picture 1It’s true that Twitter used to suck.  Who wanted to see Shaq’s latest link to his homemade snuff porn?  Who cares if Ashton has Demi squatting over a firehose so there’s a whisper of moisture in her desiccated 60 year old sabertooth cougar snatch?

Lucky for you, Twitter is now going to suck a little less.  Sunshine Megatron, the creator of T-Shirt Hell, has started a twitter account.  If you want to know what an actual rich asshole is like instead of reading some bullshit by someone’s assistant, or some douche from marketing; this is the Twitter account for you.

Plus, there will be plenty of T-Shirt Hell giveaways for twitterers only. And we’re not just giving away free shirts or coupons, Sunshine is going to give away cash, bottles of Cristal, sex and who knows what else. Follow the only real T-Shirt Hell/Sunshine Megatron twitter account at:

long division



So... Farrah Fawcett dead yet? No? How about Patrick Swayze? Well damn it; who am I supposed to make an uncalled-for joke about? Let's see... Oh, the guy who voiced Mickey Mouse for the past 30 years just died. His last words were "Abadee abadee that's all folks!" Yeah, I know, wrong character. That's the best I can do until someone you've heard of dies.*

*Note: If Farrah Fawcett or Patrick Swayze die by the time you read this I apologize. Not for being insensitive, but for the lousy timing.

Anyway, congratulations to all the recent graduates out there. It was a long, hard journey to get to this point, but you managed to make it out before all U.S. schools turned into slave labor camps run by whip-wielding Chinamen. But seriously, enjoy being served up for slaughter by a hulking retard covered with spikes in the Thunderdome. I'm gonna go kill myself.

President Obama's credit card reform bill was recently passed by the House and Senate. I've been waiting for proof and now I have it: Obama is a racist. Why else we he only be looking to reform the way white people pay for things? You don't see him going after shoplifting reform or blowjob-for-crack reform. Wake up, people!

Obama is also pushing for stricter fuel efficiency standards, which would require new cars to improve fuel economy by 30% by 2016. I hope this doesn't affect the number of midgets I use to pull me around by dogsled. Any less than 12 and I hardly get any mileage out of them at all.

Phil Mickelson recently quit the PGA tour when he found out his wife had developed cancer. Meanwhile, Tiger Woods' wife is still superhot and cancer-free. You hear that, Phil? Tiger's wife is really attractive and her cell structure is just fine. Also, when he makes it to the clubhouse before you, Tiger pees in your coffee. He owns your life, Phil. He owns you.

Jay Leno is ending his 17-year run as host of the Tonight Show this week. That's gotta be some kind of record. I mean, 17 years in the entertainment industry without ever being entertaining... That is impressive. Anyway, good luck to Conan O'Brien -- You've got big shoes and a huge uncomfortable silence to fill. (P.S. - Fuck Jay Leno)

long division


picture 1

If you've been reading this newsletter regularly for far too long, you may remember a collection of light bulb jokes I did a while back. The reaction was overwhelmingly nonexistent. And since I take indifference as a form of praise, I decided to wait nearly a year to pique interest and try it again.

This time I went with "__ walks into a bar" jokes. It's a proven formula that has delighted drunk assholes and racists for decades - the perfect antidote to today's hip/ironic humor, which consists mainly of unshaven stoners talking about Q-Bert. Feel free to memorize these and share them with your friends. They're sure to make you the awkward silence of the party.

A retard walks into a bar. I guess you had to be there.

President Obama walks into a bar. Everyone applauds. He sits on a stool. Everyone applauds. He orders a beer. Everyone applauds. He says "Shut the fuck up, you sheep! None of this matters!" Everyone applauds. Then he rips off his face and reveals that the president has been nothing but a cyborg who changes his mask every few years ever since Kennedy died. The bar patrons realize freedom of choice has been nothing but an illusion their entire lives. They're fine with that and decide to vote for an Asian mask in 2012.

A hipster walks into a bar. He orders a beer ironically. He tells the bartender his troubles ironically. He picks up a cute girl ironically and goes home and fucks her ironically. The next day he wonders if he ever does anything he genuinely enjoys. Then he blows out his brains. Ironically.

picture 1Miley Cyrus walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face? Oh, I'm sorry - Did I say long face? I meant 'face that looks like a retarded girl suffering from a peanut allergy'."

A conservative and a liberal walk into a bar. The bartender says "You can have a beer in a blue glass or a red glass. They're exactly the same, but you fucking idiots will swear one is better than the other. What, the world doesn't put you into a box often enough; you have to willingly put yourself in a box too? Damn it! Why do I keep serving symbolism!"

A fat guy walks into a bar. Again, I guess you had to be there.

A Mexican walks into a bar. He gets himself and his cousins hired on as bartenders, putting the other bartenders out of work. Then his wife has like nine kids in the bar. Goddamn it... This used to be a really nice bar.

A black guy walks into a bar. Every other person in the bar stops saying that thing they were about to say.

picture 1A gay guy walks into a regular bar. For the first time in ten years he enjoys a beer because he isn't surrounded by obnoxious queens or religious fanatics handing out pamphlets. He thinks 'If I didn't have to fuck vaginas, I could totally be straight.'

A homeless guy walks into a bar. He starts telling everyone secrets about the government right before people start making him dance for quarters. Everyone in the room has lost a little bit of their humanity this night. Then the homeless guy starts eating the shrimp people are throwing in his beard. Homeless people are funny.

Six million really old Jews walk into a bar and one of them says "We went hiking and got lost for a really long time. I hope no one jumped to any crazy conclusions about us."

