T-Shirt Hell : Newsletter: May 12, 2008

andy
We are happy to announce that we have added more new styles and colors to our already enormous selection. 3 completely new girls styles in 16 colors, a new mens style in 10 colors, and we have extended our line of babydolls with 3 new colors, a new boybeater color, and 4 new colors in our girls casual tees.

We now literally have more styles and colors than you can shake a baby at- and trust me I’ve been shaking babies all morning because I find it hard to believe myself.

The new girls styles are a vintage tee, a vintage ringer, and an American Apparel lightweight hoodie. The new mens style is an American Apparel tee that is super soft, with a more vintage, form fitting look than our standard beefy tee. As always, all of our designs are available in all of our over 100 styles and colors. Check them out on the new shirt page below.

HULK RUN FAST. HULK SMASH!

I hope you all had a happy Mother's Day. I'm sorry to say that for the tenth year in a row I received neither flowers nor a card from any of my children. If they keep this up, I'm never going to take them out of those dumpsters.

Our congratulations to Jenna Bush, who was married last Saturday. The ceremony went off without a hitch, except for some minor injuries after George W. Bush mistakenly threw Condoleezza Rice at the happy couple. [Rimshot]

Barack Obama recently won the Democratic primary in North Carolina and lost by a narrow margin in Indiana, further ensuring that he will win his party's nomination. But Hillary "Take the Goddamn Hint" Clinton refuses to give up. The senator lent her campaign $6.4 million in the past month. Pundits are saying it is all part of her plan to waste an additional $6.4 million.

A cyclone which ravaged Myanmar has claimed thousands of lives, and a U.S. diplomat says the total may exceed 100,000 when all is said and done. To put that in perspective, this disaster is almost one tenth of one percent as devastating as 3,000 Americans dying. (Side note: I don't know what you call people from Myanmar, but I'm going with "Myanmartians")

After two years of seemingly endless bad press following his "couch jumping" incident on Oprah, Tom Cruise made another appearance on her show last week. Maybe I'm the only one who noticed it, but I don't think he helped matters when he took a dump on Oprah's couch and rubbed her face in it while shouting "IT'S ALL FOR YOU, XENU!"

It has been reported that Ryan Seacrest may take over for Larry King in 2009. King's suspenders have become an almost iconic image, but give it time and I'm sure Seacrest's anal beads will be every bit as iconic.

77-year-old Sue Johanson recently ended her run as the host of Oxygen's "Talk Sex." I am deeply saddened by this news. It was refreshing for me to see an old person talk about sex without shouting "STOP!" or "Who let you in my room?"

After six years of delays, jury selection for R. Kelly's child pornography charges began last week. "Fair and speedy trial" indeed. At this point, R. Kelly has probably disposed of roughly 100 urine-soaked training bras.

Being smart enough to get that abortion is no excuse for getting no presents this Mother's Day. If the children you don't have refuse to get you something, treat yourself with any or all of our new shirts.

This group includes the perfect bar/club shirt. Whether you're too shy to strike up a conversation or you just don't want to shout over that shitty techno, this shirt will say everything that needs to be said to a stranger you want to fuck. We also have a shirt that gerbils will find hilarious, but will probably piss off Richard Gere. Last but not least is a shirt which shows us a side of Fred and Barney that not even the Great Gazoo knew about. Check them out.

All of our new shirts are here:

http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/nsn/newshirt_051208_news.htm

And check out TorsoPants.com's new TorsoPants as well:

http://www.torsopants.com/miscpages/ntpn/newtp051408.htm

(warning - if you're not a fan of dry humor, do not go to TorsoPants)

andy The latest installment of the highly popular video game series Grand Theft Auto was recently released to much fanfare. While I personally wasn't that interested, I can understand how people who don't regularly kill whores with baseball bats or run over crackheads in real life would be excited by this.

But while sales of the game were stellar as usual, there was very little uproar regarding GTA IV. No attention-starved politician raising a stink, no money-grubbing televangelist shaking his fist and calling for a boycott, no junkies complaining of negative portrayals of junkies, no nothing.

