It don't mean a thing if you ain't got that swing


OK bitches, it is time for you to prove that your heads are good for something other than accepting the occasional cumshot. We have added the ability for you to leave comments on all our t-shirts. Just click on any one of the individual shirt graphics on the site and you can leave whatever passes for a thought in your sad, little head.

Finally, someone is asking for your opinion- sorry it turned out to be us. It is live and uncensored, just like that show your mom puts on with that Shetland pony.

long division


Another tax deadline has come and gone. I hope you don't mind, but I claimed you all as dependents. I don't think the auditor believes me, so if you could all drop by some time next week and allow me to breast-feed you for a moment or two you'd really be helping me out. Also, lick my pussy. Onto the news.

Plenty happened in music the past couple of weeks. First off, the panties of 30-year-old women all over America were moistened when it was announced that the New Kids on the Block were reuniting. Part of me wants to criticize this as being a pathetic group of grown women wallowing in nostalgia, but I suppose it's no different than me attending reenactments of the Challenger explosion or shoving babies named Jessica into wells.

Mariah Carey recently passed Elvis for the most No. 1 singles and now sits behind only the Beatles. But those numbers are misleading. When you adjust for actual talent, she's somewhere between Kenny G and the Fat Boys. And the Beatles are behind Slayer [holds up metal sign and screams at stranger].

Film legend Charlton Heston recently passed away after a long struggle with Alzheimer's. Heston's last words were, "Get your stinkin' - Mr. Demille, that horse just bit me. - I ate a guy before making 'Soylent Green' so I could understand the character." Get it? It's funny because he had Alzheimer's and he's dead.

It was reported that Pamela Anderson will be getting her own reality show on the E Network. Sounds like great watching. I've grown tired of turning on my TV and seeing young, blonde whores act all vapid and shallow. I like my blonde whores vapid and shallow, but I prefer they look old and haggard. Remember to check that out on E. And remember to wrap your TV in a giant condom.

penis vagina


Our new shirts have arrived, but my period hasn't. Oh well...looks like I'll be making another trip to "Doctor" Hank's Dry Cleaning Emporium.

Anyway, this latest collection includes a shirt for the well-endowed male and a shirt which makes a rational, sensible plea for dirty butt sex. We've also got a shirt just for redheads (or anyone who enjoys seeing Ronald McDonald almost naked) and a shirt that finally reveals the truth about dwarves. I mean, other than the fact that they're hilarious.

All of our new shirts are here:

And check out's new TorsoPants as well:

(warning - if you're not a fan of dry humor, do not go to TorsoPants)

long division


andyAs the U.S. economy continues to struggle, market experts are casually throwing around the word "recession" as if it were a racial slur and they were in my living room (or kitchen, or basement, or front yard). Personally, I don't understand how anyone can even hint at a recession in a country where people are spending millions of dollars on the work of Billy Ray Cyrus' spawn. I'm no economist, but if the situation were really so dire, I think people would forego spending money to have their child's soul raped.

But okay, let's assume we are on the verge of an economic catastrophe. How does this affect me? Thankfully, even as the market remains shaky at best, the value of my gold bars and secret political sex tapes remains steady. Also, I have people I pay to keep an eye on stocks and do my crying/wrist-slashing for me.

For those of you who aren't so fortunate (ha ha, you're poor), we would like to help. Assuming moving to another country or simply not caring aren't viable options for you, here are some tips on how to prepare for the impending financial crisis.

Sell all of your Patrick Allen Professional Bowling Association memorabilia before the inevitable rape charge causes it to plummet in value.

As gas prices continue to soar, the average American is feeling the pinch at the pump. To avoid this, ride a bike to work. With the money you'll save, you can shove $20 bills in your ears to muffle the taunts of "Nice bike, fag" coming from motorists.

Yeah, you need kidneys and a liver to survive. No one ever said you had to sell YOUR organs.andy

Tired of paying your illegal work force an exorbitant $3 an hour? You tell those dirty Frenchmen (a.k.a. Mexicans) they'll take your discarded cantaloupe rinds as payment and be damn glad to get it. Then spit on them. Go ahead, they're your property.

Ladies: Don't just think of that thing you're sitting on as a baby-making, waste disposer. Believe it or not, there are men who will pay you to put their penis in it. After you've exhausted its usefulness, your butt, mouth, hands or unusually deep belly button will do in a pinch.

How about you use those food stamps for food instead of 40s and cigarettes; you system-abusing, child-neglecting, filthy piece of...never mind. Hi mom!

Learn how to prioritize. For example, you actually NEED a new hibachi grill, but does your kid really need that inhaler?

Identity theft is a great source of income. Just make sure you steal the right identity. The last time I stole in ID without doing the proper research I wound up as a French midget with a drinking problem.

Along with gas prices, food prices have also gone way up. One solution would be to grow your own vegetables and buy store-brand items. Or you could just stop eating so much, fatty.

Recycle. In addition to helping the planet, you'll also be able to line your pockets with a cool $1.12 for only a few weeks work. (Note: Homeless people are a great source of aluminum cans.)

andyEver hear of actually doing your job and saving money? Jesus's not the economy's fault you've had three jobs in two months and you spend what little money you have on Old Milwaukee. You piece of human garbage...just look at yourself! FUCK!

I've got a weird feeling. Go to Vegas right now. Put everything you have on 22 black. Didn't work? Sorry about that. Just go give handjobs until you have enough money to get back home.

I don't care what your guidance counselor told you. It's never too late to kill people for money.

While mugging people, don't assume young, black men are broke. The fact of the matter is that they usually carry the most cash. If you (sniff sniff) know what I mean.

Struggling to recover from the ongoing real estate mess? Here's a tip: When holding the shotgun in your mouth, make sure you hold it tilted slightly upward.

Although not as profitable or glamorous as being an actual pusher, there's no shame in being a really good drug mule.

As technology advances, it is becoming more and more difficult to duplicate the look and feel of modern bills. Fortunately, it is incredibly easy to make a passable penny. Just go out and buy massive amounts of copper and get to minting. Now you're on your way to financial freedom!

Comments (9) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Lord of Dickless  04/16/08 3:16 am
This is a total load of bullshit..No one should have to go through all that trouble just to make a buck.

Legalize sister pimping.

Iman Azol  04/16/08 11:18 am
Best economic advice of the year. I'm looking forward to the cheap whores. It's even sexier when you know they're taking it in the ass for babyfood money, and swallowing for the extra protein.

I guess I'll pass on the offer to lick your snatch. 18 year old gaswhore snatch is sweeter.

passport  04/17/08 4:02 pm
"The last time I stole in ID without doing the proper research I wound up as a French midget with a drinking problem."
I feel your pain man, last time I tried that I somehow found myself being an eastern european hooker who ows cash to some shady looking russians

cor  04/17/08 9:23 pm
Dont buy the copper wire, just steal it from rainway crossings! Much cheaper and who dosn't find level crossing a pain in the arse!

Pierre  04/18/08 6:40 am
I actually AM a french midget with a drinking problem, i'd advise against it, it's not big or clever..

Tamz  04/18/08 7:14 am
*has taken notes* Kill, pimp, steal and save. Got it! Thanx 'Common sense about money for dummies'

Pud  04/19/08 10:09 am
I'll lick your snatch (and I used to do it professionally) if I get a free t shirt

Slayer  04/19/08 8:31 pm
Let's be a bunch of stupid motherfuckers and keep paying those fucking wetbacks that $3 dollars an hour instead of finding some white trash that'll do it for nothing. Hell, all they need is a few coins for some Busch Light and generic cigarettes to take back to their trailers in goddamn Idaho!!

Mike  04/22/08 1:33 am
For somebody who claims to be a lesbian you spend a lot of time on the coathanger.
How about giving me a shot at that gaping maw?
I'm pretty sure I can hit the bottom and the sides.
If I can't,nothing lost but my pelvis.


This week I have a special treat for all of you. Anyone who consistently reads our hate mail may wonder if we make this shit up.  I wish.  For example, you may remember a couple months ago we posted this little gem:

-----Original Message-----

From: hufflerrec*** @ 13***.com
Sent: Saturday, January 19, 2008
Subject: dumb fucks

Hey dude, I just want to fucking tell you guys I submitted a t-shirt idea of "I'm bringing nigger back" with Dog the Bounty Hunter and I've got no response no nothing. First of all if i wanted to sell it on my own site fucking tens of hundreds of people would buy that. you're fucking stupid shit. you're dumb fucking assholes for not wanting to buy that.
So realize that you're a dumb fuck. Put me on your fucking newsletter. I have somebody trying to claim against you cause I have sent you plenty of emails. I just think you're fucking stupid assholes and the ideas you're using are dumb as shit. They're gay t-shirts nobody wants to buy. You want some t-shirts people will buy? Then use some of your user's submissions that are actually helpful to your company as opposed to this gay fucking shit you're putting up on your website.
Go fuck yourself, fuck your mother and fuck all of you.

It didn’t take long for the person responsible for this masterpiece to weigh in.

Comment from Mikey Mike: 01/22/08 7:57 pm
Actually. ...I submitted that idea. This is MY email. Still a fan, BUT YOU GUYS NEED TO KNOW, Not only did they add a bunch of things I didn't say, they completely flipped my words. And all I was saying was that shit was funny....what dicks! NOW YOU KNOW NOT TO BELIEVE THE STUPID SHIT IN THEIR HATE MAILS...They are fucking liars, and tell me that shirt wouldnt be funny. Whatever, cuntbags!

Comment from Mikey Mike: 01/22/08 9:20 pm
Debra and Bethany, You're both dumb whores. I said nothing about "a claim" I didn't say half of the shit they said I did. All I said was "you're fucking stupid for not using my idea...fuck you...and your mother" I was just fucking around, but they added a whole assload of stuff I never said..Fucking idiots.