A Christian walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets down nothing. The Christian says "Where's my beer?" The bartender answers "Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there." The Christian replies "You've made your point; give me my beer." The bartender shoots back "You have your beer. I don't care how much proof you show me to the contrary, I will always think there's a beer there." The Christian responds "I fucking get it! Just give me my beer so I can go home and beat my wife!"

picture 1A little boy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a Catholic Priest. "Catholic Priest?" says the bartender. "What kind of drink is that?" "Simple," says the boy. "That's the drink I have to force down my throat and never tell my parents about." [rimshot here]

A Catholic priest walks into a bar and orders a Choir Boy. The bartender says "A Choir Boy? What kind of drink is that?" "Simple," says the priest, "that's the drink I force fingers into until it bleeds and cries. Get it? Because of the molestation thing? I can't believe we're still in business."

A Muslim walks into a bar and the whole place blows up before something funny can happen.

A guy in a wheelchair doesn't walk into a bar.

Comments (38) - View Comments - Add A Comment

lavey666  05/25/09 1:08 am
Brilliant religious humor -- you're the best!

Mndjoy  05/25/09 1:26 am
Fucking awesome!

celestialynn  05/25/09 5:13 am
a nigger, a spic, and a respectable white man walk into a bar..

Scott  05/25/09 7:56 am
Should of stuck with the light bulbs.....(yawn)

andy  05/25/09 9:48 am
ur nuts & i love ya

MoonBatt  05/25/09 10:34 am
You had me at "Miley Cyrus."

Loser  05/25/09 12:57 pm
how long before your catholic jokes get used on satellite radio or the tonight show?!

cesium_133  05/25/09 1:38 pm
Miley Cyrus walks into a bar and causes about 10 million 7-year-old girls to go to the local package store and buy a fifth of Jack. They all do a line of shots and keel over unconscious. Miley goes to see some of them. Actually, she puts on concerts in the waiting rooms of numerous 24-hour emergency care clinics while the med school-dropout "docs" do background vocals. Parents gladly pay $3,000 a seat to see her perform, forgetting why they went there in the first place as their daughters succumb to alcohol poisoning.

Denise  05/25/09 2:14 pm
Fuckin brilliant.

JJ Abrams  05/25/09 2:51 pm
Sunshine Megaton walks into regular bar to meet with President Obama. He stops next to a fat guy drinking from a a red glass and says that thing that every other person in the bar was about to say but didn't. He spots Miley Cyrus and offers to buy her a drink but the bartender is busy arguing with a Mexican kid about an invisible beer. In the meantime a homeless man is causing a ruckus so Miley and Sunshine take this opportunity to slip into the restroom together. They happen across an unattended wheelchair in front of a closed stall and start to get all ironic in it when the whole place blows up.

CHRISSIE  05/25/09 3:39 pm

harkin  05/25/09 7:32 pm
Nancy Pelosi walks into a bar, then blames the bar.

Barack Obama  05/25/09 8:06 pm
Hey dweebsie! Good round of bar jokes. You didn't have any about my IRS friends--you know, my homies... the original American terrorists. Anyway, good muslimatic joke.

Iman Azol  05/25/09 9:27 pm
Two Irishmen walk out of a bar

....yeah, right.

A spic, a nigger, two Jews and a priest walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? A fucking joke?"

And twitter is for twits, Megatron, you fucking pansy sellout.

Urstin  05/25/09 11:43 pm
HAHAHA! I love these!

Natalie  05/25/09 11:56 pm
Thank you. Now I have many humourous jokes to tell to my gay, retarded, black, Miley-fan friends.

[email protected] "retarded girl with a peanut allergy". Oh, Sunshine! sigh...

Georgie  05/26/09 5:14 am
"A guy in a wheelchair doesn't walk into a bar"

Haha! That should be a t-shirt x

rudebi  05/26/09 10:20 am
fuck you tee hell and by that I fuck you

J-dizzle  05/26/09 11:01 am
The miley joke made me want to masturbate, not because she is hot, or retared, but I like girls with no self esteem at the bar, it makes for an easy kill. And thanks, I was eating cheerios when I read this and had to clean them out of my nostrils after the Black guy joke, Black men are funny, and even funnier when the are the Pres. Fucking retard

ken  05/26/09 12:45 pm
This should be on a shirt ... lmao A Muslim walks into a bar and the whole place blows up before something funny can happen!!!

James  05/26/09 2:02 pm
If proests go to hell for having sex. Why did they pick young boys as sex partners? I mean if you are going to Hell for it, make it still. Steal money from the collection plate & date hyookers. Have hot & cold running strippers 24 hours a day. Get the cute chick that confesses she loves sex. Fuck her Mom too!

Jessica  05/26/09 2:28 pm
you're a fuckin genius. but then again, i'm sure you ripped most of these off of the midgets that pull you around all day

Mia  05/26/09 2:50 pm
You are a funny mother fucker. Love all the jokes, but the mexican, and christian joke I will defiantely use again. Keep being the lovable degenerate we have come to hate and despise equally...psst: Abortions really do tickle.

picosan  05/26/09 7:22 pm
Did you hear the one about the baby seal that walked into a club?!?

keith  05/26/09 8:35 pm
a guy walks into a gay bar... nevermind, you were there

becky  05/26/09 8:47 pm
The Mexican, Jew and Christian bar jokes are hilarious!

becky  05/26/09 8:48 pm
And the black one LOL

Whisky Nick  05/26/09 10:37 pm
An Irish guy walks out of a bar.

Seddah  05/27/09 4:57 am
Oh good god, the Jews one and the last one were pure fucking hilarity XD

Death Magnetic  05/27/09 6:50 pm
Mexicans in a bar?!?!? Really?

Lucky  05/28/09 2:55 pm
Sunshine Megatron, you are a mother fucking lameass piece of shit stupid idiotic sell out pussie mother fucker for buying in to that Twitter bullshit!!!! You WERE my hero.... but now I hate you!!!!! You fucking sell out!!! I'd been thinking that facebook and myspace were lame, but Twitter topped lameness on a whole new level, then YOU of all people bought in to that bull shit! I couldn't believe it!! Don't you stand for anything? I suppose not. Guess I will find a new hero. Oh, and I liked you jokes.