In the past, there was seemingly an unspoken rule between the video game industry and moral crusaders. The gaming industry pretended to care about exercising their constitutional rights in order to sell their games to you, while religious and political leaders pretended to care about defending your kids from these "smut peddlers" so they could sell their nothing to you. It was perfect. Both sides pretended to care about an issue so they could both get their hands on the only thing any of us care about.

A thousand blood-filled video games later and neither side seems too concerned about the fight anymore. Game makers have realized any overhyped game will move a few hundred thousand units regardless, and the church and government have discovered you'll send in your 10% or give them your vote no matter how incompetent, corrupt or uncaring they may be. Why participate in the fight when you get the trophy anyway?
andy
That said, controversy can still be an effective marketing tool. In an attempt to stir up the proverbial hornet's nest, game makers are upping the insensitivity and producing games that are sure to make your soul cry. Here are some of the upcoming titles.

Tard Hunt (Gun controller required)

Sonic the Back-Alley Abortion Hedgehog

Tom Clancy's U.S. Soldiers with PTSD - Mission: Suicide

Grand Theft Childhood Innocence

Guitar Hero: Sexual Assault with a Shark Edition

Madden '09: The Off-Season (Game consists of raising funds to dodge possession charges and a rape conviction)

Double Penetration Dragon

The Sims: Kill Yourself - I Don't Mean Your Character, I Mean Put an Actual Gun in Your Actual Mouth and Pull the Actual Trigger

andy Race Wars (Note: In this game, only the white race is allowed cheat codes)

Frogger's Wheelchair Challenge

Gay Bash (Only available for Wii, requires special tire iron controller. Actually, you don't need a Wii. Or a TV.)

Super Osama Bros.

Tony Hawk's Shreddin' in Darfur

Halo 4: Master Chief Joins Al Qaeda

Donkey Kong: 9-11 was an Inside Job

Dig Dug: Concentration Camp Edition

World of AIDScraft

Virtua Stillbirth

Mega Man: The Columbine/Virginia Tech Challenge

The Legend of Zelda: Link Shits on the American Flag

HCHCR (Hate Crime Hate Crime Revolution)

Q-Bert: %$&@ Jews!

Comments (13) - View Comments - Add A Comment

zachisevil 05/13/08 11:09 pm

I can't fucking read anything with those scantly clad women next to the text!!!

dave 05/14/08 12:11 am

FINNALLY some video games id actually buy and play

Mustafa 05/14/08 10:00 am

I would happily pay top dollar for everyone of these titles

I.P. Freely 05/14/08 1:29 pm

Don't forget "Snuff Film Fantasy" and "Abortion Alley."

Ihatetshirts 05/14/08 7:20 pm

In regards to the pictures posted next to this article i can safely inform you that the best controller to be used as a sex aid is the small xbox contoller. Don't listen to the people who say it's the wii controller, they are all fanboys.

Iman Azol 05/14/08 11:42 pm

Looking at that, your version of phone sex must be painful.

jecka 05/15/08 11:38 am

i'm so happy, i now have new ideas for naughty photos to send to my boyfriend who is away! oh wait, who is going to hold the camera? any takers?

bAN01TgAZ 05/17/08 11:57 am

Jecka: i'll offer a steady hand...

Only one mind... :p

Jesus Christ 05/17/08 12:39 pm

nintendo64 with rumblepack always got me goin!
Also some games that I like to play include:
Age of Empires-The Nazi generation
Paperboy vs Bus
Dragonball sucking Z
Contra (ban)
and my personal favourite:
Jenga (where you take out a little bit of wood and shove it up the other guys arse)

Slayer 05/19/08 4:49 pm

HCHCR sounds cool. Will it involve wetbacks, niggers, fags, and Jews?

Jenna Bush\'s Hairy Clit 05/20/08 10:39 pm

What? No game where VP Cheney has to walk past 100 microwave ovens all on at once and the objective is to see how far he can go beforer his pacemaker explodes?