Comment from Mikey Mike: 01/23/08 3:32 pm
I'm not going to bother posting a comment again because NOONE FUCKING LISTENS. All I am saying is THEY MADE UP MOST OF MY EMAIL. I never said shit about "filing a claim" (what purpose would that even serve..that's just ridiculous) I ALSO NEVER SAID A SINGLE THING ABOUT "Selling it myself on my own site" I DONT OWN A FUCKING WEBSITE (nor do I have the means to make t-shirts or even have a clue how to press them, etc..) I don't care who thinks the idea was funny or not. They just distorted what I said and I think it's fucked up. So comments about "what I said"..scratch em, cause I didnt...I fuckin dare them to post my original email. THE REAL'll just show their douchebags..FUCK T-SHIRT HELL IN THE ASS. LYING FUCKS

Comment from Mikey Mike: 01/23/08 4:04 pm
UN-EDITED-ORIGINAL EMAIL- Hey dude, I just want to tell you guys I submitted a shirt idea of Dog the Bounty Hunter saying "I'm bringing nigger back" and think it's shitty I got no response. I haven't seen a funny shirt in a while from you guys. Maybe it's not the best Idea but I think plenty of people would think it's funny. Instead you accept submissions of fucking stupid shit. Either that or ideas you're dumb fucking employees came up with. So realize that you're a dumb fuck. Put me on your fucking newsletter. Some of your shirts... granted are funny, but some of the recent shit is just BAD. My suggestion if you want some t-shirts people will buy? Use some of your user's submissions that are actually helpful to your company as opposed to this gay fucking shit you're putting up on your website. (That was the end of my REAL - so believe what you want - I'm out - Mikey Mike)

Comment from Mikey Mike: 01/24/08 11:40 am
I figured SOME douche would point that out. I meant that was the end of the email itself with my complaint...(The fuck you, your mother blah blah blah shit was my "signage"...with a comma after it LOL, followed by my name..Mikey Mike..."Mikey Mike is a liar" or whoever the fuck that guy was probably works for T-shirt hell HAHAA...I am actually enjoying people finding out the truth about the shit heads at T-shirt Hell. I wonder how long til' they take my posts down.

Editor's Note: Now here’s where it really gets funny.  If it was an email it would just be our word against the lunatic ramblings of this pinhead.  But it wasn’t in fact an email:  it was  a voicemail! 

Transcribing was difficult due to the fact that his words weren't perfectly clear because of the cock in his mouth, but I did my best to capture the essence, if not the exact words, of his douchery.   But here it is so judge for yourself.

There you have it. Say what you will about the shirt idea. I'm sure there are more than a few people who find it hilarious. " says 'nigger'! That shit is hysterical!" I personally think it's fucking lame. It references a news story that was dated even when we first received the idea, and a Justin Timberlake song which jokes about were played out several months before we got the idea. "But says 'nigger'!"

Yeah, I get it. Some people are always going to think something is funny if it contains "cunt" or a racial slur. And I'm sure you'll point to instances in our past and say this is hypocrisy. But things change. And I'm not talking about bullshit like "growing" or "maturing." I'm talking about recognizing when a certain type of comedy has grown tired and evolving. At least in the field of T-shirts, we were at the forefront of all that outrageous shit, but now there's no shortage of sites with brilliant jokes like "I stab queers" or "Go back to Africa." Edgy is no longer edgy when fucking everyone is on the edge. And if simply saying "nigger" is funny, my stepfather is funniest mother fucker ever.

But back to Mikey. As I said, think what you will of the shirt idea, but you have to admit that this guy is King Tool. First he lies by calling us liars; then he lies, not once, but twice, by posting again after he said he wouldn't; then, and this is the topper, he goes so far as to create this "original" email when no such email ever existed because it was A FUCKING PHONE MESSAGE.

So why am I posting this now, as opposed to when it actually happened? The answer to that is simple. I don't care. If I had any desire to clear the air I would've done it the very next day. I'm only doing it now because I find it to be fucking hilarious. Not that I don't hold Mikey in high regard. You have to respect a guy who tries to cover up the fact that he's a dick by lying about an email and whose idea of saying "Fuck you!" to a corporation is to check the comments section of their newsletter every 30-60 seconds.

Maybe he only thinks we fabricated what he said because he can't believe anyone could be that goddamn stupid. Well Mikey, they can, and you are. Mikey, if you're reading this (and I know you are, because it's not like you stopped being a human queef and started getting laid a lot in the past couple months), I look forward to your comments.

Make it something along the lines of "That's not my voice. They totally just recorded that to make me look stupid. And I never wrote those comments, even though you can clearly see them in the newsletter. They're fabricating the whole internet." Just remember to use a different name when you rip on us this time. You don't need further evidence to prove you're a dool (douche/tool, you're the best of both mashed together).

Comments (137) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Mikey Mike  04/15/08 6:38 pm
YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES.....there is NO SUCH THING as VOICELMAIL!!!!!!!!!!! THEY FUCKING SUCK go this far is funny actually...fuck t-shirt hell and their mothers and siters in the ass (which you can hear on my "voicemail" FUCKING DOUCHEBAGS

Mikey Mike  04/15/08 6:41 pm
Might I also add.....the LONGEST reply EVER to any hatemail...they are trying cover their ass for fucking lying..I know others out there KNOW the truth. Fuck these assholes

Mikey Mike  04/15/08 6:47 pm
Might I add one more thing....It came from an EMAIL!!!!!!!! Why would they put a VOICEMAIL as an email and create a FAKE email account (according to them) Yeah try fucking backing that up T-Shirt hell...I fucking cant believe you go this far...but at the same time take it as a would go THIS far so salvage your reputation?? You all know whos telling the truth here!!! I EXPECT THEM TO DELETE ME REPLIES...the REAL mike...that voicemail is ridiculous...where do they even have a number?? assholes...

BOB THE INVINCIBLE  04/15/08 6:54 pm
Mikey displays the kind of blind perseverance to lost causes more frequently found in religious zealots and those suffering from borderline mental retardation. I like him.

Kristina  04/15/08 7:03 pm
Wow, they would seriously go that far? I stand behind Mike. These guys at tshirth hell are jerks

Charles  04/15/08 7:08 pm
While I would usually side with hell and make fun of this guy. I have to agree. Why would they have originally posted it from an email and then claim in was actually a voicemail. That's messed up

Alec  04/15/08 7:36 pm
Just a quick point, there actually IS such a thing as voicemail... Thought I'd throw that little fact out there for you ;]

Marc  04/15/08 7:45 pm
Hmm, well thus far I've thought "I can't believe how stupid people can be" until I read this. A voicemail? Seriously? Where do they even have a phone number? I (as I think other may have) will no longer do business with this company. This is probably why they felt the need to explain themselves. They lost money. I believe Mikey Mike and wish to unsubscribe from this newsletter.

Vampirella  04/15/08 7:46 pm
This officially closed the deal for me. I won't be buying anything from T-Shirt Hell anymore. That's just not cool.

Yusak N. Madik  04/15/08 7:52 pm
1st off - Still a huge tshirthell fan, but, why would they originally say it was an email and actually go far enough to make it "from an email address". Kind of makes you wonder. Even if they are telling the truth, why make up an email for the original hate mail? Very curious, because if they are making this up, it's just not right

kURT t.  04/15/08 7:56 pm
Either way the shirt idea was funny. But if I have to go on Mikey Mike's side. A voicemail? Then they go back on it (like Bush on Iraq) and say it's something else. Fuck Bush and Fuck TShirt LAME

T Shirth Hell Official Staff Member  04/15/08 8:05 pm
See how easy that name was? Does anyone else find it strange that "Mikey Mike" was the first 3 comments? Nice way to try to get more people to get interested in your site. This is lame. They totally make this shit up

Dean  04/15/08 8:06 pm
Just another thing, maybe all the above comments are really Mike. Maybe i am Mike trying to cover up suspicion by making fake counter arguments........cosmic.

Jessica  04/15/08 8:10 pm
Seriously, this guy again? Just make the fucking shit and shut him up. If they are making this up they are pussys though

rubberduckie  04/15/08 8:58 pm
I still think it's fucking hilarious! Mikey Mike a douche in my eyes! Why would you email or call a company and cuss them out because they didn't like your damn t-shirt idea! That's fucking stupid! Let's face it, your t-shirt idea sucked donkey dick, just get over it already!

[email protected]  04/15/08 9:19 pm
I think we all can agree Mikey Mike is a douche, but this does make me wonder. A lot of people have claimed this in the past. I kind of think he's telling the truth. I dunno

Mikey Mike  04/15/08 9:25 pm
Well, I first checked this when I got home from work (yes I actually have a life) now heading for bed (because again I have work to go to) I see many people have been backing me up and some thinking I'm a "douche" either way, I'll admit I'm curious and will continue to check replies but am not "making up" emails. T Shit (yes I said shit on purpose) are clearly the one's doing so. Out - Mikey fucking Mike

April  04/15/08 9:39 pm

Chandra  04/15/08 10:03 pm
Hahaha who cares? All these people getting all sensitive about how fucked up it is that they're messing with Mike need to put on their big kid undies and remember what site they're on. He brought it on himself. Now go take a nap ya big babies.

Billdo  04/15/08 10:27 pm
Jeez people. It's a T-SHIRT SITE. Maybe they're making all this shit up. Maybe they lied about the email and fabricated that recording. So what? With every single player being anonymous here, what is there to get upset over? How has "Mikey Mike" been insulted if HE'S FUCKING ANONYMOUS? I come here and read this shit BECAUSE they offend. You're shocked at such an injustice as being mean to a guy with no name or face? Gimme a break.

Sib  04/15/08 10:35 pm
WHO REALLY CARES? T-Shirt Hell is a company, they are trying to make money. It doesn't matter if Mike exists, the voicemail is real, or if they stole his idea! I'd steal ideas too, especially if people gave them to me for free! So shut up, and buy the shirts you want.

ADMIN  04/15/08 10:38 pm
Yes, please unsubscribe. We don't want any crying pussies such as yourself coming here anyway. Anyone who has a problem with the way "MM" was treated can go fuck themselves with a pineapple.

Androo The Great  04/15/08 11:07 pm
um, in case anyone has never noticed, theres a fancy little button in the top corner of the header that says "CONTACT". if you click such a button, it takes you to a magical page with tshirt hell's contact information. such as email. and that mysterious phone number. which in case you can't figure out this difficult computer stuff, the phone number is (Toll-Free!) 877-498-3099
i like mikey mike, he seems to dig abuse. like a guy with an S&M fetish. otherwise he would have just backed out long ago with his dignity rather than desperately trying to prove them wrong.
as for this email mumbo jumbo, he says it in the voicemail. they can't just say "THIS IS A VOICE MESSAGE!" they just took the email from the message and made that the address. duh?
i hope mikey replies to this. =)

Mofohead  04/15/08 11:08 pm
Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ! What the fuck are you all bitching about? Fuck Mikey Mike and everyone else complaining about whether it's fake, made up, truth, untruth! And what kind of fucking faggot uses the handle "Mikey Mike"? A worthless donkey raping piece of shit, that's who!
I read the newsletter religiously because there is nothing funnier out there, I read it for the humor, who the fuck takes all this that seriously?
This why I fucking hate everyone (equal opportunity asshole), especially you Mikey Mike! Go hang yourself with some barbed wire and do everyone a favor you fucking dick whacker!

Dave  04/15/08 11:14 pm
Fuck off Mikey Mike!

