WE'RE JUST FRIENDS (YELLOW DESIGN)
WE'RE JUST FRIENDS (BLUE DESIGN)
MY DICK IS BIGGER THAN YOUR HONOR STUDENT
+ > -
GANGBANG LINE JUMPER
IV:XX
POP A SMURF
 HOPELESS ROMANTIC SEEKS FILTHY WHORE
I FUCKING LOVE TO CUDDLE
DON'T MAKE ME OPEN A CAN OF POSITIVITY ON YOUR ASS
THIS T-SHIRT IS 100% ORGANIC
NOT TONIGHT LADIES I'M JUST HERE TO GET DRUNK
DON'T BOTHER ME - I'M WASTING POTENTIAL
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO IMPRESS NONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS
BLING-BLING
TO WOMEN FROM GOD

space
newsfromhell

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Sharpen your crayons! It's time to separate the artists from the morons who actually just got up to go sharpen their crayons.

We are having a contest for someone to design us a new logo for T-Shirt Hell. We're not going to give you a lot of rules or direction. We're looking for someone who can take this challenge and run with it. Someone to deliver something new and exciting, but that stays true to the spirit of T-Shirt Hell.

For the full guidelines go here. Good Luck!

 

joy division

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WORST.GANGBANG.EVER

I hope you all had a good Father's Day. Mine sucked, as usual. If my mom could narrow it down for me I wouldn't mind so much, but I really hate buying gifts for twenty different rapists.

Last week Obama proposed an overhaul of America's financial system. I know nothing about it, but I already hate it, because an angry loud guy called it Socialism. And Socialism is bad because that same angry loud guy said it was. I'm just glad the government is to blame once again. I don't know what I'd do if corporations or common citizens caused a problem in this country.

Obama also extended benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees. This was great news for the Department of Fagriculture! (I'm not gonna stop there) And the Department of Homo-land Security! And the Department of Queenergy! Okay, I didn't have as many as I thought.

The Lakers won the NBA Championship last week. Thus proving once and for all that really tall black guys are good at basketball. Geez, why not just give me a trophy for giving handjobs to toll booth workers? (Other sports news: The Penguins won the hockey equivalent of a championship. I think they got a Scrappy-Doo Pez dispenser with "Best Hockey Team" written on it.)

David Letterman apologized for making jokes about Sarah Palin's daughters on his show last week. Palin graciously accepted his apology. Then she gave Willow her third secret abortion. (I apologize to Governor Palin. That was in poor taste and completely indefensible. Now just get your daughters to apologize for being dumb sluts and you'll be all covered. You stupid bitch.)

Monstrous lesbian Chastity Bono recently announced she'd be getting a sex change. I don't know if you've seen Chastity Bono, but I don't think one set of male genitalia is going to be able to handle the amount of testosterone coursing through this beast. I'm thinking she needs to ask that doctor to add ten extra balls and five extra cocks while he's down there.

Comments (22) - View Comments - Add A Comment

zed  06/22/09 7:18 pm
My kid beat up your honor student AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA LOL LOL LOL!!! ROTFFLMFAO!!! HAHAHAHAHa

bald guy from night court  06/22/09 8:11 pm
kurt rambis, sara palin and chastity bono pictures all in a row? my erection has never been more confused

jackie o'brainscooper  06/22/09 8:17 pm
It's easy to mock a shirt if you quote it wrong. And almost any joke, especially on a shirt, has to be derived from something. But whatever I'm sure zed is really smart and is only commenting because he had one free minute where he wasn't writing a subversive play and performing brain surgery. By the way, you forgot the Department of the Anal Interior

An outraged American  06/22/09 9:00 pm
Ok, this slandering of the woman who might well be the next POTUS needs to stop! And that goes for her family too! Dont any of you have any Pride of where you come from? Well Palin has enough for you! You folks dont understand what she has gone through just to represent you and our proud Country....