Jeff 05/21/08 6:42 pm

please put that picture of a girl with the super nintendo controllers over her special joy orbs, onto a t-shirt. or maybe just send me a larger version of that photograph.... or give me her number, that would be best.... ahhhh yes.

Jake Malicious 05/30/08 9:10 pm

Here you go Jeff, happy fucking birthday.

http://img150.imageshack.us/img150/8255/sneswearsuperfamicomwz8.jpg

-----Original Message-----

From: Bob R.
Sent: Monday, May 05, 2008

You fuckers are sick in the head and will receive your due for some of this crap you think is funny. Remember when it happens.

Editor's Note: Actually, we are already receiving our due. It comes in the form of large amounts of money every single day. I don't know what to do with all this due. I spend as much as I can on porn, drugs, alcohol and wooden shoes, but the more due I spend the more comes in. I'm like "Jesus...enough with all the fucking due already."

But thank you for your warning anyway. Allow me to pass your message along to others. Kids, don't develop a sense of humor and find a way to capitalize on your creativity. Just listen to people like our good buddy Bob here and end up selling sand paintings at a kiosk in the mall. Remember: Your dream can't be crushed if you don't have a dream in the first place.

Comments (14) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Big $$$ 05/13/08 11:52 pm

I have the exact same problem, i found out that some great ways to use it are to use $100 bills for things like wiping ur ass, blowing your nose, lighting cigars with, lighting babies on fire with and then kicking them like little flaming footballs, oh ya and throwing it off a bridge into the river is always fun.

Jason Caldwell 05/14/08 12:05 am

Big $$$ tries to be funny but inadvertently sucks a cock.

Billy 05/14/08 8:25 am

I dont think it was inadvertent, but intentional .. fag

oddjob83 05/14/08 9:54 am

or.. use the money to buy lots of philipino children and have a burning baby football riot of fun! Why do anything if you're not going to do it to excess?

Seán 05/14/08 2:59 pm

Filipino you vaginal itch. I'd like to know how exactly did Bob R. find the site. Did someone send him a link or was he searching for something.

Iman Azol 05/14/08 11:44 pm

Bob R was jerking off to a teenage girl in a chatroom, saw the shirt, came here, and realized he'd been had by a 40 year old virgin in his parents' basement. He feels dirty now.

Deadhead 05/15/08 6:26 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAVVVMcTShQ&feature=related

Filipinos. :)

billythedik 05/15/08 1:12 pm

I've got Erica's Karma, swingin'.

Mister Mxyzptlk 05/16/08 9:27 am

The last comment you made, "Your dream can't be crushed if you don't have a dream in the first place." would make a great t-shirt...

These ideas just flow out of you like cum from Ron Jeremy.

tom h. 05/17/08 10:25 am

you guys are sick in the head. that's why i love your stuff! that gerbils protesting against richard gere is a hoot. i have to get me one.

Big Jim 05/17/08 5:11 pm

I can tell you how Bob found the site. He's the cleanup boy here at "Big Jim's Adult Bookstore & Video". He was obviously looking over my shoulder while I was here instead of mopping up spooge and other bodily excretions. Rest assured, he will pay for his insolence.

Slayer 05/19/08 5:10 pm

Fuck you, Bob R.etard! This dude's all pissed off because he didn't think of it first. Yes, Bob, you dumb fuck, I'm a sick fucker. I'll be thinking of you when I'm sliding my stiff cock in and out of your old lady's ass!!!!

Bill Clinton's Come Stains 05/20/08 10:41 pm

Bob R...are you the fucking asshole who was banging on my door trying to get me to go to church?

steve 06/17/08 9:19 pm

She needs to chill

-----Original Submission-----

From: Erica
Sent: Wednesday, May 07, 2008

You and you're t-shirts DISGUST me! Not one of the messages displayed on your shirts is funny or witty, whatsoever. Cruelty, sexism , racism and discrimination are what you're promoting and earning money off of, THAT'S NOT FUCKING OK! Those messages are hurtful and totally uncalled for. It is immature, idiotic ass holes like yourselves that are responsible for the majority of issues within society.