K-weis  04/15/08 11:47 pm
I have just one comment to make? Does it really matter if it is fake or not? It's funny. And isn't that why we buy these shirts and read these newsletters? It's the humor we come here for. If it makes you laugh, success! If not, well then damn, onto the next one. It's an awfully big deal over something that matters not.

Pointless  04/16/08 12:14 am
While I realize I will sound hypocritical after posting this...I have to say that this is sad. 1.) Mikey. Relax. 2.) People boycotting T-Shirt Hell...over something as confusing and dumb as this? Wow, way to stick up for the little guy. 3.) A large multi-million dollar corporation has better things to do then make up emails.
But most importantly, why is this such a huge deal? Honestly, is this entire thing that important? There's fucktwats like Ann Coulter out there and you get caught up in this trivial shit?
T-Shirt Hell is great for a laugh, but T-Shirts don't deserve much more then that.
And for the record....the idea was shit.

Nick Kropelnicki  04/16/08 12:24 am
Oookay...small reality check; does anyone come to T-Shirt Hell for honesty? Or for dark humor, and tools to wedge into the personal boundaries of others? (blacks, midgets, mexicans, any other minority.)

Who the hell cares if they made this E-mail up. Who gives a rat's ass if they fibbed it? I don't. I think it's pretty funny, to tell you the truth.. and if nothing else, it generated traffic, and traffic = money. A smart idea on editor's part.

Mikey? Go do something productive, and cut yourself, like you're good at. They didn't like my shirt idea, they didn't like alot of ideas, who cares. There is a reason you and I aren't capable of running such a kick ass site, and that reason is, that we don't have the right ideas for merch, and they do...and maybe they took ideas and didn't give credit where needed... who cares. Money only moves one direction & business is like sex where they all boil down to one thing ; fucking others to get what you want.

Nick Kropelnicki  04/16/08 12:39 am
Hehehe.. just thought of somethin for a shirt idea... how about some sort of knockoff of Chris Crocker screaming, "LEEEAVE MIKEEYY ALOOOOONNNEE!!!" (pulls blanket over head.)

sorry, that visual made me laugh. you guys can have that one, on the house.

Brian  04/16/08 1:01 am
You twats that feign hot-and-botheredness over this issue are the wretched afterbirths of the freedoms of this country. You're free to rage and speak out about any injustice, but you spend it arguing about a retard's email. Whether or not he wrote it/said it/whatever, he still zealously speaks out about it, which makes him a retard by default.

This mentality is the same one that drives people to vote for the nice, clean cut, jesus-lovin' gladhand while he fistfucks your kids out of an affordable college education with glass in his hands.

You guys are not unlike Rita B, a friend I met earlier. No sense of humor and no concept of picking one's battles.

Not only should none of you have been conceived, but you should have been ejaculated into a hairy hotel drain before your daddy took a postcoital piss.

Eric  04/16/08 1:31 am
Mike, real or fake, has a point. This reply wasn't funny. Flame wars aren't funny when no one says anything interesting. And political jokes and baby jokes might be funny occasionally, but they don't deserve the "Hell" tag. Why bother having a site named T-shirt Hell if you are such a slave to profit that you won't print a bunch of shirts that will probably get people killed for wearing them? Bring back the shirts like "I stab queers". I am sure you can still think of some clever ones.

Jates  04/16/08 1:33 am
Mike is a fucking tool and Androo The Great clearly outlines by how much. I must say t-shirt hell makes up about 95% of my t-shirt wardrobe so for me to boycott them would mean I'd have to go without shirts 6 days of the week, so nuts to that. I definitely read this religiously as well because itís funny as fuck and morons get swept up in bullshit like its September 11th all over again and America is under attack by "terrorists". I mean these Mikey Mike sympathizers, to me, clearly state how possible it is to be the caliber of dool that Mikey Mike isÖ they canít even find a fucking phone number on that there ďinterwebĒ that is so blatantly obvious to find. Itís going to be a sad day when the butt buddies of Jesus realize that the moon landing was fake and they WERE, in fact, an accident.

Manti  04/16/08 1:46 am
arguing on the internet is like running in the special olympics, even if you win, you're still a fucking retard.
so stfu and get over it. who cares if they faked this. what if Mikey Mike there is just some staff member and this is ALL made up? what then? you all look pretty stupid huh? yea.

ringworm  04/16/08 2:08 am
for kURT t., who said, "Either way the shirt idea was funny."

sure, for maybe a month. dog the who? then what are you going to wear? (not that i wore either of my tshirthell purchases for more than a month.)

Bubba  04/16/08 2:21 am
I would buy a T-Shirt that says "Mikey Mike is a douche"..... just saying....

mikey mike is a douche  04/16/08 3:27 am
I second that ^

Mikey Mike  04/16/08 3:29 am
Yah, so this is another guy claiming to be Mikey Mike..
Why would they even put it on the newsletter if they wanted to keep it quiet? Either they try to make it appear like a joke when, in fact, they edited the email or it is a great marketing ploy. No matter which it is: fuck you all and have a nice rape :)

Crikey, Mike  04/16/08 3:44 am
"First get your facts; then you can distort them at your leisure." - Mark Twain
But honestly..why the Fuck does anyone care?

Mikey Mike  04/16/08 5:30 am
Hmmm, maybe this guy works for t-shirt hell and the whole thing is fake..I wonder how many people will use this name...this could get funny. Mikey Mike is a douche...make the shirt

She  04/16/08 6:47 am
...okay, all you fagholes subscribe to this shit for the hatemail anyway, what does it matter if they made it up?

Second, he gives his email in the voicemail, which is why they could list the email in the 'from' part of the original mail.

You're all faggots. Rock on, T-Hell. :)

criztine  04/16/08 8:01 am
You know, I had 4 wisdom teeth yanked the other day, been in a very shitty over medicated mood, and as always, and even more so today, when I see my tshirthell thing in my inbox, I'm like YES! Pure unadulterated evil joy!
I have never thought, Oh gee! I sure hope the chick who writes the newsletter is seeking out truth and justice today, and I sure hope she gives every email a fighting chance for clarity, douchery, and the american way.
Who fucking gives a fuck? I knew when that tshirt submission thing came up you whiners would be all like "waaa why don't you like my idea" or some other nonsense.
Quit licking her boots people, she's smart and funny, and writes a newsletter on a site and YOU subscribed to get it, it's funny, the shirts are good, they can do whatever the fuck they want.
Now go back to dealing with the other huge injustices going on, like old people who walk too slow in the mall, or that cashier who insists on putting your change on top of the receipt so when you try to put it away it all falls everywhere. I mean, MY GOD, somebody DO SOMETHING!!

Personally I'm all for the nigger shirt, while your at it maybe do these shirts
"Where's the beef?"
"Frankie says relax"
"talk to the hand"
because as you know, comedic gold never gets dated, oh wait...fuck.

sifupr  04/16/08 8:05 am
I was wondering if there was a "Go back to Europe"

Shameless  04/16/08 8:27 am
Jeebus mikey, lossen up those tighty whities, the blood flow to your brain is suffering. It's a freakin T-Shirt, not the Declaration of Independence.

Mikey Mike  04/16/08 8:38 am
I'm the REAL Mikey Mike, and I am a registered sex offender. Man, donkeys are SEXY. Sorry, I ment to say "Male donkeys are SEXY."

Satan  04/16/08 9:39 am
I think it's a real voicemail. I think the T-Shirt Hell made up the email in the beginning to not draw attention to the fact that they have a phone number you can call.

darknemesistattoo  04/16/08 10:36 am
I like how so many people seem to be rallying to the latest "cause" while missing the one simple basis of this site...if you don't have a sense of humor that can laugh at the inappropriate or roll with the punches, you don't have to be here. Besides, even if T-shirt Hell made all of this up, do you really think it was for any more sinister purpose than to relieve boredom?

The Alpha Jew  04/16/08 10:51 am
Wow, get the fuck over yourself Mikey Mike. I can't believe people actually care whether or not TShirt Hell made him you really care what us fucktards on this website think? Get a real life.

Mike M  04/16/08 11:03 am
I agree that Mikey Mike is a douche (by the way just because my name is Mike and my surname begins with a M doesn't mean that I am the said idiot).

I do find it strange that T-Shirt Hell would claim it came from an email then a voicemail.

I will continue to read the news letter but will take all future posts with a pinch of salt.

NOTE: In future guys try to keep consistent. That way people won't realise that you are full of shit.

Mikey Mike  04/16/08 11:06 am

FuckDaPolice  04/16/08 11:14 am
Are ALL stupid ass-cracker-ass-crackers that secretly wish they were Black!!

Mikey Mike  04/16/08 11:33 am
I'm the real Mikey Mike, and I'm going to sue that little fucking douchefag for damaging my name and reputation.

It's also come to my attention that not everything in the Thing is accurate! She didn't actually claim us as dependents on her taxes. She's just lying to try to get us to lick her twat!

I think I too will boycott T Shirt Hell!

Iman Azol  04/16/08 11:34 am
Nick: I'd buy a Leeeeeeave Miiiiiikey Aloooooone! shirt.

Mikey Mike  04/16/08 11:35 am
my name's mikey mike and im a grade A cunt

Mikey's Mom  04/16/08 11:36 am
Seriously, Mikey is a whinny little bitch. WHO CARES!!? Even if T-shirt hell makes up each and everyone of the hate mail they post, who fucking cares!?!? It is funny, and the whole point of the newsletter is to be funny. Mikey is just pissed off that he has shitty ideas that have lead him to his current unfulfilled state of mind. This guy is a douche bag, everyone that is going to "unsubscribe" over this is his douche bag mini-me. Lets just say they did totally fuck this guy over, and lets say he gets soooo sad he kills himself tonight.... well the way I see it is not only would this world have one less douche bag, T-shirt hell would have a pretty awesome new t-shirt material to work with too.
That being said, fuck Mickey Mike and his douche bag followers.
Happy mosh pitting.
Mikey's ashamed mom...

ps, I should have had that abortion.

Sunshine Megatron  04/16/08 11:53 am
You retards who are questioning why I had Keisha convert a voice mail to an actual physical email need to shut the fuck up already. We normally post emails, but when we get voice mails like this, I just have her transcribe them so we don't waste bandwidth posting audio files (when people leave us messages, they get emailed to us in .mp3 format).

After I found out about this Mikey Mike bullshit (which was just last week, because do you really think I read this windy fucking thing each time it comes out?), I had to have her clear things up. I would have never even discovered this hate mail had I not gone to our newsletter archive and just clicked on a random newsletter to take a look at how we have our comments set up because we were adding comments to shirts this week.