Do you realize just how many fleshy helmets she must have polished with her own well worn, crusty, warty tongue... just to be governor of that backwoods frozen leftover polar bear abortion of a state???
Not to mention how far that same acidy saliva dripping ball-cuddling-pink tentacle of hers must have slid up McCains Preperation H caked rusty sheriffs's badge (she could probably still taste Satans freshly launched load, for which McCain swallowed for lunch, in exchange for another 4 years of a beating heart) just to be his partner in Fail- and bring her closer to her vision of hell on earth just a little sooner -that her Good Christian Book surely promised is coming soon(ever since it was written by people dumber than the average American Idol whatcher, over 2,000 years ago....)

Lawdy wont you please give this woman her due (a fresh runny dogshit shower, followed by a roll in sulfur and topped by a nice dip in the nearest volcano).
Or at least respect that she sees Americans in the same sneering contempt as our previous leash holders, and thats what makes her and her family special and better than -you- and -me-, who could and should be made fun of on National T.V. ....
But never the rich and powerful Righteous likes of her!
No, she has a special destiny yet! And dont none of you Mouthbreathin' sumsabitches forget it!
Praise Geeezus!

Slikky  06/23/09 5:45 am
Wow. you're heading in a direction that requires a PHD or ASS Sundae At The Very Least. Have Fun!!!

John  06/23/09 1:37 pm
Transformers was shit, Sam dies and comes back to life? Lots of megan fox though. and a new hot female decepticon human.

PMS Woman  06/23/09 11:20 pm
Anyone else think Lady GaGa is actually a guy?

Loaf  06/24/09 5:07 am
So Chastity bono is female? When the f*ck did that happen? You are trying to tell me there's a vag secreted somewhere up under all those rolls of life-smothering Gwat-flesh? That settles it. There is no god.

Iman Azol  06/24/09 10:30 am
You need photos of Megan Fox lubing my knob.

Because to get them, Megan Fox would have to be lubing my knob.

codemon09  06/24/09 6:27 pm
hahaha! i was reading the above 9 comments and asking myself, "so salvia is still legal, huh?"

Death Magnetic  06/24/09 8:18 pm
Chastity Bono will finally have a tiny boner of her own, instead of using a dildo. Filthy dyke.

trueromantic  06/25/09 3:26 am
pms woman I thought I was the only person who thought that Ga-Ga slut had at least one cock..

Lt. Cmdr. Data  06/25/09 4:12 am
The only way this country could've ever been willing to put High-Yaller-in-Chief and Plagiarist-in-Waiting in office was by Sarah running on the Repub ticket. It was such a joke, she and John McClane... I mean, you get an urban war hero who's saved a building in LA, airplanes in DC, kids in NYC, and the world in... oh, I forgot. Him and his wife running... please. That's like putting Ulysses Grant up again, with Mary Todd Lincoln on the ballot with him. I mean, Bruce Willis and Bonnie Bedelia on the Republican ticket? Wait... McClane, Bedelia, Palin... McCAIN... damn, I almost voted for an action-movie A-lister. Well, Bob Barr was an okay choice. Someone hand me some more blond hash before I embarrass myself more.

I got it! It's a conspiracy... see, Doh!bama is screwing stuff up so badly that Palin will head the ticket in '12 and start a Republican resurrection that will last a half century... as nobody will want to see a foreign Democrat again. Bruce, er, John McCain will have to rim HER for the VP spot.

I'm being too advanced in logic here. Suffice it to say that, well, if I had to have a 45-year-old woman teabag me for an hour, put Sarah 2nd in line. Sophie Marceau gets first shot at this albino python...

Jenn  06/25/09 3:35 pm
rofl, about chastity.. i'm a dyke, and i'm juuuuuust fine with the parts i was born with :D

codemon09  06/26/09 1:11 am
michael jackson heard about the bono chick wanting a boner, so even he thought that was a tad over the top and took the easy way out! you would think he would want some of the scraps for a future surgery, but noooooooooooo!!!