Trying to be funny about issues that hurt so many people (and animals) and are responsible for so much pain!? It does not get any lower than that. When (and if) you eventually get a life, you'll realize that you are shit just like your shirts. You are low dirty scum and i hope you realize KARMA'S A BITCH!

Editor's Note:This is a new one. I've often been told people like us are responsible for all the problems in society, but this lady has gone one better and claimed we are responsible for all the issues in society. We are no longer just the negative aspect of the issue. We are the issue in and of itself. We no longer make light of or glorify homophobia; we ARE homophobia. We no longer spread racism; we ARE racism. That is quite a burden to bear.

By the way, what's wrong with making money off of cruelty, sexism and discrimination? Those things are all so horrible, shouldn't someone be benefiting from them? The fact that millions of people are suffering goes down a little easier when I'm eating caviar-filled Pop-Tarts on my yacht that was fully financed by their suffering.

Thanks for your email, Karma. Oh, wait...your name is Erica. I got confused because you and karma have so much in common.

Comments (23) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Brendan 05/13/08 10:38 pm

It might not be FUCKING OKAY, but it's definitely FUCKING AWESOME! Oh shit, am I allowed to swear on the internet?

I eat babies 05/13/08 11:55 pm

Your right karma is a bitch..............MY BITCH, ok i got to go now, karma just finished sucking me off so i have some babies I have to shake and some puppies to skin alive

Mike M 05/14/08 10:28 am

America has been making money off of peoples pain and suffering for decades....

Big pile of aborted fetuses 05/14/08 10:32 am

If you can't laugh at cruelty, sexism , racism and discrimination, what can you laugh at?

vince 05/14/08 10:33 am

Stupid liberal cunt

hrt 05/14/08 3:24 pm

hey, watch it, vince. I am a liberal cunt and I totally think this bitch is a moron. Ditto what "big pile of aborted fetuses" said, my feelings exactly.

blah. 05/14/08 3:35 pm

1. the sick and twisted people of society came first. not the shirts.
2. "By the way, what's wrong with making money off of cruelty, sexism and discrimination?" yeah why not? newspapers do it all the time.

Loser 05/14/08 6:32 pm

i think you all read her wrong, her message clearly states:

"cruelty, sexism, racism and discrimination are what you're promoting and earning money off of....THAT'S NOT FUCKING....OK? "

of course it's not FUCKING, it's t-shirts...

anybody else read it the same way? or was it just me??

Iman Azol 05/14/08 11:46 pm

I'll pay $500 for a T shirt with a picture of Erica receiving anal from Tom Cruise while fellating a gopher.

Jenni 05/15/08 8:28 am

Last time I checked, ASSHOLES was ONE word, not two. You apparently need to get laid and find a sense of humor. If you don't like the shirts, don't read them. No one is forcing you to look at them. You probably live in the south and charm fucking snakes and vote for Huckabee anyway, so we don't care what you think.

Dalton 05/15/08 11:19 pm

Hey Jenny with an "i", we all agree that Erica is a stupid bitch...but at least she's not a fucking Yankee cunt like you...do the world a favor: kill yourself.

Hoon 05/16/08 12:00 am

Karma already struck you tshirthell.

Having someone email in admitting their narrow minded stupidity is a reward - you must have done something really good and/or funny!

I wish people would abuse me over email more often... that'd make my day!

awwfuckit 05/16/08 5:37 am

What kind of world would we live in if we couldn't get upset over random shit, we aren't forced to care about, huh? And for the record, typing out "jenny with an i" earns you cool points in my book you hillbilly sister fucker...mad cool points.

Mosworld 05/16/08 7:03 am

She really needs a (Say Yes to Anal) T-Shirt and then send her over to the local bar to be made airtight like a Batman Balloon in a Rose Bowl Parade!!