So, there you have it. There is no scheme, no bullshit. It was simply a matter of me not wanting to post audio files. Had I seen the responses from Mikey Mike when they were posted, we would have done this a lot sooner because I really care what you scumbags think of us.

Josh  04/16/08 12:20 pm
I love T-shirt hell. I wouldn't doubt them, they give me hillarious entertainment whenever I need it. Is it really a big deal that it was a voicemail? It was probably easier to put down an email then saying "DISCLAIMER THIS IS FROM A VOICEMAIL" Tshirt hell doesn't have to explain itself for anything

bobby  04/16/08 1:03 pm
Are you sad little fucks seriously mad at t-shirt hell? Ohh I bet they are shaking in their boots because you are threatening to not buy shirts from them.

Your a bunch of whiny fucks.

King Smokey  04/16/08 1:07 pm
Mikey Mike is a big pussy. Everyone who is "cancelling their newsletters" or "won't buy from t-shirt hell anymore" are even bigger pussies. Don't you know what site you are on?

Ms. Hell... You should make this whole thing in to a t-shirt. A special edition moron shirt with all the comments all over the shirt....

Karl  04/16/08 1:33 pm
Seriously now? Does it matter if TShirt hell altered the e-mail? It's fucking funny. We read this newsletter for our own amusement. Maybe there was a slow week or two and not enough retarded midgets and degenerates could figure out how to send an e-mail to TShirt Hell and instead of letting us down by not posting up hilariously elementary e-mails they decided to alter an existing email to make it slightly less educated. I'm not saying this happened, but if it did, who fucking cares?

Oh, and I'm running on the theory that the first 15-20 comments are all Mikey Mike. Fucking tool.

NO I AM MIKEY  04/16/08 2:03 pm
no seriously i am mikey

FUCK YOU I AM MM  04/16/08 2:06 pm
just shitting you my head isnt filled with semen, OR IS IT, bw bad idea terrible fact, and longest ever reply is not necasserily a good thing you but fucking asshole

A Fat Bald Guy In A Funny T-Shirt  04/16/08 2:18 pm
Hate mail is hate mail...whether it is by phone or otherwise. Even if they did make it up, it was the caliber of entertainment i love and expect from the brilliant minds of the T-Shirt Hell staff.

Mikey Mike touches lil boys  04/16/08 3:18 pm
Mikey Mike is the the most retarded person i've ever had the misfortune to discover. The guy whines more than a little kid in a candy store. Sersiously, get a fucking life and just move on and stop changing your story, it just makes you look like even more of a dool.

All of those people that are saying they are going to unsubscribe, i say good riddance, we don't need little fags like them here. I love this site and i just can't wait to read the newsletter every month.

Weird  04/16/08 4:09 pm
lame shit everyone

Col. Mustard  04/16/08 4:09 pm
OMG! People, this is T-Shirt Hell, not Daniel Fuckin' Webster I read the newsletter religiously and I don't believe a damn word of it! But it's still funny as hell! I don't believe there was ever a voicemail and I'm not so sure there was even an e-mail. I really don't believe there is even a Mikey Mike out there. Get it? "There is NO spoon".

Get a clue people! Read it, laugh at it, and trash it.

Bad Habit  04/16/08 4:24 pm
This is the best hate mail thread ever.
Can I have a cookie?

Mikey Mike  04/16/08 4:43 pm
It is true, I am a registered Sex Offender but no worries I plan to move to Brazil soon to marry a 13 year old LadyBoy because they are so gentle and smooth. However I "think" i might boycott tshirthell because I have no life and I love checking this thread for comments so I can defend myself. Lock your kids up parents, Mikey Mike is coming after them (that's me douchebags)

That Guy  04/16/08 5:16 pm
LMFAO tshirthell dident let me post my comment about this what losers... what the matter? you can dish it out but you cant take it.. sad

That guy  04/16/08 5:19 pm
Wow i can beleave i just wasted all this time reading this stupid news letter and comments... i realize tshirt hell thinks tere tough shit cuz they make "edgy" tshirts but in reality there just immatuer piss heads looking for some publisity i dont care if mike is real the email is real or what ever it dosent really matter the guys stupid to have emailed them in the first place if he is real... scratch that hes stupid for comeing out of his mothers uterus becuz he cant take a stupid fucking joke... as for t shirt hell... who the fuck writes this newsletter a fucking 10 year old i thought you guys were above shit like this... the upside is that youve sunk low enough to suck my dick

-Fuck you all

Mikey Mike  04/16/08 5:50 pm
Shit, Wow . .i AM a fucktard douche whore . . Looks like dad was right!
Anyone else like to stick broken bottles up thier assholes?

Maricely  04/16/08 5:59 pm
Frankie says relax

Mikey Mike's Boyfriend  04/16/08 6:18 pm
Dear All,
I feel so sad reading you all flaming at my Mikey. I love him so much and hate youu all so much !
Leave my Mikey alone. Each time u make him mad like that, he beats me instead of drinking down my cum and suck my fat dick dry!

Please stop !!

Queerfully ...

Mikey Mike' Boyfriend and Lover.
Love you Mikey !

Leelee  04/16/08 6:25 pm
How about this: who give two shits about whether they made it up or not? It's purely for entertainment purposes...and you all receive the newsletter, that only contains funny shit and hate mails....and you're trying to call them out on it being fake and threatening to never buy from them again? Wow, I didn't realize how many fucking retarded chimps read the newsletter and had computers and are also hypocritical. How interesting.

Mikey Mike  04/16/08 6:30 pm
I like turtles!

MJ  04/16/08 6:52 pm
Can't anyone take a fucking joke? Since when have t-shirt hell been serious? Do you believe everything in their newsletters? I think you all need to get a grip, and Mikey Mike needs to go crawl up a dogs ass and die for that lame t-shirt idea

Anything you want  04/16/08 6:54 pm
Going to have to agree with Col. Mustard...I don't even think there is 70 people who get t-shirt hell's newsletter let alone a "Yusak N. Madik", etc that has any interest in a tshirthell staff-member talking to himself.

Good try though, was funny - but the first comment in this pretty much gave it away.

Muff Muncher  04/16/08 7:42 pm
Yes, they do have a phone number (all businesses do, dumb asses.) I really think that, since this is done in April, it couldn't be a... APRIL FOOL'S PRANK if it's fake, now could it? And since I've done business with T-Shirt Hell, and found them to be an honest and reputable company, and don't really care if it's fake or not. And I'VE sent them hate mail (true, just to see it posted) and they posted it, so now I know it's real. Chill out, peeps.

A Douche  04/16/08 8:05 pm
Oh, Fuck all of you, you stupid fucks.. who gives a fucking shit anyway???

BlackPez  04/16/08 8:22 pm
Ok... Ive read through half of the responses in this posting and jesus... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!? Does anyone truly give a flying fuck about this topic? Mikey mike... You are a fag and have no life. Im not saying that I do Im saying i can recognizer someone else that has no life. Why would you continually check this and post? And to everyone else that says that tshirt hell is being mean and thats just wrong and there assholes... Of course there assholes! Have you EVER seen ANY of there fucking shirts!? Thats what makes them so damn funny. So to all of the people that are bitching and whining about them being mean, go get a fucking tampon and shut the fuck up. =) **KissKiss**

Mikey Mike  04/16/08 8:37 pm
Would the real Mikey Mike please stand up, pleas stand up.
I just wanted to try being Mikey Mike for a few seconds.
It's not that good really...

corange  04/16/08 9:16 pm
I think that Mikey Mike was so incensed that he sent a hate email AND a hate voice mail. Just let it go, man!

Mike Hunt  04/16/08 9:30 pm
Uh.... if anyone is offended by the idea that they might have made up the voice mail, the e-mail, or pretty much all of this... let's remember these ARE, after all, the folks who came up with a shirt about auctioning Christopher Reeve's wheelchair on e-bay, one suggesting that Hitler was misunderstood, and, one that professed that we should stop black babies from becoming criminals later in life. And YOU FUCKING MORONS ARE JUST NOW DECIDING TO GET OFFENDED? Buncha whining maggots... shut the fuck up and go find a life ... the Salvation Army may have rejected you, but I'm sure some bum on a corner would welcome you and your vast wisdom and insight into his cardboard box for a quick reach around. T-SHIRT HELL ROCKS!!!!

a newcomer's guide to the afterlife  04/16/08 10:54 pm
This is great! I had suspected Tshirt hell of this before, and now, this confirms it. What a bunch of assholes, i love it! How can you people be mad at them for whatever stunt they pull? These are the people who bring you some of the rudest content on the internet, and your suprised by this? Have you read their newsletter!?! At least they are honest about what they are, unlike you twats, who laugh at their humor when it aligns with your beliefs but then spit venom when it does not. What a bunch of whiny ass-clowns on holiday in brazil! Tshirt hell? Keep up the good work and keep these fucking morons scraching their collective rat-turd-filled skulls!

Manti  04/16/08 11:00 pm
Wow! Chris Crocker subscribes to Tshirt Hell?
I would watch him and Mikey Mike do it. lmao.

Math  04/17/08 1:28 am
Isn't "tens-of-hundreds" more commonly known as thousands?

Mikey Mike  04/17/08 4:54 am
I killed JFK...

Loz  04/17/08 5:59 am
HA. Reading this thread wasted an entertaining 5 minutes. Its fun to see over 80 posts on such pointless shit.

Mikey Mike  04/17/08 8:53 am
I can't figure-out what's dumber.. fighting a case like this, supporting a case like this, arguing against a case like this, saying "fuck" before every other word, or reading about the whole thing. (Hmm.. or posting under other names and claiming to boycott) I got to like post 7 or something and then bailed.

I guess the long and short of it is.. if you have an idea you think belongs on a t-shirt that you're gonna' cry over if it DOESN'T get on a t-shirt.. then go put it on a stupid t-shirt.. look for "custom t-shirt printing" on Google. If you're right, you win, and feel free to boast. If you're wrong, you wasted money, but at least you aren't a complete waste of flesh.

Bongo  04/17/08 10:46 am
Hay mike...You're a FAG!!! FUCK OFF!!!

Mikey mike  04/17/08 11:57 am
My dick is hard from reading all this about me :)

Mikey Mike  04/17/08 12:12 pm

Had to throw that out there!

Nigger  04/17/08 12:41 pm
i havent read all of the above comments, but....Who the fuck cares??