Brock  06/26/09 7:35 am
lol fuck i love this site!

Iman Azol  06/26/09 11:21 am
Lt. Cmdr. Data, otherwise known as That Homo Trekkie Little Faggot With No Life: No one knows what the fuck you're blathering about, and no one cares. Why don't you go eat a nice bowl of shit, put on your spandex shirt, go to the convention and offer to suck Mr Spock's dick?

codemon09  06/26/09 3:15 pm
@ I.A. (AI backwards) a fail whale for u: (_•___)

G-something  06/26/09 8:10 pm
How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You poke 'er face! Eh? Eh? Fine. Bloody savages.

And Chastity Bono? If you used pics from the last decade, you'd see he's been a man for a LONG time. Seriously, my GF and I called it years ago.

sweetbaby  06/26/09 9:27 pm
I have to disagree with the Outraged American. Those who wrote the bible were a hell of alot smarter than the "average Idol watcher". I found you hilarious but try making that last thousands of years and getting billions of people to bend to your will, sight unseen. Nay, whomever wrote the bible was using the ol' noggin. They got people to be ok with the fact they were living in deplorable conditions, cause "if they lived their lives by the word of God, heaven will be your reward". It got people to be ok with the fact the church was corrupt, to "turn the other cheek". I could go on and on. No, I say the author of the bible was one smart cookie.
Besides that, yup, Palin is a dolt, talll black people are good at basketball, what the hell really is socialism and why is it the battlecry of the Obama-haters, and ha ha- "monstrous lesbian". That there is funny.

codemon09  06/26/09 10:16 pm
hahaha! it looks like "sweetbaby" is the closest thing we will have as hatemail on teh end of june thing!!!

if the "peeps" who wrote the babble were smart cookies, why don't we have autos that fly, or do-it-yourself heart transplant kits selling @ Wal-mart? Mankind should be a collective mental colossus by now.

That's b/c everyone 2000 years ago was a mega-über dumb-fuck that made it easy for those seeking attention to control with their "words of wisdom" about phantom supreme beings in the clouds & evil doers down below. We have progressed some from those times and that's how it is that people currently exist who dare to question your babble's authenticity.

You have made that critical 1st step by calling the GOP on their idiotic elevating of Guv Palin to the national stage. So "sunshine" or whatever, get downtown close to the evilones and toot me out a zamfir classic on my 8½ skin flute.


Jefferson Fawkes  06/27/09 4:41 am
Sarah Palin the next President? Yeah, and who's dick would she have to suck to get that job? And where does the line form?


long division

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picture 1

If you share my love of... Wait, I just realized I don't love anything. Okay, if you share my interest in... All right, so I'm not interested in anything either. Damn it. My apathy and indifference make it virtually impossible to write about anything. If it weren't for my vast reserves of irrational anger I'd never get anything done.

Anyway, the topic I was so clumsily attempting to address is that American Idol runner-up, Adam Lambert, came out of the closet in a recent interview. Not only did he admit to being gay, he said he was proud of his sexuality. This struck me as odd, since being gay is more of a natural inclination than an accomplishment. To say you're proud of getting a boner when you see a dude's anus is like saying you're proud of getting hungry when you see a turkey leg.

I always understood pride to be a feeling of self-worth you attain after achieving a worthwhile goal, not deluding yourself into thinking every detail of your life is worthy of praise. That is where I've been wrong. Why do anything if you can feel just as good about yourself because you have elbows? As a wise man once said: Why stand when you can lay on the couch and get stoned? Here are some things we can all be proud of without going to all the trouble of "accomplishment."picture 1

Tastes - The books, movies and music you enjoy are not just stuff you like; they are a badge of honor. But don't use your tastes to broaden your mind or inspire your own creativity, just refer to them in situations where they allow you to condescend to friends or co-workers. Example: "You like Led Zeppelin? [Name of band that has sold 100 albums] is much better." Because hearing of a thing is just as impressive as creating it.