Mr.Scandinavia 05/16/08 11:26 am

The t-shirts are awesome,and those who don't think so are judgemental, and blind to this kind of humour. and now im gonna spned my weekend smoking weed and fucking sweet sixtheen xD

oprah's couch 05/16/08 7:50 pm

I'd pay $500.00 to anyone who could prove that Tom Cruise has ever fucked anything.

yoSuckit 05/16/08 8:50 pm

Quite a compliment to be at the root of so many societal evils! Well done, TSH! Big checkmark next to Corporate Mission Statement Item #1. And #2: Spin off 2nd company with non-offensive stuff. And #3: Allow gays to marry in California. On a ROLL! Lookie what cash can do...

TROUBLEMAN 05/18/08 2:16 am

Sex, drugs, oh wait, what did I come in here for? Oh yeah t-shirts man! Yeah, great place for some funny shit. Like I always say, "Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be".

KARMA 05/18/08 11:11 am

Hey Erica. Go Fuck yourself! How dare you call me a bitch!!!! Dont go getting me involved in your petty squabbles or i'll come around to your squallid abode & fuck you up the arse with Zeus' lightning bolts!

Slayer 05/19/08 5:15 pm

Erica's a fucking whore. I resent the fact that a mere t shirt can be the scourge of our society. Erica failed to realize that her stupidity and ignorance ARE the reason for the blight that plagues our society. Someone like Erica needs to understand that people have something called free will and that if they decide to wear a fucking shirt that makes fun of a race or some goddamn animal, who the fuck is she to pass judgment? Shut your fucking mouth, Erica! Better yet, come over here and let me blow my karma all over your fucking face, BITCH!!!!!

Bill Clinton's Penis 05/20/08 10:44 pm

Hey Erica..

BLOW ME!

dank one 05/21/08 6:56 pm

Erica is just mad because all the that burlap, feminazi, butch, lesbo wear is chaffing her hairy jungle bushed hemaphrodite man-clit. Hey Erica,
as GG Allin said "go die"

Jake Malicious 05/30/08 9:20 pm

"oprah's couch
I'd pay $500.00 to anyone who could prove that Tom Cruise has ever fucked anything."
Cocks to anyone other than me who gets it.

-----Original Message-----

From: Leah
Sent: Thursday, May 08, 2008

i just received your new email with the new shirts , i had a question about the one with the woman and the two babies talking about anal . im sorry i dont get the reference ? what is the joke ? sorry again and thank you

ps - i love your site , and props to writing such awesome shirts everyday :)

Editor's Note: I'm going to be honest with you. I've been so wasted for the past two months I don't even know what you're talking about. I assume we added some shirt that implies sex in the asshole for a few minutes is a better choice than raising an asshole for 18 years, but that's only a guess.

Even though I don't know which shirt you're talking about, I'm certain that the joke is clear enough and that you're just a fucking idiot. The only question here is what your excuse is. Your hair color? Your gender? Your nationality? Maybe you're the dumbest of all three. That would make you a redheaded female from Turkey. Take that, Adalet Yilmaz!

[Okay, that wasn't much of a hate mail, so here's a topic of discussion for the comments below. Which was funnier: 9-11 or the Crucifixion? Discuss.]

Comments (35) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Dick Belcher 05/13/08 10:42 pm

Although both were hilarious, I never was able to see the expressions of terror/pain on the faces of those who were fucked on 9/11. On the other hand, Jesus has oodles of pictures on myspace of his "big day".
Wow, even in atrocities Islam can't beat Christianity.

Godfiend 05/13/08 10:51 pm

The crucifixion was definitely funnier - it happened 2000 years ago and people still bitch about it.

I KILLED JESUS 05/13/08 11:57 pm

i think the crucifixion was funnier cuz he was a long haired hippy and died slowly.

C fromB 05/14/08 12:15 am

That's just so funny in itself "anal? I don't get it" You are it!