J  04/17/08 1:06 pm
I'm pretty sure any e-mail or voice mail anyone sends to t-shirt hell becomes official property of them and they can re-type or re-create said e-mail or voice mailto their liking to make anyone sound like a "douche". I can't believe how many people got so mad about this. Who cares if they did make it up. The people of the world should be more concerned about other shit than poor little Mikey's stupid t-shirt idea, i mean lets face it, his idea was shit. The best thing that probably ever happened to that kid was being made fun of on this site and he probably is showing all his friends in the cafeteria during his lunch period in 7th grade. Who gives a fuck about your stupid shirt idea, why don't you start caring about which of 3 morons your parents are going to elect next and fuck up the world some more until we all just nuke each other and make the world a better place. I hope you all die, you too T-shirt hell, especially you Mikey..... BLAAAAADDDDDDOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!

WageSlave  04/17/08 2:46 pm
I have to be polite to retarded abusive dickweeds in my customer service job, I love seeing the same whiny-assed little bitches getting reamed out on here, and I don't think TShirt Hell make most of this crap up because even in my job (nothing at all offensive/controversial) I get abusive dickweeds trying to make my life hell because they think "the customer is always right." Then I come and read this site, and my heart is restored.... Go TShirt Hell!!!!

Mikey Mike  04/17/08 4:14 pm
I'M THE REAL- oh, fuck, somebody's already done this, haven't they? goddammit all! well, just wanted to say that this is really sad... 90+ comments and I really thought i'd read something funny in one. Too bad, I'll check the next thread. T-Shirt Hell rules! fuckin' funny as hell... no wonder it's in the name! god, could I be any lamer?

Tycus  04/17/08 5:22 pm
ok fair enough they messed up by providing a false email address for him, but i can understand why they transcribed it and called it an email instead, precisely for the reason that otherwise they need to embbed video into their web page, and i can understand why that might not work for them (youtube bandwidth restrictions etc etc.) im not sure who i believe here, but if your a spoon who so easily has their opinion swayed by some douche-bag on the internet, well thats your choice, ill still be buying the tishirts. and remember "Say yes to anal!" and help rid the world of the rising tide of idocracy that threatens to drown us all.

Fuck Mike  04/17/08 5:38 pm
He's mad because they didn't use that lame ass idea? How about some OJ jokes? I mean since we are using news stories that are so current, I thought maybe a bloody glove joke would be perfect.

jared leff  04/17/08 9:20 pm
what kind of a loser fuck is mikey? this is great humor! MIKEY, get off your soapbox, shove it up your ass, and leave the good humor people at t-shit hell alone! they obviously dont need to hear from your dumb-ass anymore than they do now.

Fail  04/17/08 11:27 pm
I just assumed all the hatemail was bullshit made up by T-Hell.

Phil  04/17/08 11:44 pm
So, almost everyone who said they were no longer buying from t-shirt hell anymore because thier dicks is retarded. Uh, no shit thier a bunch of fucking dickholes. Thats what makes them great. Who cares if they made the whole thing up, if they did, then I think its awesome that they are such assholes.

Beth  04/18/08 12:00 am
Hilarious! I can't believe people are getting all worked up over a series of emails. I find it humorous that people would stop doing business with a company over something like this. Oh, and did anyone ever consider the fact that it was originally a voicemail, but it's easier to type it up as an email than put it in the newsletter as a voicemail? That was the scenario that I conjured.
Anywho, anyone who dedicates this much time and passion to arguing over such petty bullshit has too much time, a serious lack of life, and is, as aforementioned, a douche.

Corey  04/18/08 3:22 am
101 replies! Real or not, this is fucking hilarious. The fact that this one message being email or voicemail, real or fake has sparked so much debate is too funny. These newsletters are for pure entertainment. I laugh my ass off at every single one of them. The letters are awesome, and I don't really care if they are fake. For all those who feel that this situation has made them hate Tshirt hell, and feel the need to post comments, you can go kiss your mothers and fuck your fathers! T-Shirt Hell: keep up the good work and keep those shirts coming!

Guppy Gurl  04/18/08 4:29 am
Man! This is the best mother fucken entertainment Iíve had all week! Itís Friday night (I live in New Zealand.. donít worry , you yanks will catch up in 14 or so hours.) My weeks been hell. My teams getting their ass kicked. The only thing keeping a smile on my face is reading all the comments you half-witted reactionest are posting. Ö now, for those of you with more than 3 brain cells to rub together, somebody plz pass the popcorn?

TJF  04/18/08 6:36 am
Brick in the wall tyme!

"I do find it strange that T-Shirt Hell would claim it came from an email then a voicemail.
I will continue to read the news letter but will take all future posts with a pinch of salt.
NOTE: In future guys try to keep consistent. That way people won't realise that you are full of shit."
This. Until now, I'd assumed that all e-mails were for true. I mean, I can believe that people'd be dumb enough to send the things they do, so it all semed viable. Thing is, it'd've been just as lazy to say, "This time we got voicemail, and it goes a little somethin' like this:", right? Not sure if that Sunshine Megatron is believable, but even then that would have had to have been a Ctrl+A/Copy+Paste deal to be lazier than what I've suggested. Even then, the names/pronouns given don't sync with The Thing's "Transcribing was difficult due to the fact that his words weren't perfectly clear because of the cock in his mouth, but I did my best to capture the essence, if not the exact words, of his douchery," so, really, I don't know WHAT the true events are.

At any rate, posting a comment myself can assure me that, unless they (TSH) are complete airheads, they can more or less verify that it's the same guy postin' if he uses the same Email each time. I mean, it's right under where we put our posts' display name, and if this Mikey Mike is real, he'd be bothered enough to plug his in there each time.

In short: I've got my speculations toward you now, whether you care or not.

Mikey Mike  04/18/08 7:42 am
I fucked my mother in the ass, im a pig prick smelling cunt and i like to stick my finger up my ass! I have a new idea make a t-shirt with a piece of crap and underneath writen "Mike Mike the piece of shit that was raped by the sesame street gang"

quinn  04/18/08 8:38 am
I haven't read everything above but I have read enough to know that some of you can't seem to take a joke...even though jokes are everything t-shirt hell stands for!

Not saying that t-shirthell made it up, not saying Mikey Mike is lying but at the end of the day its all pretty humerous what ever happened to spark it off and to be fair guys, this news letter is free even if you don't buy shirts from the site...and everyone it seems appears to have been entertained in some way as most have left comments!

Saying you won't buy from t-shirt hell again because they are having a laugh..well thats up to you but at the end of the day no one knows except t-shirt hell and possibly mikey mike (if he is a really person, because no offense the site could have easy made the whole lot up from the start just for shits and giggles)

Michelle  04/18/08 9:54 am
HA! Ridiculous and bizarre--some stories you just canNOT make up. I personally don't care who's's is fucking hysterical either way. Thanks for reminding me to lighten up.

Holy Shit  04/18/08 11:05 am
Holy Shit 04/18/08 11:02 am
I cant believe I just wasted a half hour reading all this bullshit from some gay guy who stole his name from a white rapper from the eraly 90's. Mikey Mike and the Funky Bunch of Loser Douchebags. -cheers

jackie  04/18/08 11:07 am
why exactly would you get pissed at a website that sells these kind of shirts? theyre smartasses and they dont give a fuck about you. who cares what happened? its fuckin hilarious either way.

James  04/18/08 11:19 am
After reading the first 40 comments or so, one can assume the rest are exactly like the rest of them, just with different people trying to go with the crowd with their own restated opinion of the original statement. Even if all this was true; does that change the fact that more people join this site all the time? The fact that people are fascinated at the concept of someone getting torn apart? It's true. Some people probably come back just to read up on the stuff these guys say to random people. And to sum it up: If tshirthell is SO bad, why don't all you "unsubscribers" go and unsubscribe? It's because you ENJOY reading and hearing about shit that doesn't actually happen to you, because you're glad you're not them. And I think Mikey Mike shoud just let it go, because the more he posts, the more of an idiot he appears, by playing right into their hands. I think--wait, no...I KNOW that people need to learn to laugh at one another and take a joke. The world would be a lot less hostile, paranoid, and violent. But everything means something else in this day and age, doesn't it? To some, I couldn't be more correct on this topic, while to others I'm just another jerk who thinks they know something logical.
( I wish closed minds came with closed mouths. )

FUCK YOU  04/18/08 12:09 pm

FUCK YOU  04/18/08 12:14 pm

(ps, I am not a republican either, they can go fuck off too but the democrats are truly stupid scary)

Lisa  04/18/08 3:06 pm
This whole string is hysterical!

Mikey Mike  04/18/08 3:32 pm
OPEN YOUR EYES ASSHOLES....There is no Mikey Mike, T-Shirt hell made up the email, made up the voicemail. Made up do exactly THIS...over 100 comments, theyve never gotten such attention (Coming soon - A 'Mikey Mike is a ---fill in the blank) shirt...that most of you idiots will buy. This was a lame attempt to gain attention T Shitfaces...Seriously dissapointed in you guys (and lately your shirts DO suck dick) If Mikey DOES exist, you should probably hire his ass, his idea was better than any shirt I've seen on here since last year.

Mikey Mike  04/18/08 3:45 pm
*****T - SHIRT HELL STAFF******* I think you guys owe me a fucking free shirt or something for all this. Let's set one thing straight my EMAIL was a joke. There was no voicemail. Admit it, you put extra words in, blah blah fucking blah...Either way look how many people are talking about this shit. You have my email (and apparently my phone number) so send me a shirt bitches! And thanks to all the haters and my devout followers. I'm not really a douchebag in real life, but I play one on T-shirt hell. - Mikey Mike

Mikey Mike  04/18/08 5:07 pm
I'm a douche! They took the email I gave them in the voicemail and put it in the "from" space, and then transcribed everything else. I'm a douche.

I'm actually a disgruntled employee that was fired because the lobotomized monkey made better t-shirts than I did, and worked for Bananas. The monkey also gave better blowjobs than I did, so they fired me.

Thanks for the all the fish!  04/18/08 6:52 pm
I AM SPARTACUS! Oh wait, fuck! Shit! Damn!
I mean... I AM MIKEY MIKE!

Slayer  04/19/08 8:37 pm
Sounds like Mikey Mike is looking for a fucking handout! If you're so unhappy, man, no one around here gives a fuck. Do us all a favor and stop replying to your own shit. You're making yourself look like a desperate little boy that no one pays any attention to. Your shirt didn't get picked? Who gives a rat's ass? Shut the fuck up and stop crying about it, you goddamn clown!

Slayer is a Fag  04/19/08 10:46 pm
Ummm, Slayer. Ever think MIKEY MIKE is a name being used by more than one person. i doubt the guy even exists. You, Slayer suck huge dick, really. And if the guy is real. He does deserve something. Look at all the people commenting. And no, Im not Mikey Mike dickhead

Deemo Diablo  04/20/08 5:50 am
I'm gonna add another comment, although a bit late. I'm going to type some words in a box so that others online can see it and I can feel like my hard work paid off and someone noticed it. Look at me, I'm so smart. The world couldn't live without me. Look for my supreme intellect and witty comments on other topics. Wow I feel good now.