Gina  05/29/09 11:40 am
Oh my gosh, those are hilarious!!!

knock, knock  05/29/09 6:47 pm
Hey, Get Farrah 'Faucet' one of those "I've eaten more pussy than cervical cancer!" T-shirts before she she croaks! Whoops ... wrong hole! How about "Anal cancer is for assholes!"? Does this mean Ryan O'Neal has cancer of his dip-stick? Or his dick-tip?

Anay  05/30/09 12:21 am
This is sooo riduculous, I was laughing harder with each one. LOL WOW

ShitOnAStick  05/30/09 3:53 pm
Wow those are uhhh very whats that word i am tryin to think of..? Oh ya funny

vert_Ramp  06/05/09 4:14 pm
i won't say the "t" word. i call them twats. and people who use it are twatters

Rob Bass  06/10/09 12:38 am
Niggers, Spics and "Jews"? I think you mean "Kikes." Must be hard to spell 'cause t-shirt hell has NEVER EVER had a shirt with "KIKES" written on it. Interesting. Certainly not any kind of conspiracy....nope.

Epileptic Shit-Head  06/13/09 9:40 pm
A 18 year old hussie is led into the Bar by me. I get her drunk, and then I take her home and Fuck her Un-conscious body... . . ..


-----Original Message-----

From: Thomas

I suspect the people that wear your stupid shirts also go to county fairs. Thanks for promoting ignorance and hate. Idiots.

9/11 was an inside job...

Editor's Note: And what exactly is wrong with going to county fairs? I contend that if you're in the right frame of mind, attending a county fair is the cultural equivalent of a trip to the Louvre. In fact, I dare to say that it is superior. Watching a four-toothed carnie taunt a little boy wearing thrift store clothes while his 400 lb. mother stands by eating fried cheese says more about the human condition than all of Monet's pretty colors could ever hope to.

And while I can't deny that we promote hate (I'm pretty sure our mission statement is "Hate and fellatio"), I will say that it is quite impossible to promote ignorance. Ignorance is a lack of awareness, so the moment you try to promote it you've defeated the purpose. If anything, we promote knowledge. You know, the knowledge that minorities and women are inferior and, therefore, hilarious.

So go fuck yourself you... I wanna say "faggot" but that doesn't seem gay enough. I think you'd like to date a six-foot-tall cock that has a regular size cock where it would be on a dude, so it can fuck you in the ass, but even when all you're doing is making out with it you can still be hugging a huge cock. Also, the mouth it uses to kiss you contains another cock instead of a tongue. Okay, this insult kind of derailed a few miles back. Just go fuck yourself.

Comments (17) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Mrs. Butler  05/25/09 2:03 am
omg i fuckin love it.... the giant cock with a cock and a cock for a tongue... A+++ was laughin at this for

Nolan  05/25/09 8:08 am
My fav comment to date!! .. very original!!

Angus McShagnasty  05/25/09 11:12 am
Of course if you don't have the money for admission, you can always go to Wal-Mart and see the same sideshow freaks and retards. Not to mention the customers.

cesium_133  05/25/09 1:45 pm
I don't go to fairs. I would rather go to the Louvre, actually, and see a bunch of work by a few good artists and a lot of lousy ones while stinking, disgusting French people milled about so I could yell insults at them. County fairs are for kids in thrift shop clothes and 400-lb. mothers... no wait, SM already made that point. Concur...

Gilbert  05/25/09 6:43 pm
Everytime i get an email from your company I have to sit and read about all the close minded fucks in the world. Being a fan of your site, I love every product you have. If people cant take a fucking joke then i guess they don't deserve to live. I myself find humor in everything in the world and don't see anything wrong with it. I have no religious beliefs or no political views. As far as I am concerned life is too short to care about shit like that! Keep doing what you are doing and keep doing it well!

BibleBelievers  05/26/09 3:46 am
1. Mrs. Butler: I was "LOLING" also (or too).
2. Nolan: Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. Angus: The irony is too easy.
4. cesium: Cum bucket
5. Gilbert: Cum bucket & Lazy. We are glad that you have no religious or political might ruin the curve...preciate' it bud!!!

GARY  05/26/09 11:53 am
Build a bridge, and get over it. They're just jokes. If you can't laugh at yourself, someone else is going to do it for you.

Hunter  05/26/09 6:52 pm
LOL.. that's the funniest shit I've read in a long time.

Douchey McDouche  05/26/09 9:22 pm
BibleBelievers: Wait... so your entire comment has the sole purpose of giving your opinion on other comments and to give other people shit about making comments about their opinions? Can you smell the irony, asswad? WTF makes you think anyone gives a shit about your critique of their comments? Die now, before you reproduce.

KR3PER  05/27/09 1:16 pm
That is great shit!!!

Casey Joshua Minns  05/27/09 1:16 pm
ive never, in my entire 18 years of life seen somebody shot down and fucked over that badly.. you are nothing short of a genius and a modern day tshirt designing version of shakespeare. you own the english language

Terd Fergusen  05/27/09 1:54 pm
Don't forget- there are lots of sheep at county fairs, and sheep are BEAUTIFUL animals!

Death Magnetic  05/27/09 6:57 pm
What a bigoted asshole! I've been to a couple of country fairs, but I've never seen anyone wearing these shirts at 'em, except me! :P

The7thSon  05/28/09 9:24 am
Just remember, Terd...baaaaa means no.

Lucky  05/28/09 4:00 pm
I try to promote ignorance where I go.... and Thomas, you fucking asshole... get a damn sense of humor!!

Nimrod  05/31/09 10:00 pm
Fuck you, baaa doesnt mean no......oh wait that is the sheep, lol, cows on the other hand..