Religion - For following a book that says "pride comes before the fall," Christians seem awfully proud of being Christian. Which isn't bad, I'm just surprised they got it right where their book got it wrong. But people of all faiths advertise pride in their faith. Whether they're shoving pamphlets in my face or blowing up buildings, people love to show their "Team God" spirit. I've never been bothered by someone on behalf of atheism or agnosticism. Where's the pride, man? I'd rather have pride and kill a bunch of people than have no pride and live in peace the rest of my life.picture 1

Children's accomplishments - I'm fudging here because something is being done, but it requires no effort on your part. Just sit back and bask in the second-hand glory as your offspring does all the work. And don't be one of those smothering mothers or brow-beating fathers who force themselves to think they've done something. Your kid got that A+. All you did is hit an egg with a sperm - something every mule deer and rat on the planet can do. Just take credit knowing full well you don't deserve it. Consequently, if they fuck up it's all on them.

Political affiliation - All politicians accomplish little more than a series of fuck-ups, but it's important for you to pick a side so you can take pride in all the things they say they stand for. Whether the back of your car says "Obama" or "McCain," you can boast that you support all those pretty adjectives and nouns they were both shouting eight months ago. Go elephant or donkey!picture 1

Purchases - In this day and age, it's unlikely your job is difficult or meaningful. But when you get right down to it, your occupation is your only worthwhile contribution to society. This is irrelevant to pride. What matters is the stuff you buy with that paycheck. Have you ever seen a rich person describe their new house? They practically glow with pride. And why not? It's not just anyone who can sleep in a house they didn't design or construct. Whether you're buying a great car you didn't design or a beautiful table you didn't build, giving someone money for a thing is just as impressive as making it yourself.

Nationality - The granddaddy of them all. Above all else, you should feel proud of where you plopped out of a vagina. You ever notice how no Americans have Icelandic pride and no Italians have Iraqi pride? That's because national pride isn't about which country is best or which government best represents your beliefs. It's about you. Your mom shit you out of her twat in THIS country. And even though this occurred without your consent or knowledge, wave that flag like it means everything in the world. Because what you're really saying is that YOU mean everything in the world.

In conclusion, when it comes to your emotions, there's no middle ground. You can't just "be" gay or "be" American. You have to feel one extreme or the other about everything in the world. Either feel pride or feel shame; love something or hate it. Just like you hated this article.

Comments (36) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Corey  06/22/09 5:52 pm
Ironically, mules actually can't hit an egg with a sperm.

The Mexican Mountie  06/22/09 8:07 pm
That's not ironic at all. Just because something is inaccurate doesn't make it ironic. But hooray for anyone who points out a technical or grammatical flaw in something instead of commenting or expanding on the commentary. Not that funny, but pretty good point. One of the biggest problems with people is pride, and like the article says, we currently have it in spades about all the wrong things. I'm proud of my car. I'm proud of my heritage. I'm proud of my skin color. When you literally have to do nothing to feel pride it can't be cheapened any more.

Marvo  06/22/09 10:20 pm
profoundly bombastic! It almost meant something and it almost has feeling.....and folks wonder why I love T-shirt hell.....

Nobody  06/23/09 12:18 am
Stupid fucking mexicans. Always tryin to ruin shit.

Halogenic  06/23/09 10:01 am
Awesome article. This is why T-shirt Hell is so profound sometimes.
I respect gays and lesbians, but when people 'demand respect' for being gay I call them stupid fuckign faggots. How about being an awesome person and getting respect? All of the gay friends I have are great people FIRST, so at the end of the day I can truly say- Hey guys/girls, gay people are just fine the way they are.
It just sickens me so much that there's a plethora of homosexual people out there demanding I respect them and recognise them because they simply 'are' gay. It's the same with nationality- hit the nail right on the head (insert T-shirt Hell level of sexual innuendo here).
6 Chaz Bono Boners up!!

Adam.  06/23/09 11:17 am
I agree.