Slayer  04/20/08 3:31 pm
Um, Slayer Is A Fag, yeah, I knew there was more than a single individual using that name. I was referring to the jackass that wrote the email and wrote the first post and then, responded to it, dipshit! Apparently, you must suck the dude's cock since you're the only one defending him. You're a fucking moron because you act like he deserves something for his fucking stupid idea, that didn't get picked anyway, and that if he cries loud enough, he'll get it. Pop your head out of your ass. Whether he's real or not, isn't the issue. Maybe if you spent the time reading the posts instead of slurping him off, you might have known that. And why did you feel the need to point you weren't him, eh? You probably are, dickhole! You can shut the fuck up, too. Bunch of fucking crybabies!!!! WAH! WAH! WAH! Don't make fun of Mikey Mike because he didn't get his idea picked, but give him some free shit anyway! WAH! WAH! WAH! Fuck off, jackass!!!

Slayer is a Fag  04/20/08 5:46 pm
You're right, I had his dick in my mouth as I was writing it. I love stirring, which is clearly what the Mikey Mike guy did. Who the FUCK listens to Slayer anymore? Are you in your 50's homo?

Slayer  04/20/08 7:53 pm
That's right, dude. I love stirring the shit, too. Which is precisely why I responded to your stupidity. Say what you want. Call me what you want, too. I'm in my 50s? I'm a homo? Good ones, man. I haven't heard those before today. Maybe you should be a comedian. You're pretty fucking funny. But, I still say you're a bleeding, pathetic cunt. But, hey! What do I know?

you  04/21/08 1:05 pm
mikey, you are a fag.just deal with it.youre proving their case even further.

RandomPerception  04/21/08 6:45 pm
Someone that usually gets so defensive about something is usually in the wrong. And I'm not talking about T-Shirt hell either. Mikey, whether they did or did not alter your email is moot point. The fact that you got so defensive about something so small is the problem. Perhaps you never read the newsletter in the past, but this site is full of sarcasm. Perhaps that is beyond your comprehension and that is why you have to flame with all those capital letters you so obviously like using. Anyone that sides with him, fine you can do so, but this is the nature of the site, they bash on people, that's what they do, and so what if they fabricated it, it's made this whole issue last even longer. I think it's hilarious that someone gets so defensive. Even if the site did add to his email, it maintains the same mood and demeanor that the rest of the email contained. You can infer his attitude from his "REAL" email. He's just some prick that feels he is creative and bitches that the world is unfair and he is the odd man out. Here's an idea MikeyMike, move on, if you ignore it, it will go away. The more you reply, the more retaliations there will probably be. I know you're not the brightest, your emails give that away, but you should be bright enough to know when to stop.

Mikey Mike  04/21/08 9:49 pm
You're right. I AM over it, i am actually only still her to tickle the vaginas of all the assholes against me..yes, my idea was not great (admitted) NOR DO I CAR they fabricated what i said...i just love sitting back and watching the comments...u dumb shits are only feeding my ego, im currently hard as a rock and my erection with all this excitement is a full 3 inches! Thank you all

o.O  04/22/08 3:42 am
I think that they're both lying. I don't think it was an email, I don't think it was a voice mail. I think Mikey Mike is t-shirt hell and they're just fucking with everyone for amusement. Who cares if they make up the emails? They amuse you. But this one wasn't funny, so fuck you all. =D

Douchey McDouche  04/22/08 9:12 pm
Its all a big conspiracy and the astute readers of this fine publication have uncovered it...this is up there with Roswell and the JFK assassination...
'Mikey Mike and his Felcher Crew' have enlightened us all...

Mikey Mike's Vagina  04/22/08 10:21 pm
Yes to all of you who are curious
I really am ashamed of my owner
I wish the molecules that made me in fertility would have changed me into an asshole
Because everyday I get hurt when people call my Mikey a fag, and then they kick me really hard

Just last week Mikey thought that he started his period but really it was the aftershock of the 85 cuntpunts i received

Plus im wore out from the 30 penises stuck in me when people realized that I was constantly loose and wet

P.S. I do like turtles

Jake Malicious  04/23/08 12:22 am
If they fabricated the email/voicemail thing, I think it'd be fucking awesome. Think about it, these guys are going out of their way to piss people off, and YOU IDIOTS FELL RIGHT INTO THEIR HANDS! I call that some funny shit! Haaa hahaha! "Oooooh, injusteeeeesssee" yeah let's get pissed off at a company who's sole claim to fame is pissing people off. Nice way to prove who is the king here, and who are the schmucks.

But if this ISN'T a big, elaborate lie, kudos to you T-Shirt Hell for going out of your way to completely own a whiney little narcissistic cunt who got offended that someone for the first time in their life didn't say GOOD JOB!!! at the retard's little macaroni art. More people need to be shown their place in life: right at the back of the man train.

Mikey Mike  04/25/08 12:11 am
Mikey Mike is a douche! make the shirt! I can't believe what I started!

samalamadingdong  04/27/08 3:00 am

Donna-For-Brains  04/29/08 1:48 pm
this is freakin awesome. who cares if its real, its funny, dumbasses

Maddness  04/29/08 10:16 pm

Matt  05/02/08 4:10 am
Wow, I wish I'd actually read this when it got to my inbox two weeks ago. Jesus Christ, I think I'll side with T-Shrit Hell on this one. Seriously, what would they have to gain by making this up? And to those making comments such as, "Why would they say it's an e-mail," and, "why make up an e-mail," I'm sure when they got this phone call, it was just too good not to share, so they listened carefully to it and typed it all out. He even gave his e-mail address. Mikey Mike is a sad and pathetic human being, and I can see why they didn't use his shirt suggestion. It was lame, simply put. If somebody wore that shirt now, no one would get it, because no one would remember that incident. I didn't. And the guy can't get through one sentence without saying the word "fuck". And if anyone else wants to side with Mikey Mike on this debate, let me try to dissuade you one last time.
Enough said.

Mikey Mike  05/25/08 9:08 am
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Mikey Mike please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Mikey Mike please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Mike
[*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*]
"Mikey Mike, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

[Chorus: Mike (repeat 2X)]

'Cause I'm Mikey Mike, yes I'm the real mikey
All you other Mikey Mike are just imitating
So won't the real Mikey Mike please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Mike, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Mike VD [AHHH!]
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
And there's a million of us just like me
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!


I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Mikey Mike lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
with his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Mikey please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

[Chorus 4X]

Ha ha
Guess there's a Mikey Mike in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up

Hate You  05/25/08 6:56 pm
Shut the fuck up already, dude!

joy division

-----Original Submission-----

From: Sheresa H.
Sent: Saturday, April 12, 2008

You know what...I think this is fuckin pathetic. This is sad that you are goin around condoneing this type of hate at this day in time. and i hope your goddamn house burn down you son of a bitches. I would call you a racist name but you know what I'm not gonna balittle myself for all the ignorance. If you feel like this i wish god had made your ass die in the 1950s and 60s.

This is sad that you actually feeling the need to balittle people that...I mean people, just because they different. Are you that much in the back country that you can't accept change? You can't accept people for who they are. You lowdown white cocker spaniel son of a bitches...You are the son of a bitches in the worse place in the highest positions of goverment.

You really feel like this and this is sad. Its sad. Who the fuck you think you come from - you think you just come from your mama pussy and your dads stankin ass dick? Let me tell you something...this is a sad state and I am apalled and looking on this actually thinking looking on this website and looking at all this disgusting racist jokes. it is none of it's funny. none of it at all when people have seriously died over this and theres still hate going on in the world. Why are you adding to it?

This is some sick disguisting shit. There are no coons - there are black people. There are no niggas - there are negroes. And unfortunitely some of them cannot conduct theirselves but you cannot judge a whole group by what a few do. Even nowadays, I figure that everybody wanna talk about love peace and happiness. No, this is not love peace and happiness, this is fucking stupidity. Fucking ignorance and racism is alive and well just like I thought. Even more prevelant than back in the day.

Editor's Note: Before I begin, I'm going to give you all a moment to reread that and let it all sink in. andy("Dumpty dum...[whistling sound]...doo dee doo...[twirling hair]...") Okay, if I gave you an extra hour and humans used 100% of their brains there's every possibility this still wouldn't sink in, but I've got to move ahead.

Where to begin...I could point out the mistakes in grammar and spelling, but that would be like complaining about the pickle slices not being evenly distributed on my donkey poop sandwich.

I could point out the irony of someone like this complaining about racism and simultaneously setting her race back about 200 years. What a gay pride parade accomplishes for homosexuals, she accomplished for the black community in a single email.

I could also polish off the old chestnut that her passion and rage regarding her race could be put to better use than by writing to a shirt site. There are countless things I COULD mention, but in the end they all pale in comparison to her own words. It would be like adding an extra brush stroke to Michaelangelo's "Creation of Man." I'd just fuck it up.

You're welcome to say whatever you'd like in the comments, but I'm just going to sit back and let this masterpiece of supreme idiocy wash over my body. Ahhhh....

Comments (47) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Rob  04/15/08 7:43 pm
I coudn't even make it through this one without feeling like my intelligence was melting. Shit I think my eyes are crossed now :(

Uhhhhhh  04/15/08 8:55 pm
uhhhhhhh...(drool coming from corners of mouth)

rubberduckie  04/15/08 9:05 pm
my fucking head hurts now!

Mikey Mike  04/15/08 11:15 pm
why are reading these comments?! READ ABOUT HOW THESE FUCKERS LIED ABOUT ME UP ABOVE!!!!

Dave  04/15/08 11:16 pm
Fuck off Mikey Mike!

Brian  04/16/08 12:01 am

david duke  04/16/08 12:02 am
Why can't niggers, coons, porch monkeys, rubber lips, burr heads, knuckledraggers take a joke? What has this country come to?

joe  04/16/08 12:25 am
please direct your attention to this: "This is sad that you are goin around condoneing this type of hate at this day in time." imeaditely followed by: "and i hope your goddamn house burn down you son of a bitches."
excuse me lady, don't preach while you're having your dick sucked by a 12 year old boy.
that is all

Meghan  04/16/08 1:54 am
I read the first paragraph before realizing that my brain was starting to hurt, but when I read the reply and had to know what was said. I think I'm going to go have my intelligence level retested... I had to dump some brain cells just to be able to make it to the end of this incoherant non-sense!!

rignworm  04/16/08 2:24 am
i want to kill people who say (type) "son of a bitches." fucking listen to (read) yourself. "a bitches?" really? sons of a bitch, genius.