Tit-Rapist  06/13/09 9:44 pm
Thomas is such a Gay name.....there is this Family that live across the street....I call them the Flanders....they're MEGA Bible-Bashers.....They have a Son named Thomas and he's never had sex in his life.....Except with.....oh I say it?..........Look, I've seen him on his front lawn at night with a Crucifix up his Ass.....HAPPY NOW!?!?!?

joy division

-----Original Message-----

From: Mother of an SBS Survivor

MY daughter's life long struggle isn't so comical to me as it is to you. Maybe you should use your store for awareness rather than promoting the shaking and killing of babies.

Editor's Note: Well maybe YOU should get a sense of humor. Do you really think your daughter wants you to be sad about her condition? I'm sure if she could do anything other than lay there and drool, the first thing she would do is tell you to laugh at her.

I happen to speak "shaken-baby-anese," so let me ask your daughter for you. Let's see... that was "gurgle - gurgle - chew on arm - slam head against coffee table - gurgle - yelp sound." I believe that translates to "Get the fuck over yourself, mom. I enjoy making people feel awkward in public. Now pour some applesauce on my head."

And while I can't speak for everyone at the company, I personally don't want to promote the killing of babies. I suppose they do die as a result of sling-shotting them into mine fields, but that's for entertainment. It's not like I want to kill them for the sake of killing them.

Besides, even if all we do is make insensitive jokes, that's a form of raising awareness. Like if I say you're a dumb bitch and I hope you die a slow and painful death from breast cancer, I may have just reminded all the ladies out there to check for lumps. Although I hope none of them do, because I like it when women die of breast cancer. Am I joking? It's just so hard to tell when you're a stupid cunt.

Comments (22) - View Comments - Add A Comment

kat  05/25/09 1:39 am
maybe she should not shake babies if she thinks its going to kill the joke. some things are sacred...

Luggruff  05/25/09 7:27 am
Of course it's not comical for her, it's supposed to be for us, about her. Right? Did I get it? It's like.. she shook her baby, and now it's not so funny anymore? Hahahaha.. now how to stop laughing?! Help, please ):

k  05/25/09 11:01 am
that still made me check for breast cancer

Angus McShagnasty  05/25/09 11:20 am
I wonder if the kittens get "Shaken Kitten Syndrome" when I juggle them? Cats are so stupid it would be hard to tell a shaken one from a normal one.

Devildog2033  05/25/09 11:52 am
What the fuck? Some bitch shakes her kid (or sits idly by while her drunk boyfriend does it) and then lectures someone else? Sunshine, you need to start including these jackhole's email addresses when they write stupid shit like that so the rest of us can taunt their ignorance as well.

Crazydad  05/25/09 1:34 pm
SBS is a myth. Your kid is a retard.

cesium_133  05/25/09 1:51 pm
So the kid crapped in his pants one too many times and had to get some tough love. So what? I used to have my head put in a car compactor when I pissed myself. It left no permanent damage. I can hobble and babble and be tube-fed very easily, shake you very much...

TB  05/25/09 7:31 pm
Um... Am I wrong, or is this bimbo giving you greif because... SHE SHOOK HER BABY!!!!! Or because she hired a .25 an hour mexican babysitter to do it for her??? WOW... Biggest dooshbag comment I've seen on here in a while... I need some new shirts SM... ENTERTAIN ME BITCH!!!!!!!

Stack  05/25/09 8:03 pm
I just had sex with a woman that was 8 months pregnant last night... That kid is certainly going to have SBS... Should this shirt offend me? BTW thanks for promoting tit cancer awareness. I don't have any lumps.

Calculated Risk  05/25/09 8:36 pm
Forgive my intrusion... but this is for "Mother of an SBS Survivor".... weren't *YOU* the one that shook your damn baby, in the first place? Then, you have absolutely *NO* right to get offended, and furthermore, you should kill yourself, since this country's fucked up justice system is too pussy to do it themselves!
If you weren't the one that shook your baby, and the one that did it is still alive, you should still kill yourself for not having the stones to pop someone in the head for almost murdering your child.
Either way... have a nice day... and kill yourself, before bedtime.

travel guy  05/26/09 10:32 am
its things like this that get me thru my day!!! Thank you TSH!!!

DoucheBag  05/26/09 3:02 pm
This mom needs to understand that SHE is the one who has done a bang up job of raising awareness: with one furious bout of shaking, others are now aware of the problem. Now that we have awareness, the field is open for good jokes (but this site will pass on those and opt instead for the obvious and crude ones).

Void Where Prohibited  05/26/09 5:28 pm
What's wrong with shaking your baby? I mean how else are you suppose to shut them up?

p-dawg  05/26/09 8:51 pm
so the shirt about autism kids is so horrible because jonas has a son with autism but the shirts about retards is ok cuz their son isn't retarded? wtf? either you complain about them all or you don't complain at all.

Sindo Calypso  05/27/09 10:04 am
I totally agree with Devildog... fuck her, man. Maybe someone should shake HER. Then we can all laugh at her.

Black Dog  05/27/09 4:24 pm
I'm with Devildog - let the taunting begin! Dumbass bitches like her should not be allowed to reproduce in the first place. Next time she shakes a baby - can I watch? Just saying! BTW my tits are also lump free.

Rob  05/27/09 6:55 pm
You need to make a shirt about this dumb bitch, and put her real picture on it, so we can all shake her when we see that dip shit out in public. ...WHAT A USELESS PERSON THIS CHICK IS

Death Magnetic  05/27/09 7:09 pm
Shaken Baby Syndrome? I didn't know this was a serious problem. Please inform me the next time this phenom occurs so I, too, can laugh!!!