That was going to be it... but I just felt like saying that my favorite black friends are the ones that let me scream 'HEY NIGGER!' when I want their attention. And walking up to a table full of gay men and saying 'Sup faggots!' and getting a friendly response and a free beer is great.

People need to lighten the fuck up, life isn't THAT serious.

Misty  06/23/09 4:53 pm
Ok, this was one of my favorite "things" ever-- but being the nerdy douche that I am, I must point out that mules can't reproduce.

GWAILIN  06/23/09 5:08 pm
Why is there a picture of Lips, the singer from Anvil next to "tastes"?

cheribom  06/23/09 10:12 pm
Retards. "mule deer." NOT "mule, deer." A mule deer actually can reproduce. As if the black girl who writes the Thing would ever leave out a comma. Dumbasses.

Ryan  06/23/09 10:39 pm
"To say you're proud of getting a boner when you see a dude's anus is like saying you're proud of getting hungry when you see a turkey leg." That's probably the funniest thing I've ever read.

Drew  06/23/09 10:45 pm
Corey and Misty, The "thing" referenced mule deer, not mules. Mule deer CAN reproduce. Check your facts before you decide to correct someone.

Mandy  06/24/09 1:14 am
This was... intelligent. And logically argued. And funny. I have to say, I'm both proud and disappointed. And a little turned on. So... nice Thing.

Cavalierman  06/24/09 5:23 am
This is the most insightful thing I've ever seen here.

Bravo, sir.

Suction Man  06/24/09 8:00 am
Well written! I like this so much I have an erection.

Iman Azol  06/24/09 10:34 am
Gwailin: Knowing who lips is makes you homo.

Or a Nigger.

Take your pick.

Juliana Marie  06/24/09 11:44 am
Thank you for the profound observations that I had no expectation of finding when clicking the "June Thing" link. So much truth, so early in the morning...

LM  06/24/09 3:04 pm
I think you'll find it's when your mother shAT you out of her twat... And it's a nice rhyme!

Death Magnetic  06/24/09 8:49 pm
My job is neither difficult or meaningful, especially to the niggers and wetbacks I have to work with. In spite of that, I do what I have to in order to support myself and family. I possess an enormous amount of pride in my heritage, however, I feel less inclined to put it on public display. I believe that pride is an internal thing. To display it publicly constitutes a measure of arrogance, to say the least. But that's what makes this country great. The ability and capacity to defile and demoralize yourself in front of an audience, all in the name of pride.

Lt. Cmdr. Data  06/25/09 4:31 am
I'm getting a nationality transplant soon b/c I am not proud of America, being American, or being born in America. Canada rocks, eh, and they have much better hockey. Best of all, I don't have to be a fucked-up lesbo wanting to turn into a male homo to get residency up there!

Andrew  06/25/09 8:25 am
I hate my life, and I'm not proud of anything. It's making me EXHAUSTED!

o.O  06/25/09 10:18 am
Once again, where the fuck is the hate mail? You're getting just plain lazy, I think your pay should be docked 5 midgets and 3 aborted fetuses until you start doing hate mail again!

ZapJ  06/25/09 11:12 am
This was the best damn "thing" ever. Why doesn't Obama ever make a speeh this good? You should be writing for him. Oh, and if Lambert is so proud about being gay, why did he stay so quiet about it during his run on Idol? He was publicly out way before Idol and suddenly got real quiet while all of the tabloids started askig questions. This is not an example of a proud homo-boi. (But I do think he's a cutie -woof!)

Streeca  06/25/09 11:55 am
Hated the article? Bullshit! I LOVED that article! SO FUCKING TRUE!

Fredish  06/25/09 11:44 pm
That was so funny my cock cried! Oh wait, different site...Seriously, that was pretty damn good. Now go whack one off with those mad monkeys in the zoo but remember to clean up your "pride" when you're done. That's what separates us from the apes!

rachgd  06/26/09 12:10 pm
Am I justified in being proud to have read this, and to have found it funny? 'Cause... I think I am.