Crikey, Mike  04/16/08 3:52 am
And to think that I always thought 'coons' were negroes, not black people. Thank you, stupid kitchenslave bitch.

criztine  04/16/08 8:06 am
"you're so're breaking down america, so like a superior kinder person I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU AND BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!


John  04/16/08 8:20 am
Clearly a fake hatemail. Sad that they let these through.

Giant Balls  04/16/08 8:46 am
You'd think with all her knowledge about racism she'd have more sense about the word "belittle". Or at least how to SUCK A FAT BLACK COCK.

dude  04/16/08 9:15 am
You f'ckin, jizz sloppin, munkey 'coon!!! take yer obama luvin' , jebuz prazin', big lip likkin heiffer stank puss azz back to the MTV site where yer kind are welcum. doeznt JAZy & Beyoncie need yer watermelun head to sign their guestbook not this site where we use such harsh language. Kooks and Gooks go kiss a power line and leave this site to the ones wit BALLZ

hrt  04/16/08 9:38 am
Brilliant. Fucking brilliant.

Southern Redneck Bubba  04/16/08 9:45 am
You goobers! Everybody know its 'sunsabitches'!

Pete  04/16/08 10:38 am
As I swallowed back the bile that had escaped my innards after I had read this I began to chuckle uncontrollably when I reminded myself that the target of this mindless crap was, in fact, of the same race! Ha Ha you ignorant slut whore whose mother couldn't wait to fart you out to forget about. The jokes on you.

Tom UK  04/16/08 11:21 am
Why is it that stupid people are always the indignant ones?

I'm sorry to say this, but it's people like this ill-educated subject that cause people to stereotype you Americans

Iman Azol  04/16/08 11:43 am
My brain hurt by four words, my eyes glazed after the first sentence, then I stopped reading. Then I imagined what this cunt looks like and spooged all over her face. Actually, it was my face, but I pretended it was hers.

Mikey Mike  04/16/08 11:44 am
Just proves that after shooting MLK, they should have gunned down his entire crowd of supporters. Instead of a day off, we could have had a whole week.

Mikey Mike  04/16/08 12:00 pm
Play the voicemail of this message please!!

NO I AM MIKEY  04/16/08 2:14 pm
seriously mikey dont be suchan attention seeking cunt, (and yes i no this is giving u attention), but good god u americans have some redneck dicks dont you, they bring your cuntry (i spelt it that way on purpose)

NO I AM MIKEY  04/16/08 2:15 pm
CUNTRY DOWN (apologies)

Sheresa is a box  04/16/08 4:53 pm
Uhhhh. My Brain. I am going to blow my brains out now after reading this i realized there is NO GOD

Muff Muncher  04/16/08 7:47 pm
I. Hate. This. Person. I don't know who they are, and I don't know from whence they came, but one day I will meet them, and the sun shall set, and we shall duel, and I will come out victorious. I really hope that one day, she grows a brain. And I hope even more, that one day, she fucking uses it.

Aquanettashabarbara  04/16/08 9:34 pm
Yo, Sheresa mah niggah... giiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrlllllllll.... so glad to see you been working wif dat hookd on phonix shit yo mama sentchoo. You beez gittin real good at writin n' shit. But don't hate, you know our lesbo Afro-hican sistah is workin' dis site and we need to show some luv.

corange  04/16/08 9:34 pm
Hmm, what's a "balittle"? Is that a newfangled term for black midgets?

Pam  04/17/08 12:53 am
What's wrong with her letter---she obviously attended a prestigious negro college and graduated with honors.....

Dave  04/17/08 12:58 am
WOW! I feel dumber after reading that!!!!

mikey mike  04/17/08 9:09 am
I was hoping she was gonna call us cavemen. I love it when they do that. It's right up there with chicks mooning me..

It's funny though.. how do you fight racism by angrily emphasizing the differences, threatening death against the reader, and comparing the reader to a bunch of stereotypes?

That's like the nigger calling the kettle black.

Matt  04/17/08 6:53 pm
God damn Nigger!! Get your filthy black ass back in the cotton field where it belongs!!! Hahahahaha stupid black bitch

jared leff  04/17/08 9:31 pm
dumb none the less, but at least she didnt try to use the supposed word "shiznit"!

Playboy X  04/18/08 12:32 am
Mikey, if u feel u are certain about yourstory then fight until death. Dont let the obese bunion popper turn you into a dik if u r true. But dude calm down coz nobody even knows u. So unless your life is online (in which case you'd be sad). Drop it and we (me included) will always remember how TSH turned on its own 4 comedy purposes. OK back 2 d jokes. Yeah and stop beggin for sympathy on other posts.

TJF  04/18/08 6:49 am
"You are the son of a bitches in the worse place in the highest positions of goverment."
Now, the "you" in question is T-Shirt Hell. Tell me, if they were in charge, wouldn't we have a wors-- well, significantly different country here?

Anyway, this is as good a place as any (save maybe the MM post-fest), but stringing together all the slurs and slang you can bear to remember in response to someone's (supposed) e-mail doesn't do much to make you seem in a position to piss on them, unless you count their feet, being a bit too close to them in too many ways.

The Rev  04/18/08 9:47 am
Man. I was a child of the 60's and we didn't have drugs like these folks have been into. You guys at Tshirthell got some really strange customers. Pass the pipe.

The Shepherd  04/18/08 10:58 am
"Balittle" - What you do to sheep before you fuck them. It's always better if they're crying.

Holy Shit  04/18/08 11:02 am
I cant believe I just wasted a half hour reading all this bullshit from some gay guy who stole his name from a white rapper from the eraly 90's. Mikey Mike and the Funky Bunch of Loser Douchebags. -cheers

Holy Shit, it's Holy Shit  04/18/08 7:01 pm
It was Marky Mark you dumn fag! I thought all cum guzzlers were up to date on them!


Slayer  04/19/08 8:46 pm
Goddamn! I'm not sure what to make of this one. This cunt isn't serious, is she? Instead of going out and doing what's right, she's writing an illiterate letter to a fucking t shirt company. Dumb slut. Sheresa H., if you want to make a difference, stop reinforcing the fucking stereotypes by acting like you know what the fuck you're talking about. You're an ignorant cunt who can't even write a sensible letter that isn't filled with the ramblings of an idiot. Do us a favor and go fuck yourself.

And Mikey Mike, there you go again.......WAH! WAH! WAH! about your fucking shirt idea not getting picked. Somebody needs to give me something for nothing....WAH! WAH! WAH! SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!

Deemo Diablo  04/20/08 6:04 am
This is an important topic that I feel needs attention. I believe someone will read my comment and think it is funny or smart. I also post comments because I think the right person will see this one and I will be on TV. Look at me because I'm a winner. A selfish, greedy, pathetic winner with no self esteem or real friends.

et  04/21/08 1:11 pm
eat shit and die mikey mike.get a fucking life

Tony  04/21/08 8:12 pm
All niggers are racist!!!

(funny when you think about it, huh? The inherent irony in the statement, I mean.)

o.O  04/22/08 3:52 am
"You are the son of a bitches in the worse place in the highest positions of goverment."

Is this to T-Shirt Hell, or is it to Bush? If you can actually read that shit, it sounds like Bush.

Floyd  04/22/08 4:09 pm
Nope, I think that Terri Schiavo was resurrected from the grave and convinced she was black, no black bitch who's saying shit that'll make Forrest Gump call her a dumbass mongoloid could really exist... Yeah and civil rights is really something to seriously fight for, HAAHAAA.

And Mikey Mike's a bigger fag than a Catholic priest at a NAMBLA convention!

Slayer  04/23/08 5:39 pm

Ted Danson  05/23/08 8:14 pm
First off, John is clearly right. This is a fake hate mail. However, as far as fake hate mail goes, this is a beautifully crafted work of art. Whoever wrote it is genius.

Second, I don't think there's sufficient grounds to assume the speaker is black. It could easily be a very ignorant, unwittingly racist white person who thinks she is combating racism.

And the comment about historically-black colleges by Pam was one of the stupidest things I've seen in my life. If you went to college Pam, I can practically guarantee the school you attended is worse than the average caliber of all-black colleges. Fucking ignorant.

division of labor

-----Original Message-----

From: Rita B.
Sent: Saturday, April 12, 2008
Subject: new shirt

The new shirt - "Women are like parking spots. They're whores and liars." Is that supposed to be funny? Near as I can tell, there's no punchline. It's just degrades women. I'm no feminazi, but this just seems like andya blatant insult.

Editor's Note: Incorrect. A blatant insult would be "Rita is an ignorant cow and, even more than the Holocaust, she is an example of everything wrong with humanity." You see the difference? The shirt is a new take on a tired joke, and a blatant insult is just someone being offended by the truth.

Comments (30) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Fatsack  04/15/08 9:24 pm
I don't know. It just doesn't seem blatant enough to me.

Brian  04/16/08 12:33 am
I feel bad commenting on this one. After years of reading this newsletter, I'm thrilled there are people out there who know how to use a comma.

Oh, and Rita B? You have to be a feminazi, 'cause you're certainly no femijew. Femijews have a legendary sense of humor and they would totally get that joke. They also own like 65% of TSH.

Why don't you go guzzle a hot load of buckshot and make der Fuhrer proud?

0xymor0n  04/16/08 1:51 am

Jesus takes it in the side  04/16/08 4:02 am
The punch line is, "They're whores and liars." It is referring to women, as well as to parking spots. If your i.q. of 1000^1/2 still renders you incapable of deciphering this highly intellectual statement, then, please, have no more children.

BritArmyGuy  04/16/08 4:29 am
For those of you who don't get the joke - please, allow me to explain... Imagine you see me wearing a shirt that says "Women are like parking slots. They're Whores and Liars." You go up and say to me "Parking spots aren't whores or liars". I say "Oh - and women are?" I think that's funny and fairly clever. Glad I could clear that up for you :P

Mikey Mike  04/16/08 8:50 am
I agree. I don't like women either.

Some guy who left a comment  04/16/08 9:09 am
Erm... No. It's meant to be funny because of an old joke that goes something like "Women are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken or ." Or "All the ones I want are taken etc etc."
So you're expecting some 'clever' comparison between 2 seemingly unrelated things.... But then it's just abuse.
See the editor's note- "The shirt is a new take on a tired joke."

Jessica  04/16/08 11:09 am
I think this shirt is great... the fact that the comparrison of women and parking spots...being Whores and liars...WHAT?? it doesn't even make sense.. AND I LOVE IT!

...I hate it when people take shit too seriously. Take a step back and realize you're NOT a fuckin hero coming to save all of humanity with your loud mouth bitching.