Lucky  05/28/09 4:14 pm
What I would like to know is... how does someone who is clearly a lame ass idiot with no sense of humor end up on a website like T-Shirt Hell? I mean if you really don't think this kind of shit is funny... why are you reading it then? I agree with everyone that she should go kill herself, or fuck herself. Doesn't matter either way.

bugsike  05/31/09 2:21 pm
oops. I thought it was "Shaven Biscuit Syndrome". I'll buy the shirts that says "Check my tits for lumps"

Nimrod  05/31/09 9:50 pm
Sooo.....she beat her kid, maybe trying to kill and failed. It lived and know the cunt is mad at someone else!?! Holy hell, I wish stupidity was painfully.
Anyways about not killing babies for fun, who was the guy in england that made a book on it!?! Eatting the kids and using there skin for clothing, around 1700's I believe. He made it as a joke.....maybe, but for some reason no one though it was funny.

Smoking Causes Coolness  06/13/09 9:36 pm
SBS is a multi-cultural Television Channel in Australia. Everytime I switch on that channel I go outside and kick a Muslim Woman. I just added that in for stupidity. Seriously though, my Ex-Girlfriend lets guys fuck her in the Ass now. How come I never got any?

division of labor

-----Original Message-----

Jonas O.

I am a huge fan of any alternative fashions and pushing the edge. I have never been as politically correct as many of my peers, friends, family or co-workers. Me and my friends are fans of your site and products but I would like to mention that your company did finally hit me hard with your "Autism Kids Rock" shirt.

I realize losing one fan/customer maynot hurt you but being an active advocate for autism here in my community and having an autistic son my only option is to cease from visiting your website in the future.

I find many of you shirts humorous but Im afraid this design in particular not only insults my efforts to raise awareness but all the others around the world who work endlessly to help put a stop to this epidemic. I wish you and your company the best.

Editor's Note: Unlike most hate mail we receive, this was well-reasoned and you didn't reduce yourself to a babbling, oversensitive child. I both respect and understand your position.

If more people responded in this fashion to a shirt they found objectionable, discourse on the internet would be far more valuable and perhaps inspire more intelligent debate. No overreaction, no childish name-calling, no extraneous exclamation marks or unnecessary use of caps lock; just a concise and clear expression of your feelings.

I salute you, Jonas. You are an asset to your community and to the internet.

P.S. - I hope your son dies and goes to Retard Hell.

Comments (38) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Jon  05/25/09 1:09 am
See, what people never realize is that this DOES raise awareness to anything the shirt talks about. Without being aware of what the shirt is about, no one would get the joke or buy the shirt.

So Jonas should be thanking you for raising awareness, not shunning you for making a joke

Just a Marine's persepective on this

Devon  05/25/09 2:05 am
I'm sorry, I read this letter and felt the need to mention this. Jonas here mentioned that he liked most/all of the other shirts on the site. So, basically, he's saying that it's ok to make fun of anything unless it's prudent to him. You certainly may Arrest Black Babies, but as soon as Autism comes up it's not funny? Seems a little odd. I, personally, think Autism is hilarious.

dOOmShrOOm  05/25/09 2:46 am
If laugh at one t-shirt then god dammit you better laugh at them all. The guy gave the website props but was offended by autism of all things. His son could have had far worse problems than autism by the way his logic works (or doesn't rather).

Satan  05/25/09 6:11 am
Dear TSH Editor,

You douche bag, this son-of-a bitch Jonas clearly states that he's an advocate for autism, not against it. He actively goes out in his community and promotes the shit even though his kid is autistic. What a dick.

...but maybe you realize this and the reason for your pussy-assed response is your resignation to the fact that you can't even compare to Jonas's evil and you're taking your proper place as his submissive bitch.

Then again, maybe I'm giving you too much credit.

Another thing "valuable" and "intelligent" debate is not what my son Al (Gore) intended with the anonymity of the internet, so fuck you for promoting that shit. The internet is for porn, putting people down, sites like TSH, and downloading shit for free; that's it. (and also some networking applications, but that's it). Valuable and intelligent debate is reserved for real life, face-to-face interaction only.

Love Always,

P.S. You retarded fucks didn't even notice Jonas spelled the text of your shirt wrong.

P.P.S. No one gives a flying fuck if you're a Marine Jon, you worthless shit. But thank you for your service to My Kingdom. I have a special place reserved for you in a few months ;)

Angus McShagnasty  05/25/09 11:30 am
Nice try Satan, but everyone knows retards aren't real people don't have souls. So they obviously can't go to "Retard Hell". I suppose the could go to "Dog Hell" or "Muslim Hell" thouggh.

MissMichelle  05/25/09 12:08 pm
My son is Autistic and I thought that shirt was awesome... in fact my boyfriend and I both want to get one. I wish they had kids sizes in this shirt because I would get one for my son.

cesium_133  05/25/09 2:03 pm
I just went out and bought a bunch of surgical masks, like what the Japs wear on subways. This Jonas clearly stated that autism is an "epidemic". Like SARS or pig flu or People's Court knockoffs with negro judges. Someone in the Establishment is giving us autism, so please protect yourself and get those fillings taken out or wtf-ever you're supposed to do... I also use Garlique in suppository form...

Another Bastard  05/25/09 6:56 pm
I have an autistic son...and he rocks...and its funny as fuck. Jonas can bite my hairy, white ass. To state that one shirt in particular is not funny because you don't believe the message is idiotic. Stay the fuck out of TSH, you pansy-ass. I'm half Mexican and I find the "Mexican't" shit funny as hell. I have a low-functioning autistic son and "Autistic Kids Rock" is funny as hell. Get over yourself.

With ZERO due respect...

Another Bastard

Stack  05/25/09 8:10 pm
Your son could have something far worse than autism... He could be black for heaven's sake! Nobody wants that. Not even the black people.

Iman Azol  05/25/09 9:38 pm
Jon: Don't lie. If you're a Marine, you had someone write that letter for you while you drooled on the keyboard.