Best "Thing" I have read thus far. Insightful, apposite, and truly, disturbingly amusing. Love it.

The Itch  06/26/09 2:36 pm
WHAT THE FUCK? Mules shoot sperm at deer elbows... Turkey legs in dudes anus's...

Adam's GAY???
I'm proud to write "I can understand anything I read here"...

Madddman  06/26/09 3:09 pm
She said mule deer moron.

Stephanie  06/26/09 9:10 pm
HALLELUJAH!! Thank you for writing that article. There are so many that need to read that, yet would probably stop before finishing because they'd be offended (and proud of it). They are proud of how proud they are and how dare you call them on it.
I wholeheartedly agree. (And I am proud of the fact that I agree with you. )
This is the age we live in. Everyone wants some sort of praise, in any shape or form. Be damned whether credit is deserved or not. I'm special! Tell me how wonderful you think I am!

Dorky Pork  06/26/09 10:45 pm
Sunshine Megatron, you're just like my asshole...you're always holding up shit. buuuut i gotta admit you're a pretty smart guy. keep it real sunny!

supapimpin101  06/27/09 2:23 pm
haha i love the part about religion :)

loosephlegm  06/29/09 6:02 pm
After Charles Manson, you are my favorite modern philosopher.

dbag  06/29/09 9:30 pm
yeah, i agree - americans do suck...

Samantha  07/02/09 10:28 am
LM, you moron, shat and twat do not rhyme.

kiwikaydar  07/02/09 10:07 pm
i agree whole heartedly with what you said. very eloquent. the world needs more people like you

john  07/06/09 3:15 am
nice way to rip off Carlin you unoriginal fucktard. didnt you dis George Carlin a month ago?

GWAILIN  07/21/09 7:04 pm
@Iman Azol : I'm actually both a nigger and a homo. ..your shit is still on my black dick....niggerlover.


MOO!
space

We are nearing the end of June, and you know what that means. That's right - June is almost over! On an unrelated note, I decided to share some crank calls with all of you. I intended to post the actual calls, but I accidentally ate the computer they were stored on. I dropped a pepperoni on the keyboard and by the time I realized it wasn't a pizza I had already eaten the monitor, speakers and hard drive. And I wasn't about to go through life saying I had eaten MOST of a computer, so I finished it off. Anyway, here, to the best of my recollection, are transcripts of those calls. Enjoy.

Call #1 - [Woman answers]

Woman: Hello?

Me: Is your refrigerator running?

Woman: Yes.

Me: Has it ever called you a fat whore?

Woman: No.

Me: Well it should, because that's what you are. [click]

joy division

Call #2 - [Man answers]

Man: Hello?

Me: Do you have Prince Albert in a can?

Man: Well, it's not technically Prince Albert. What I do is collect his urine and zit pus in a can, then I pour it all over my chest while masturbating.

Me: [stunned silence]

Man: Hello? Hello? Well, if you're not going to talk I'm going to have to hang up. I'm about to go pour gas on senior citizens while a midget beats my ass with a rake. Goodbye. [click]

Me: [uncontrollable sobbing]

joy division

Call #3 - [Little boy answers]

Little boy: Hello?

Me: Oh... Hi. Umm... How old are you?

Little boy: I'm going to be five next week. Mommy says I'm going to get a new bike.

Me: Well... I was going to do this joke where I ask for "Mike Hunt" and then you would... I don't suppose you know what "cunt" means?

Little boy: No, but I can sound like a dinosaur - RAWWWRRRR!!!

Me: Hey... that's just great. This whole idea kind of got derailed. Bye, kid.

Little boy: Bye, you fucking cunt. [click]

joy division

Call #4 - [Guy in 1482, who I sent a time-traveling phone to, answers]

Guy: (muffled, as if he struck the phone and let it lay there) What sorcery is this!

Me: Is there a Frank Wall there?

Guy: Who doth speaketh to me? Lord? Is it thine glorious tongue?