Hadleigh 05/14/08 5:49 am

9/11 was funnier because it was impromptu theatre whereas everyone knew what was going on during the crucifixion so it didn’t have the “Wow I’m part of the comedy” feeling. More just the “Wow that guy’s dying slowly and I’m fucking a goat” sort of feeling.

Figment Image 05/14/08 8:17 am

I gotta say, it's an unfair question. We'll have to see if, in 2000 years, there are still people to make fun of for their devotion to 9/11. If MSCNNBCNW (Even in the future, they won't know what it stands for) runs a "9/11 - 2000 Years Later, a Nation Still Mourns... Again" special, then 9/11 totally wins. If not, the crucifixion wins for lasting comedy greatness

Anfunk 05/14/08 8:45 am

Although both were totally funny, I'd have to give the edge to 9-11. Jesus was faking. He used ketchup and mirrors.

Seán 05/14/08 3:09 pm

911 was so funny the rest of the world is still laughing. The shitty pants terror it caused amongst the fat cowards of uhmerika was hilarious. What a bunch of pig ignorant fucking weasel crook bastards, all burning and dying. Of course now your NSA and other criminals have taken over so it's torture and mayhem all round. Fucking dumb losers, China is laughing at you.

hrt 05/14/08 3:31 pm

Crucifixion by a mile.
I just want to know what shirt it was? I have no idea... .

baraboo 05/14/08 3:34 pm

The funny shirt that "Leah" was referring to was the one that was saying that "anal" is better than the alternative which is to end up making babies and having to raise them. heh, heh.

Brad 05/14/08 4:34 pm

As far as which was funnier; 9/11 or the Crucifixion, they both had extremely comical aspects, but based on 9/11 actually happening and 2500 Americans actually dieing, I would be forced to say 9/11 was much funnier. Virginia Tech, and Oklahoma were both very cleaver and amusing. I have already submitted this idea but can you make a godzilla 'cho, bursting through the twin towers maybe with a swastika and a hand grenade shirt?

IStillHateTShirts 05/14/08 7:29 pm

I have to say that though both are hilarious when set to benny hill music the boxing day tsunami wins outright. the thought that every time i took a piss in the sea i contributed to that still makes me wet myself laughing. In the sea.

Pitcher 05/14/08 9:32 pm

She said thank you for anal. Hey chicky poo, give me your number and I'll be thanking you for anal and you'll be thanking God that I didn't put it in your mouth after I put it in your butt. >)

Doug 05/14/08 10:13 pm

I'm gonna have to go with the crucifixion as being funnier. Mainly because even though thousands of people died on 9-11, and thousands more died from the wars that were caused in reaction to 9-11, the crucifixion was the death of one jew. The death of this one jew lead to the formation of a religion that would eventually lead to the killing of millions of jews. classic

Iman Azol 05/14/08 11:51 pm

Sean missed the point while jerking off on the flag, obviously.

Sep 11 will only be funny if it spawns a religion where priests refuse to have sex except with boys, make some explody type gesture to commemorate the event every time they say "George" and if people believe he walked on water and fed 5000 Muslims.

Of course, if he actually does, I'll like totally worship him and kill hippies in his name, starting with Sean.

Immolation for George!

awwfuckit 05/16/08 5:45 am

9/11 will only be funny until the next terrorist holiday, then we have to print new greeting cards, write new country songs, and you had better hope to hell its not a different ethnic group that attacks us. The logistics for coming up with new racial slurs will be a nightmare all its own. I mean just imagine its Peruvian terrorists, I mean what do you fucking call a Peruvian terrorist??? llama fucker???

tony 05/16/08 10:43 am

9-11 was a republican plot

Old Dead Jew 05/16/08 12:31 pm

It must have been the crucifixion, because the jews stuck around for that one.

Nonny Amous 05/16/08 10:37 pm

One guy croaking, or upwards of 3000 everyday schmucks who've provoked nothing of their attackers getting incinerated, plummeted and crushed to death?