Go ahead and make all the Air Force jokes you want now, about how we have better living conditions, a safer duty environment, and get paid the same for less hours.

Oh, wait, that's all true, and only funny from our POV.;-)

Best wishes

a Chair Force Wing Wiper.

PS: I do appreciate the Marine perspective on autism. How many squad mates of yours are autistic? And how many are gay? And how many are both?

ledheadmelli  05/26/09 1:38 am
My granddaughter is also autistic. While this is certainly a trial for us, my daughter and I both laughed at that shirt! TSH is an equal opportunity offender - guess we're just glad to be included!

BigRedBeast  05/26/09 5:22 am
i work with kids with autism and the shirt rules!!!

kjnkjbnkjn  05/26/09 5:52 am
fuck dick nigger

Josh  05/26/09 7:08 am
I worked for years as a behaviorist for autistic kids. I loved my job and loved the kids. I can't imagine the hell an autistic child goes through feeling separated from the world around them. All that said, my aunt bought me this shirt a few years ago and I laughed my ass off. I used to wear it to work (at a school district) under a buttoned up shirt (they preferred I hid my horrible tattoos that said things like "faith" and "luck"). But when there were no kids in the office, I whipped off that outer shirt and displayed my gift proudly. Got a lot of people that laughed and said they were ashamed for finding it funny. Why? It IS fucking funny. Get a sense of humor! I personally find shirts on this site unfunny and distasteful and choose not to buy them. But I really don't see any "promotion" of hate or violence. You really think some neo-Nazi is sitting at home contemplating a "hate crime" and seeing a t-shirt pushes him over the edge? Actually, that would be pretty damn funny too! "T-Shirt Hell joins Catcher In The Rye and Clockwork Orange as top brainwashing tools". Time to start burning Huckleberry Finn there, Hitler! Jonas, fine letter, btw.

WhatWouldSatanDo  05/26/09 8:33 am
Two weeks ago I wore my "Autistic Kids Rock" shirt to an Autism Benefit bike ride and concert. Everyone thought it was hilarious...including the autistic kids in one of the bands. Sadly, they did NOT rock.

WhatWouldSatanDo  05/26/09 8:37 am
Oh and that Idiot up there ^
Not the real Satan.
Satan loves his Devil Dogs!

Aarpia  05/26/09 12:39 pm
These kind of whiney dipshits are the worst, because not only do they have tiny tiny balls, but they're gigantic hypocrites as well. They're willing to laugh at everyone else's misfortune, but as soon as it's something to do with them they throw a hissy fit and immediately start bleeding from the crotch.
Stop being a wet towel stuffed inside a wet vagina and laugh you pompous retard (Get it? Because you're defending retards).

Victor  05/26/09 2:44 pm
What a fucking narcissistic retard. There are plenty of other shit on here that would be offensive to other people but when he is affected directly by something he starts bitching. That is just fucking selfish. Shut the fuck up and laugh at the satire-filled shirts. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

Laura L.  05/26/09 2:56 pm
You know, I'm also an advocate for autism awareness and have a son with autism. That being said, I'm not hypocritical enough to laugh at some things and then not at others. The Autism Kids Rock shirt is funny as hell! If nothing else, it does open conversation about the subject. So how can that be bad? all press is good press.. so they say. But then again, my son is high functioning.. he doesn't actually rock, unless he's listening to some kick ass music with me.

angel  05/26/09 5:10 pm
my friend with an autistic child bought that shirt...she thought it was funny because they do more ways than one!

Jeff Lebowski  05/26/09 9:40 pm
Someone reads this shit that kinda gets it? What the fuck?

Buddy13  05/26/09 10:02 pm
So, what he's saying is that it's okay to insult other people's problems, but the second you insult his, you're way outta line. Good job.

Jenny Leonard  05/26/09 10:20 pm
The 'Autistic Kids Rock' shit is my all time favorite! My friend, Brooke, gets sooooo mad when I tell her how much autistic kids rock!

Mallory  05/26/09 11:40 pm
I have to agree with Jonas O. I too am an advocate for autism as it runs high in my family and several of my family members have it.

Out of all the forms of prejudice there are this one is the most unfair because of how difficult it is for autistic people to defend themselves. It's probably not right to make fun of gay people or blacks either but for Christ's sakes they can shoot back can't they? I think some of the people below making comments should consider this as well.

So I'm sure I'm going to hear from all of you sick sons of bitches but you know what, it really doesn't make a flying fuck to me because it's funny to watch ignorance and stupidity thrive in their purest form. Comments like "I hope your son dies and goes to Retard Hell." are perfect demonstrations of such.

So have fun with your little shots at me and everyone else! The fact is I don't know you, and even if I did your opinion of me still doesn't matter! Maybe someday the rest of you will find a real cause!

Ricster  05/27/09 2:23 am
I find it interesting that people who have no problem with OTHER T-shirts being prejudicial and bigoted all of a sudden "find god" when a new shirt hits close to home.

I'm a gay man and there are plenty of shirts on the site that denegrate me...I just skip over them and go to the ones that I like. You should know by now that this is an equal opportunity insult site...don't take it personally...geesh.

Crysanna  05/27/09 8:05 am
Wow, yet another "your site is so cool but you've finally offended me so I'm leaving" message. What don't people get? So you're wear your "Anorexia is Phat" shirt while your prissy slutbag daughter secretly battles but god forbid an autistic shirt shows up when your son has the same condition! You do a little charity work because your son came out all fucked up and all of a sudden T-Shirt Hell are the bad guys? Give me a break!

Death Magnetic  05/27/09 7:19 pm
I'd like to visit muslim hell. Are there 72 virgins there, too?

