  03/05/08 6:13 pm
Hey, Idaho may be boring but at least it's not Utah.

msatvnut  03/06/08 9:20 am
Utah ???hey at least we have Mormans....and sand..and rocks.and canyons..and salt

Okeydokey  03/06/08 10:48 am
no no no no, you've got it all wrong! Oklahoma SUCKS, and Texas BLOWS. that's what keeps TX from falling into the gulf of Mexico, after all. har har har.

Gene Sequa  03/06/08 11:01 am
Fuck Retardistan!!

Tim  03/06/08 2:54 pm
Oklahoma doesn't blow, it sucks. Which is the only reason Texas isn't drifting into the Gulf.

FuckMyHole  03/06/08 4:53 pm
Im in Idaho...I love havin da blakys shuv poetaetoes in my supreame ass. Did i speel that rite

wickedmeow  03/06/08 6:55 pm
Ok slayer you want to be a prick and go all prejudice who gives a fuck.But I'm from Wa and we have all the wetbacks you dumb fuck!I should know I'm one of them.

Slayer  03/06/08 7:16 pm
More hatred from the Pacific Northwest!!!! I'm loving it. I don't recall making ANY hate filled statements about Washington State. But, since you decided to chime in with your ignorant and self deluded ramblings, how about this one? I know EXACTLY where all the wetbacks are, silly ass! That, in itself, was quite evident. I don't believe that you needed to point out that you ARE one. Your hate filled spew was enough to convince me of that. My question is, do I need to call INS and have them come raid your two story cardboard domicile as well? You know, wickedmeow, you'll get a free meal and be able to partake in that gorgeous scenic bus ride back to that shithole you were born in. Maybe they won't kick your ass or shoot you before you try to come back illegally.

The whole prejudice comment was, in effect, strictly to be taken metaphorically. Obviously, the shock value effect I was going for worked because it seemed to infuriate some of you! Thank you for falling for it. Stupid! :P

Slayer  03/06/08 7:22 pm
Oh, yeah. I almost forgot.........

FUCK IDAHO!!!!!

DEB  03/06/08 7:36 pm
I-DA-Ho... if you da Ho.. well you need to be fucked! Who else is going to buy little Miesha her Dora the Explorer shit? I da ho, you da ho, we all da ho, in certains aspects of life.

Okita  03/06/08 8:27 pm
This whole string gives me a certain...."jenny say cock?"

Michael  03/06/08 11:44 pm
I'm from Idaho and I loved the shirt. I also love potatoes, Micron, beautiful scenery, and black people. I think we have one or two here.

Anne  03/07/08 8:42 am
I'm from Texas and have lived here all my life and I don't get offended by the "Don't Mess with Texas; It's not nice to tease Retards" shirt. Stop being a cry baby. Why can you laugh when fun is made of other people but not when it's made of you? Loser.

LuckyFucky  03/07/08 8:01 pm
Idaho? Is that where they grow corn?

Spudnik  03/07/08 8:36 pm
North Idaho hasn't been the hub of neo-nazi networks since the 80's. Butler is dead, and the compound was sold when they had their asses sued off by Norm Gissel and the Southern Poverty Law Center of Montgomery, AL. "At the time of his death Aryan Nations had 200 members, Butler's World Congress in 2002 drew fewer than 100 people, and when he ran for mayor, he lost by about 2,100 votes to 50." - wikipedia...

I can assure you that racism is alive and kicking in North Idaho, but it is not publicly condoned, except where the importance of protecting freedom of speech takes precedence over whether some asshole is offending someone.

The sad fact is that racism is still passed down from father to son and from churchgoer to churchgoer, soldier to soldier, and cellmate to cellmate.

The great thing about Idaho is that it has the largest contiguous wilderness left in the U.S. thanks to Frank Church. North Idaho has a rich stoner culture, for those who like the slow pace of snowboarding by day and passing out by night.

The population of religious idiots is way off the charts, and that's the best reason NOT to come to Idaho. They are the ones who spread racism, as they are the only ones dumb enough to think they're right.

But it's beautiful here, if you like mountains and pine trees and sunsets and weed. The Aryans are hiding in their caves, and they won't come out until they are ready to be stomped. Just FYI, I guess.


Iman Azol  03/09/08 6:26 pm
I see my friend Gene Sequa has already commented.

Fuck Potatoestan.

Pepe LePew  03/10/08 5:09 pm
OMG, if you don't know how to write french, don't do it. Gene Sequa, sounds like indian. it's Je ne sais quoi. There you go, you clown.

BTW, Idaho, isn't like a white-trash state? who cares what anyone from there thinks. Go back to fucking your own daughter, watching crapy Big-Brother or any other shitty reality-tv shows and eating McCrap burgers!