9/11 WINS

Cruise a fiction 05/17/08 5:03 am

Gets nailed for the first time and takes three days to recover - that's not funny, that's a Judd Apatow film

Jesus Christ 05/17/08 12:49 pm

9-11 was funnier coz it happened to some one else.

I had to get a tetanus shot after those nails. I think they were rusty.
Do you know how long I had to wait for a tetanus shot?
Fuck you guys, It wasn't fuckin funny!

Erika 05/17/08 6:10 pm

I don't get it. What's funny about calling emergency services?

Jewey McJewerson 05/17/08 7:06 pm

9-11 Hands down. It always warms my heart (as well as the hearts of those in the towers) to see one of those dirty diaperheads kill themselves, much less several at a time. Plus we have some pretty cool footage of the impact. BOOM!! Now thats's funny. It was so funny when the second plane hit I actually blew milk out my nose, and I wasn't even drinking milk at the time.

Slayer 05/19/08 5:37 pm

I'm not sure. I think both of them were funny. The Jews deliberately and intentionally killed their King and our Messiah. What kind of race kills their own King sent from God, eh? 9/11 was pretty funny because muslims were stupid enough to kill themselves after their applications for visas was rejected and the threat of deportation loomed. Fucking islamic fags! At least, the wetbacks, when they're rejected, they just stay here and teach themselves to speak broken English and then, take the test again. But, muslims and wetbacks are one in the same, aren't they?

It's a fucking toss up!

Informed 05/20/08 2:29 pm

What happened on September 11th?

The Reverends Pat Fallwell & Jerry Robertson 05/20/08 10:48 pm

The Crucifixion by a mile. We're laughin' all the way to the bank!

Falling 05/21/08 6:31 am

(-11 wins by a mile because I was able to actually watch the second plane hit on the news, then there were the people jumping out of the builings. Hilarity ensues.
Best t.v. EVER!

Decon Stan, Jesus man 05/23/08 6:27 pm

i'm goino with the hidden third option.....GO HOLOCAUST!!!!

Decon Stan, Jesus Man 05/23/08 6:38 pm

*going*

evil_ariel 05/24/08 11:56 am

The crucifixion. Hands down. My pants.

giblets 05/28/08 4:00 pm

2500 americans died in 9/11 and only one jew died in the crucifiction. Also, another 3000 americans died in the war following 9/11. So, even if a jew dying is 10 times funnier than an american, 9/11 was still 550 times funnier than the crucifiction

Steve 05/28/08 4:09 pm

Err, crucifixion of course... what could be funnier than hammering nails into a jew?

and whats so fucking special about the 9th of november anyway?

Mabus 05/29/08 12:54 pm

You people are actually retarded....
I literally scrolled down on the home page for like 5 secs and found the t-shirt...
here for the scrolling impaired
http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=1048

Jake Malicious 05/30/08 9:21 pm

9/11

Because it actually happened.

junkmale 06/19/08 8:51 am

I'd already been laughing before I got to see the 2nd plane hit live on telly.
The realization that the 1st one hadn't been an accident had tears rolling down my cheeks.
I knew it must have been an inside job & got to see just how funny it was.
If I'd been watching the crucifixion, I may not have been aware of the humerous implications.

I think we need to wait for Monty Python's Life of Silverman to be released to judge properly.

does this remind you of your favorite pair of panties?

-----Original Submission-----

From: sinister
Sent: Saturday, May 10, 2008

You are GAY like all your work...

Editor's Note: You couldn't be more wrong. Our work is only slightly gay, whereas I am astoundingly gay. On the gayness scale from one to ten (one being a guy wearing a fanny-pack and ten being Richard Simmons making out with a mutant creature made of 50 cocks), I would say I rate a solid twelve.

Having said that, I don't know if this is hate mail or not. This could mean "gay" as in "lame." But it could also simply be stating a fact. Kind of like when people say "You are racist assholes and you're going to burn in hell." Thanks. And fish live in water and people in wheelchairs are funny.