Paulie  05/28/09 7:33 am
My great neice was shaken by her good for nothing, Scumbag cockeating lowlife whalecum eating welfare getting ball licking ass munching father..and suffered sever mental retardation, blndness, and partial deafness...and even I can see the humor in the shirt...for Godsake woman take the big stick out of your vagina, or better yet leave it in so you can't breed anymore.

The7thSon  05/28/09 9:45 am
As the father of a son with an Autism Spectrum Disorder, I have 3 things to say:
1. The autistic kids t-shirt is funny as hell.
2. That "Satan" guy is an enormous douche.
3. "Iman Azol" is just bitter about the vagina full of sand he has over not having what it takes to get into the Marines. He had to settle for the semi-military Air Force. Get over it, candy-ass douche.

fuckyoumallo  05/28/09 1:35 pm
Mallory your a fucking dumbass, if you didnt care you wouldnt put that qualifier on it and you wouldnt be posting here. I hope god shoves the eiffel tower up your ass. And I hope all autistic kids you know burn slowly in a Jonas Brother filled hell. But only after your forced to drink all their cum

Lucky  05/28/09 11:00 pm
What I don't fully understand is why people would take such offense to a shirt reading "Autism kids rock"... isn't that a good thing?... like saying kids with autism are just as cool as regular kids... like give them a chance, because they rock. I'm not connecting the offensive here. I know its meant to be insulting, but there are so many much more insulting ones than this. Besides, wear the shirt around a bunch of autistic kids (who can read) and they'd just think the wearer was standing up for them as people... you know?

Anon  05/29/09 2:16 pm
The mother is just upset because she wasn't able to shake her daughter to death, and now has no one to watch her when she gets old.

Thomas  05/29/09 7:30 pm
Jonas is a douche bag. The shirts about faggots, killing Jesus, poking fun at slavery, and all the other awesome shit here are totally fine with him, but the one shirt that relates to his life he bitches about and stops coming here.

Nunyafukinbiniss  05/30/09 1:32 am
Congrats to Jonas on the hipocrisy award! Its cool to joke about everybody except your genetically defected son, fuck you!

mcjeb  05/31/09 4:18 am

shut up  07/07/09 12:58 am
You'd think all these people calling autistic kids "retards" would be happy they live in a world where 1 out of 160 times, they can stand in line at the grocery store in front of a kid without overhearing him all-too-loudly whisper to his mom "someone should teach the fat man in front of us how to wipe better"

suckmynonexistentdick  07/22/09 8:09 pm
Mallory you ignorant piece of crap. First of all, I didn't know that autism is the only mental defect that stops people from firing back at criticism. TSH makes fun of Alzheimer's patients and those people aren't in their right minds to defend themselves either. The fact of the matter is that you need to learn to laugh at these things because it makes it more tangible and can help you deal with things. A very close person in my family suffered from Alzheimer's for 20 years and just recently died from the disease and you don't see me getting my panties in a bunch and acting like a dumb ignorant cunt do you? Glad to see that people like you as well as other self-important pricks like to place themselves up above others and think that whatever problem affecting them is much more important than other people's and it's alright to laugh at those since everyone but yourself can fight back. Why don't you cunts do more research before posting stupid ignorant comments like these. Get a life and laugh at shit you dumb motherfuckers.


the cow on the side lines  08/20/09 8:22 am
thats awsome "P.S. - I hope your son dies and goes to Retard Hell." *licks finger**checks wind direction**rubbs nipples* yup still funny as fuck.. alomost as good as eagle boy syndrom (retards with a nose that looks like a beak.. funny as shit when they sceam they sound like an eagle... yes i nick named a retard i saw on a bus) or turtle neck dieses (havent seen it but when they keep pushing out ther neck nd putin it in weird ways... gotta love freinds without benifits)

does this remind you of your favorite pair of panties?

-----Original Submission-----

Dustin J K.

I've bought about 150$ worth of merch from you in the past, and checked back today to see if there was anything new. Usually I see sardonic wit I admire, today I saw the Bea Arthur shirt. That's just plain poor.

She was fucking cool. If there's a Bea Arthur's death shirt it oughta be her ghost pulling a bird. She's on par with Carlin. Fuck you, too.

Editor's Note: Actually, she had more facial hair than George Carlin. But you're right, she does have a few things in common with him.

#1 - She's dead. #2 - She sucked. #3 - She gained a huge following in the early '70s by playing to an easily led audience that was desperate for an idol and then retained that audience by pandering to them for the next 35 years.

I guess the comparison falls apart on that last one, but you get my point. "And what was the point?" you ask. You know, that dead people are all equally dead and, as a result, equally worthless. If we can manage to squeeze a few laughs out of their corpses before the only function they serve is to be peed on by my "Pee on Forgotten Celebrities" club, then that's what we'll do.

So, as the shirt says: Rot in Hell, Bea Arthur. And just to get it out of the way: Rot in Hell, Betty White. And the one who played the old whore.

Comments (22) - View Comments - Add A Comment

David  05/25/09 11:42 am
Rue McClanahan. Blanche.

Devildog2033  05/25/09 11:58 am
David's under suspicion. Seriously- why do you know this?

Dana  05/25/09 12:07 pm
Carlin only sucked when he needed to get a few miles down the road. There's really no comparison.

cesium_133  05/25/09 2:11 pm
Bea Arthur was an unoriginal one-liner factory while all the rest of the Golden Girls were funny. She was like a wet rag (read: used maxipad) on things. Incidentally, didn't Estelle Getty (Ma, Sophia) die, too? Now, you can honor her if you want. She had Sicilian wisdom and wasn't a real-life Jew, I don't think...

codemon09  05/25/09 2:37 pm
ya, even pee arthur's name suggests a death time membership in the "Pee on Forgotten Celebrities" club. Sorta like a Hair Club for men, since Pee had quite a lot of man hair--if ya know what I mean!!!