I DA HO  03/10/08 8:39 pm
ignorant fucks - spend your time on something useful - like education or getting laid... maybe you can put a potato to good use.

lol  03/14/08 11:33 am
the first half of responses were funny as shit, and then they were repeated in the second half because no one bothered to read the first! haha makes me laugh...oh and "Jenny say cock?" made me piss my pants...and i think i may have pooped a little as well.

Why is he so bothered anyway? Doesn't the first half of the shirt say "God Bless America?" Well there you have it, fictional shirt because The Bible is just the best selling fiction book of all time!

M  05/01/08 6:32 pm
it's je ne sais quoi. gene sequa.. sounds like a horrible baby name

sengmengida  09/17/09 2:54 am
Seriously, there's no reason to object to a Fuck Idaho shirt. That's the only attention that place will get this decade. I have always agreed with the editors view on 'statriotism.' I'm in the marines, so I have to deal with TEXANS! Puke!! They ask me where I'm from, usually I say "Well, if you can't tell from the way I talk, then I must not be from Texas, huh?" Fuck Idaho and it's inbred cousin Texas!


does this remind you of your favorite pair of panties?

-----Original Submission-----

From: Glen S.

Sent: Sunday, March 02, 2008

Subject: All the Hillary shirts

I've noticed that all of your new shirts over the past year or so have all been about Hillary. I bet they sell great. Pfffffffffffffft!!!!!!!!! You guys were fun while you were in business. Much success on your next venture; this ones over.


gay
Editor's Note: Taking shots at one of the most despised women in America during an election year? What were we thinking? We better stop making shirts about sex, drugs, and alcohol, too. From now on, we're all about cookies, chimneys and Wilford Brimley. Just let me pass this important info along to my boss.

Oh, wait a minute… I’m actually not retarded.

I’m sorry we sell stuff that people actually want to buy. I'm sure if you had your druthers we'd only make shirts about you, your mom and your job.  What?  You live by yourself in a shitty little apartment with no friends, or job?  And you never met your mom because she traded you for a stick of gum when you were 6 months old? Man, how come I didn’t see that coming?  So, they would just be shirts about you then?  I don’t know what to say.  What do you have to say about all this, Senator Clinton? "[Roaring sounds] Mama wants some snatch!"

Comments (12) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Slayer  03/04/08 9:09 pm
Glen S. is a queer who hates his father because he didn't molest him when he was growing up! Instead it was Glen's uncle who was ramming him in the shower after school.

Where are your bright ideas, Glen? Instead of bitching about what's dead, submit something. Maybe you'll get lucky and win money because God knows you don't get any pussy!!!

Jack the Rimmer  03/04/08 9:25 pm
What the fuck did you just say about Wilford Brimley?

Jay  03/05/08 2:36 am
How do these fucking people even find this site?

Katman  03/05/08 10:15 am
Uhm....gib dem what dey want; not what they need. True business path to PROFIT.

JayPee  03/05/08 11:14 am
I don't care bout Hillary, but I love rim jobs!

KDub  03/05/08 12:15 pm
I think Glen might have meant that TSHirt Hell isn't coming up with any really new or origional content and is instead simply beating a dead horse (Or horse-faced cunt. Do cunts have faces? Oh well.)

I'm all for the bashing of one of the few women who has had the balls (literally) to venture out of the kitchen and into the world of men but I would like to see some other new material as well.

Billco  03/05/08 1:01 pm
That team-hopping snatch should be wearing a "Go Local Majority Party and/or Visible Minority".

Fucking bagwhore couldn't keep Bill from fucking the ugliest intern in all of DC, she thinks she can stop the good ol' boys from buying Halliburton another dozen Ferraris ?

I am a liberal and I endorse this Clinton-bashing!

Jebus  03/05/08 10:38 pm
I want to see that picture of Hillary with that last line printed on a t-shirt. I sharted a little when i saw that

D  03/06/08 12:02 am
I'm actually all for more funny/wrong shirts about some cookies or wilford brimley. just fyi.

kennedyzass  03/06/08 7:26 am
if you go to youtube and look up diabetes remix... plus, i feel like of you super genius t-shirt designers could think of something simply high-larious about making fun of the eldery and diseased.

Lola  03/06/08 3:23 pm
wow. i think teh most brilliant thing you've ever written.

Iman Azol  03/09/08 6:33 pm
How dare you criticize Glen??? He's from DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND, and forgot more about business while writing that letter, than you facist assholes will ever know! If he says bashing Hillary is a poor business model, it's a FACT! Their smart over there.


divided we fall

[The Big Fin...ger Me]

Idle hands are the Devil's plaything. That's why I keep my hands busy strangling priests.

Peace


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