Me: How about a Larry Wall? Is there a Larry Wall there?

Guy: These are not the words of the Lord! This is surely Satan's work! Back to your sulphurous pit, foul demon!

Me: Well are there any Walls there?

Guy: Taste my blade, Lucifer! [smashing sound followed by silence]

Me: Well you better get out of there. Your roof's about to fall down!

Comments (23) - View Comments - Add A Comment

zed  06/22/09 7:12 pm
These new "shirts" lick balls and the roman numeral one isn't even a shirt. Can someone please explain + > - ? Fuck.

Melinda  06/22/09 7:54 pm
If you need someone to explain + > - then you need to go back to first grade math. Really now.

Eddie Murphury  06/22/09 8:20 pm
good lord --that first call is my new standard prank call. why beat around the bush when you can just call someone a fat whore?

ed  06/22/09 9:43 pm
@Melinda: By explain I mean: explain what it is doing on this site. Go make me a sandwich.

critter  06/23/09 2:53 pm
Is it me or are the shirts getting less and less evil all the time? Didn't know cloths could find religion.

Ryan  06/23/09 10:43 pm
I miss the hate mail.

Michael Morley  06/24/09 8:07 am
Well that was a waste of five minutes of my life that I could have spent scratching my balls! This site is going to the fucking dogs!

martin J.  06/24/09 1:09 pm
thanks for the crank call ideas. now i can switch things up instead going with my standard "is jesus there? No? well of course not because he's a hoax used to make money"

codemon09  06/24/09 6:37 pm
"super fuck you" to those who didn't understand teh irony re: the phony prank calls... i enjoyed them almost as much as the "ttaev" comment captcha!!! D-8)> (me grimacing wearing shades & a harry potter hat)

Lt. Cmdr. Data  06/25/09 4:36 am
Wait a minute... how could a guy in 1482 who thinks a phone is the work of the devil have the ability to answer it? Even a cradle phone, one of those old ones from like 1900... he'd be too shocked to answer. Methinks thou dost screwest with me. Signed, Mike Hunt...

Anjar  06/25/09 8:31 am
ME: (Calling God) Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

GODS ANSWERING MACHINE: Hello, this is God. I don't exist and can't come to the phone. Please leave a prayer of something important you're too stupid to fix after the beep, and it will go unanswered for all of eternity. Kind of like screaming into the sky "I want ice cream!" Then waiting for it to rain fudge ripple. Shalom! *BEEP*

Besty  06/25/09 9:39 am
WTF? No hate mail again?

D  06/25/09 1:59 pm
Damn, no witty responses to hate mail? That's always my favorite part. Well, maybe next time.

Ima Jizzin  06/25/09 6:12 pm
Michael Jackson is dying. can we get some plastic surgery kiddie porn jokes please. Michael (polyurecoon) Jackson is having a heart attack

FukStik  06/25/09 8:40 pm
hey fucktard- where is the hate mail?

codemon09  06/26/09 1:01 am
after michael jackson died, the docs who killed 'em covered him with his son "blanket."

Spud  06/26/09 10:10 am
Two famous people died today, one was an aging white woman clinging to her youth, and the other was Farrah Fawcette

Jon  06/26/09 10:55 am
Personally, i can understand the turn to less offensive shirts, i mean, the guy got retarded ammounts of death threats. Kudos for even still having the site up after that.

GAR  06/26/09 10:57 am
urine and zit pus in a can....... WooHooo!

codemon09  06/26/09 3:17 pm
fail whale (_•___)

dumb cunt  06/26/09 9:07 pm
honestly i dont get the + > - thing either

The MP  06/29/09 2:19 am
What's with the IV:XX? 4:20 time for a snack? Or a shag?

FuckedifIcare  06/29/09 10:08 pm
I heard Michael Jackson's ashes are gonna be put into etch-a-sketch's so kids can still play with him


joy division

[Don't Go Away Mad - Just Fuck Off]

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Whatever, man. Just give me the pot.



 
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