Comments (16) - View Comments - Add A Comment

el diablo blanco 05/13/08 11:59 pm

riding ppl in wheelchairs is fun, but it's even more fun to push them down long flights of stairs

el blanco nino 05/14/08 8:48 am

Sometimes I like to push people out of their wheelchair into a rack of CDs and scream "WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING SHITPANTS!!" Handicapped don't wipe properly.

I > U 05/14/08 9:30 pm

You know ... when will people learn that if they want to be taken seriously they should at least write at a middle school level? You guys should start a competition to find out which of these tards that send you hate mail has the worst penmanship and send the winner a free coupon for Hooked on Phonics or something.

Malinda 05/14/08 10:52 pm

Err, penmanship is writing something by hand. I'd love to see how we can compare penmanship by email, sans scanning.

And Hooked on Phonics helps you read, not improve penmanship. Or grammer. Or typing.

But people are tards, I'll give ya that.

thedevil 05/15/08 1:25 am

ACTUALLY Hooked on Phonics teaches grammar first. Believe me I was on the program for 13 years

Coop 05/15/08 1:53 pm

Malinda......If you are a woman, will you marry me?

vimake 05/15/08 4:02 pm

gay means happy and happy means gay! and you're all gay. not in the happy way.

cor 05/15/08 11:59 pm

What about a t "Card carrying member of the shirt lifters association" since you’re so gay!
Yours in sodomy
A big girly fag!

Bob 05/16/08 4:16 am

People in wheelchairs are not funny. I know this for a fact--I got booed off the stage on Open Mic Night at the local comedy club.

awwfuckit 05/16/08 5:29 am

well, douche to to you for going to an open mic night...fag. Hooked on Phonics is for people that are stupid and want to sound smart, sort of like a Phd.

Ronald McDonald 05/17/08 12:51 pm

HEY! That's my brother!

Angus McShagnasty 05/17/08 7:20 pm

Hooked on Phonics is designed to teach little Hood Rats and Porch Monkeys how to rhyme so they can grow up to be rappers and get off welfare.

Cupcake 05/18/08 1:39 pm

Richard Simmons -- gay?!!?!!!!

Slayer 05/19/08 6:13 pm

Bob got booed off the stage at a local comedy club?!?!? That's fucking funny! Open mic night?!!?!?! Oh, shit!!! That's even fucking funnier!!!!

Bob, you suck! Hahahahahahahaha!!!

I think people in wheelchairs are funny. Almost as funny as Bob getting booed off the stage at Open Mic night!!!

Walter Cronkite 05/28/08 1:27 pm

Do you guys really think you're edgy/funny when you make shitty comments about people in wheelchairs, the crucifixion, the holocaust, black people, whatever? I mean, "And fish live in water and people in wheelchairs are funny" is funny, the shit you guys respond with is just fucking pathetic. Wow you made a totally unoriginal racist bash. We're all laughing?

I guarantee that the person who writes the Newsletter doesn't even think half the stuff "she" says is funny, but he/she does because you people reading it are retarded. Sometimes there are gems, but most of the time it's just a competition to see how outrageous(ly predictable) he/she can be.

Seriously. Find some humor that's more challenging than "I just told that guy to get raped by a midget with 20 dicks while being stabbed in the eyes with AIDS needles! HAHAHAHA!"

Jesus (can't hear me. He's dead.)

Walter Cronkite 05/30/08 9:34 pm

Eh, nevermind anything I might have said when I was still dazed from my hourly anal reaming by well-endowed chipmunks high on South Dakota tree sap. I always am more than a little cranky when someone in a wheelchair outraces me to my mailbox since its on a downward slope. I think. Wait, that just might be the antidepressants wearing off. Shit! Where's the goddamn water!? Sorry about that, sometimes my inner child isn't drowning in its own sperm and sauerkraut sandwich and becomes highly annoyed- uh oh, it took me 45 minutes write just this, time to break out the astro-glide. Get over here, Chipperemy and Munky Nuts! Come get some!

[The End - Resume Your Paint-Huffing]

Familiarity breeds contempt. You hear that, Canada?

Peace