That said... you can't do anything to change it.. find the comedic relief in life, and LAUGH for fucks sake.

Iman Azol  04/16/08 11:47 am
Rita needs some anal sex. It's tighter, hotter and more degrading to the female. HIGH FIVE!

NO I AM MIKEY  04/16/08 2:19 pm

Etherean  04/16/08 5:27 pm
I couldn't help but laugh myself right out of my chair. I'm female and this hate mail just made me want to buy the shirt that much more.

Spuntmire  04/16/08 5:57 pm
Uh... I can see that cow chick's nipples.

Maricely  04/16/08 6:01 pm
haha what a stupid bitch. NO there is no punchline. YES it's insulting women. Jesus how stupid can you be? get over it and go burn your bra somewhere else

RichieRich  04/16/08 7:47 pm
I thought It was Hysfuckinsterical!

Gregor  04/16/08 11:27 pm
HI 5 back at you IMAN AZOL!!! I love the shirt because it's a factual statement! Women are all whores & liars & no i'm not mikey in disguise

juan poe  04/17/08 1:41 am
its not fair to stereotype all parking spots based on the actions of just a few. also comparing parking spots to women is just totally fucked. we all know there is no comparison...... there is parking spots and women who wish they were parking spots.

corange  04/17/08 2:22 am
Cow chick creeps me out. :(

mikey mike  04/17/08 9:15 am
That's ok, you're a liar and a whore.. we don't expect much from you. That's what you wanted, right? Or did you think your email was going to make TSH go.. "oh holy shit.. it IS an insult.. oops.. our bad, have a free tshirt while we remove that one."

e11even~E  04/17/08 12:20 pm
'Tis a funny and original shirt. T-Shirt Hell, your sexist remarks continue to make me chuckle. I just hope all the Christian/Republicans find it as funny as I do. If not, Fuck 'em. Bie bie.

Commenters note: Wonder what shirts will come about with Americas first black prez.?.

Aaron N  04/17/08 4:48 pm
"Women are like parking spots. The good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped."

I can't believe no one has heard that before.

Congrats to "Some guy who left a comment" for almost getting it and to "BritArmyGuy" for trying real hard.

Big Ronny  04/17/08 10:40 pm
So women aren't whores...?

Bill  04/18/08 1:39 am
I happen to be wearing the parking spots t-shirt right now. I can't tell you how many people think it is hilarious, both men and women. So take your indignation somewhere else. Its funny. Now shut up before I park my hummer on your ass.

TJF  04/18/08 6:56 am
Personally, the rationalization BritArmyGuy gave made me laugh, since the thought of catching someone like that is more funny to me that the actual joke(s), though thanks, Aaron N, for posting a/the version the shirt corresponds to. Still, that joke is of the same vein as too many I've heard before, and it's just not... I'll say "witty" enough to maek meh LOLz in either it's original or blatant forms.

However, I would appreciate the sauce of that cow chick.

Mikey Mike  04/18/08 7:05 pm
I'd like to double Cow Chick's entendre!

long tom  04/19/08 11:05 am
the Pope is like a QuickieMart-open 24-7, and slurpees are only a buck. Relevance? None.

Slayer  04/19/08 8:52 pm
Rita B's fucking letter being printed is an insult to me. What a humorless cunt. Let me guess, Rita B. You're a filthy dyke, right? With a mullet haircut and you wear an athletic supporter to give the illusion of having a penis. Very manly. I think Rita B is s a liar, a whore, and a dry cunt. Go fuck yourself, Rita B.!

Femijew  04/21/08 12:38 pm
Before reading these comments I had no name for my condition... I work for a non-profit women's agency and I secretly find shit like this hysterical. I bought that shirt for my boyfriend and I tell wife battering jokes. I'm a femijew and I'm so relieved. Thanks.

Teat puller  04/21/08 8:17 pm
I want to pull her teats!!! Yum ... boobs ... I love boobs. I think women love boobs, too and who could blame them? There are ugly boobs but truthfully playing with even ugly boobs is better than like 95% of the shit guys do during the day. So, in summation: go boobs! And ladies ... let's share the love a little bit, kay? Maybe some more gratuitous flashing. Honestly, it's not like you are going to catch something by showing your boobs and it would absolutely make the flashee's day. Start with me, please. Pretty please?

Donna-For-Brains  04/29/08 1:53 pm
Wow, did you not start liking this site for the offensive shirts? And now you are whining about it. OMG You are a stupid bitch......

Cheesmunkee  04/30/08 10:00 am
I'm a girl and I thought that was some pretty funny shit. I laughed out loud when I read that shirt. It's not supposed to be profound and decent. Do you not realize what site you're on? Keep the crazy shit coming!

does this remind you of your favorite pair of panties?

-----Original Submission-----

From: Chris A.
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2008
Subject: Very upset

Dear Mr. or Ms. Hell,
I recently bought a shirt from your company. I was terribly embarrassed when I went to a party only to find another party patron wearing the same shirt! Naturally I turned a deep shade of red and ran screaming for the door while all those around me pointed and jeered with great veracity. Oh, woe is me, woe is me.

Fortunately, I thought fast: I found a heavy black magic marker in my car and drew a mustache on the cute but indignant cartoon character adoring my marvelous new shirt and rejoined the party, vindicated. In the future please don't sell the same shirt to more than one person in the same state. Thank you for your consideration in this serious matter.

Warmest regards,

Bermuda Mudflap Magnito Jesus Smith

andyEditor's Note: It is currently Ms. Hell, because I'm not wearing my special attachment.

What's this about you defacing a flawless work of art? I understand your need to avoid a potentially embarrassing situation at a party, but there are better ways to go about it. Instead of marking all over the T-shirt equivalent of God, why not just turn it inside out? This makes for an extra bit of fun if you're at a party with a black light, as the Swastika stamped inside all of our shirts will be prominently displayed.

Better yet, why not just go topless? That's what I do when I go to court and the prosecutor is also wearing nipple clamps and chain mail. If you simply must have a humorous phrase or image on your person, just tattoo one of our many shirt designs on your chest.

Yet a third option would be to simply murder and dispose of the body of anyone wearing clothes similar to yours. A word of warning though: This method kept me plenty busy at my most recent Klan rally (I filled their quota).

Comments (19) - View Comments - Add A Comment

SAT word  04/16/08 1:12 am
I love when somebody tries to sound smart by using all their SAT words & totally fucks it up. Veracity means truthfulness. And I'm sure they were telling the truth while they were calling you a douche, but I don't think that's what you meant to say. Goddamn clever motherfuckers. T-Shirt Hell, I'm ashamed of you for encouraging this shit.

My captcha says "WOXZK"  04/16/08 4:14 am
I love when somebody tried to sound smart by pointing out everyone else's misuses of terminology

My captcha deleted my comment  04/16/08 4:16 am
Fucking jews.
*Note: This poster does have anything against Jews, Jiggaboos, or North Koreans

Mikey Mike  04/16/08 9:28 am
This poster only likes to eat buggers from big fat jew noses and hates all the obama luvin coons!!!! Go back to Mexico (Africa is for whites now) ya jibber jivin' tar puppies.

kathleen  04/16/08 10:32 am
why on my computer do your pics always read "Hulk run Fast...Smash" or"andy"?

Iman Azol  04/16/08 11:51 am
I'd only endorse killing someone wearing the same TSH shirt if it was Mikey Mike.

And only after gang ass-raping him with a ball bat wrapped in barbed wire.

NO I AM MIKEY  04/16/08 2:23 pm
SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP *HIGH FIVE* i think i love you Iman U DA MAN , hehe i r whit trash y'all

Your mom  04/16/08 3:06 pm
"whit trash" huh?

KinkyAsYou  04/16/08 4:03 pm
Just want to say that I'm waiting for a cartoon or photo of you on a t-shirt wearing those nipple clamps. Otherwise, just send out photos with your next "thing".

That guy  04/16/08 4:05 pm
Wow i can beleave i just wasted all this time reading this stupid news letter and comments... i realize tshirt hell thinks tere tough shit cuz they make "edgy" tshirts but in reality there just immatuer piss heads looking for some publisity i dont care if mike is real the email is real or what ever it dosent really matter the guys stupid to have emailed them in the first place if he is real... scratch that hes stupid for comeing out of his mothers uterus becuz he cant take a stupid fucking joke... as for t shirt hell... who the fuck writes this newsletter a fucking 10 year old i thought you guys were above shit like this... the upside is that youve sunk low enough to suck my dick

-Fuck you all

Muff Muncher  04/16/08 7:49 pm
I think this is fake. :(

Mikey Mike  04/16/08 9:36 pm
HA! I GOTCHO' ass. Again!

that other guy  04/17/08 7:52 am
@That guy: no to mention the time you wasted by posting your comment!

TJF  04/18/08 7:02 am
This exchange makes me think of two Renaissance-ish swordspeople going up to each other, exchanging insults, salpping each other with their gloves, and yet still considering the other a worthy dueling partner. I think the picture captures the classiness of this affair.

Matt  04/18/08 9:19 am
OMG!!! Chris, you are the biggest fag in the world. What guy in their right mind gets embarassed becasue someone else is weraing the same shirt as him. Good luck getting the corn (read: shit) stain off your mouth.

Mikey Mike  04/18/08 7:11 pm
If you bought my Dog shirt from my new website you could have avoided all the embarrasment!!!

Slayer  04/19/08 9:15 pm
That guy is a fucking jackoff! Learn to spell, you ignorant piece of shit! And while your at it, take the time to fuck yourself, too, dickhole!!!

Chris A., deserves to be shot of modifying that shirt. You probably weren't invited to that party, were you? That probably wasn't the first time you've been embarrassed. When you took it up your ass initially, you shit all over the person performing the act. Your uncle probably had to wash his underwear out in the sink to avoid your parents finding out he was fucking you.

I would have kicked your ass just for being at that party and for being fucking stupid. Maybe your should rethink your approach a bit. If you're nice about it, maybe Ms. Hell would allow you to suck on her 'special attachment' in exchange for a new shirt. Consider it.

StormLord  04/22/08 3:17 pm
Haha yeah, I pretty much only read Imon's comments. They're always the best.

Mary Steenbergen  05/23/08 8:21 pm
Funny premise to the email but terribly executed. Stop trying so hard to be "witty." You just look like a jackass.

And while I'm impressed by the newsletter writer's restraint at not just calling Chris a cunt and threatening to skull fuck him/her, this email was not funny enough to deserve getting away unscathed.

division of labor

[Buy Bi]

Havelock Ellis once said "The absence of flaw in beauty is itself a flaw." Nice try, Havelock, but there's nothing wrong with my vagina.



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