03/12/04

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FRESH SHIRTS FROM WARPED MINDS
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From now on, all of our new shirts are in one place.
http://www.tshirthell.com/newshirt.htm

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$100 FOR YOUR 2 CENTS
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We are looking for t-shirt ideas. Specifically,
we want ideas that make fun of liberals.

Click here to submit them and your chance to win
$100. http://www.tshirthell.com/ideasrequest.htm

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IVAN YOUNGBLOOD SPEAKS
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Every now and then we will have a segment written by
our in house, Head of Lost and Found, with ADD
...Ivan Youngblood. We can not take responsibility
for what he says. We are just happy to let Ivan express
himself, and it's not just because he is right here
holding a gun to my head as I send this newsletter out.

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Look at this star * Now look at this star * You read
that in a second, but for me there was 45 minutes between
each star when I wrote it because I hate typing. We all
hate typing. That's why people make all these little
abbreviations all over the internet to make things shorter.
Like "lmao" "lol" "g2g" "brb" "lmfao" I aint breaking em'
down either, you know what the fuck they mean bitch. But
there are lesser known abbreviations, and that's what this
newsletter is about. So, for the uninformed, prepare to
get next schooled.

ISBUMDA I shoot blanks up my dad's ass
IHHSITM I have heart surgery in the morning
ABBBTBC arrest black babies before they become criminals
LMFAO laughing my fucking ass off
WICOACGBHILLAMICC when I cum on a cancer girl's bald
head, it looks like a melting ice cream cone
F5R I love toast
IPTWTHYHBISW2FY I'll pretend to want to hold your hand
but I secretly want to fuck you
RSAY reality shows are yes
ANBMCAYCBALHB aint nothing between my cock and your
cunt but a little hymen bitch
RIALMUIHTYYFA Rape isn't a laughing matter unless it
happens to you you fucking asshole
LESTIATAWMD Let's eat something that I'm allergic to and
watch me die
CAJAWM cops are just assholes with mustaches
DYLTMS do you listen to Mathew Sweet?
EMIHBO excuse me, I have ball odor

Now, a little more about this Passion of the thing thing. Who
cares if the jews nailed jesus. He was a bad carpenter, so we nailed
his pretty ass to teach him a lesson in the fine art of human carpentry.
But so what, the jews of today weren't involved. They don't even
like hammering. They won't even hammer up a picture of christ. And
you know what, that little faggot bitch ass cock tease christ wouldn't
let people suck his dick back then, so who can blame the eskimos for
putting him up there so they could drink his sperm straw with the
greatest of ease. It's just a little hard S & M, so just leave the pygmies
alone. And if you are still reading this and you are a female in the NYC
area and want to date a 29 year oldwriter of fine literature (one of us)
then write back.

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HATE MAIL MARCHES IN
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----- Original Message -----
From: A***
Sent: Wednesday, March 03, 2004 12:50 PM
Subject: Disgraceful Humans

to whom it may concern,

My name is A***. My husband is one of those "camel fucking troops"
you speak of so disgustingly on your website. I have a sense of humor
until I think of you scum bags calling MY husband a camel fucker. You
people are pig fuckers.

You sir or ma'am are ignorant assholes who've obviously never seen a day
of combat in their life. I dont care who in your family went to war or what
they did because it obviously made no difference in the mind of you cold
hearted SCUM BAG wanna be TERRORISTS. You all mine as well be
terrorists because you're destroying the minds of impressionable youths
whose parents dont care enough to watch what their kids look at and wear!

You will surely burn in hell. This world will be a better place when all
your graves consist of is the shit piles we all leave for real shit bags
like you all.

Sincerely,
A****

(Editor's Note: Note how she ends with sincerely. This is truly one of
the politest hate mails I have ever had the pleasure of receiving. It's
really better than pig fucking terrorists like us deserve. Come here,
Porky. It's time for some lovin'. )

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----- Original Message -----
From: Christi A****
Sent: Monday, March 08, 2004 5:09 PM
Subject: Gay Marriage Shirt

You should not make light of such a serious issue as the rights for gays
to get married. My lover Ruth and I have lived together for over 10 years
and we have a 4 year old son Terry through artificial insemination. It is
assholes like you who make it hard for our struggles to be taken seriously.

(Editor's Note: You think it's hard for you to be taken seriously, just
wait until "Terry" gets to kindergarten and tries to be taken seriously.
Why didn't you just name him "kick my ass and take my milk money"?
I have nothing but love for the lesbian community. I own one of the
largest collections of lesbian films in the country and they are all quite
sticky from repeated viewings. )

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----- Original Message -----
From: keith
Sent: Monday, March 01, 2004 5:43 PM
Subject: you fucking pussies

You guys r fucking pussies and your site is a piece of shit. You
think you r so sool making fun of everything but u r just a bunch
of looser pussy fags.

(Editor's Note: It's true. There are few pussy fags who are looser
than we are. That's how we keep all of our pigs so happy.)

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So long. Peace be with me, and also with me.