Iman Azol  05/25/09 9:41 pm
Yeah, and fuck that douche Will Ferrell, too. Oh, wait, he's not dead yet? I can't tell his so-called acting and humor from a corpse.

chris  05/25/09 10:31 pm
Yeah, Carlin's dead, but that talentless fag Seth McFarlane is still alive. That's proof that Satan is running the place.

Mike B  05/26/09 10:19 am
And then there's Maude,a GoldenGirl.
Bea we hardly knew ye'
Mike B 05/26/09 9:52 am
Then there's Maude,A Golden Girl,Bea we hardly knew ye'...
Singer,Dancer,Model&Actress. Bea Arthur has left us to soon. All of us Know Ms. Arthurs most recent roles As Maude in Maude and Dorthy in The Golden Girls.But she has done much in a career cut short.As a child, young Bea Performed for President Washington at Mt Vernon,She was the first female USO performer to give a show for Front Line Troops at The Battle of New Orleans.She sang the National Anthem on opening day at Fenway Park.Also She had a small but powerful role in Al Jolsons "The Jazz Singer" and was the model for the Oscar statuette.While serving for the O.S.S. she seduced and killed a German General in occupied France. And as you might expect,she had sex with President Kennedy and you Know the rest.I would like to thank her for enriching our lives,and to send out condolences to Mike #28 who had a special bond with Bea. Goodbye Bea Arthur.
You will be missed.

Danny  05/26/09 10:25 am
"Rot in Hell, Betty White. And the one who played the old whore." LOL! Too damn funny!

Kristen  05/26/09 2:14 pm
For you to compare George Carlin to Bea Arthur is a travesty. Yes understandable, the fact that most commedians spend their entire carreers making money off making is laugh is relevant. However Carlin didn't give a fuck what we thought of him. He did what he loved and the rest of the world be damned. You insult the intelligence of some of your subscribers by assuming that we are all childish morons who will take what you have to say at face value and not question it. Hmmm sounds vaguely familiar of what you were ripping people apart for in this post.

random fan of the site  05/26/09 8:43 pm
Awe, I actually liked Carlin, I didn't think he sucked... I guess I was apart of the "...easily led audience that was desperate for an idol..."

Keep up the good work.
P.S. Boo hoo *whine and sob because you made fun of something I like*

Mario  05/27/09 12:49 pm
Carlin wasn't funny! Why do you faggots keep sucking his long dead dick? "Preboarding? How do we get on the plane before we get on the plane?" Yeah I get it, George. We have stupid ways of saying things.

He was only about 3 steps above Chris Rock in terms of funniness. His shows were almost a motivational speaking engagement.

Death Magnetic  05/27/09 7:29 pm
She's dead, no one cares....except Dustin, who owns the testicle she donated right before she died. He carries it in his mouth in her memory. That shirt is funny as fuck.

Piss off, Screech, I mean, Dustin.....

Jeff  05/27/09 11:46 pm
Mario, And how much did you make this year or an year pointing out the way we say stupid things? Of all you Carlin haters, who do you find funny? Please don't say Dane Cook! But it must be because it must be somebody from the 'now' generation who doesn't understand or even recall anything that didn't happen within the last tweet. Tweet on losers.

Neo316  05/28/09 10:00 am
Agree with Kirsten & ^, Carlin kicked ass.

I doubt any other mainstream star was as popular and hilariously irreverent at the same time as him.

We can all make fun of him but at the end of the day you gotta admit, the guy was a fucking legend.

Yuggib  05/29/09 10:32 pm
"Shit, piss, cunt, fuck, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits." Who the fuck can say that shit and not laugh their ass off?

reba  05/30/09 1:44 pm
i just want to point out to everyone that wants t-shirt hell to get rid of the one t-shirt that offends them are TOTALLY missing the point. These shirts are 100% insulting yeh so? they insult everyone and everything! NOT just a select group. Anything is fair game to them and yes ive found most of there shirts funny and ive found some of them to be fucked up but thats the beauty of T-shirt hell everyone is equal.(equal in the sense that no one is left out of the riddicule and humilliation.) So u idiots need to fucken deal. I mean come ON! the shirts u find funny deffinatly offend someone else. thats what they do! Isnt that why u like them? and to all u people who dont like t-shirt hell at all WHY do you waste your time and ours to come here and bitch? yr not changing anything. (except maybe giving yr self a heartattack cause of all the"horrible shirts" and maybe droping dead so we no longer have to suffer yr presence.) but yeah any way you people are all Idiots.

Lucky  05/30/09 4:03 pm
I don't understand the point of all this... who gives a fuck about the Bea Arthur shirt, insulting or not? I certainly don't.

I also don't give a shit about George Carlin or anyone else who you people think sucks...your opinions don't matter!!

Vaginatarian  05/30/09 7:27 pm
And neither does yours, Lucky, and neither does yours....

Lucky  05/30/09 11:33 pm
Agreed. We all need to just enjoy the shirts... all of them, rather than bitch about certain ones... because racial, religious and all offensive humor is the best. My opinion means shit, I know, and its perfectly ok. Lets all just be happy and enjoy the promotion of ignorance and hate, j/k... you really cannot promote ignorance. At this point I have no idea what I'm getting at, I just wanted to comment again

bugsike  05/31/09 2:42 pm
Excuse me Mario - when you say sucking his "long dead dick", do you mean a dead dick that is long, or a dick that has been dead a long time?

The Tampon of the Ass  06/13/09 9:18 pm
Even as a 10 year old I thought about Fucking Rue McClanahan. I used to get a little 10 year-old woody, then I'd run to the bathroom where I'd touch myself until I peed my pants. Now everytime I fuck Hookers, I don't come on their faces, I pee in their eye-sockets. Thanks Rue....

division of labor

[Close Your Legs on the Way Out]

Don't judge a cripple until you roll a mile in his wheelchair. I'm sure he'll have let go by then and you can safely judge him.