BUY SHIRTS
 


08/24/04

The Swift Boat Veterans for Truth have been attacking John Kerry's war
record. They say he doesn't deserve his medals. Kerry has responded by
saying, "They can take away my medals, but they'll never take away my
necklace of human ears, or the baby's skull my wife uses as an ashtray."

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You Hate Laundry, So We Made More Shirts
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We have been busting our asses coming up with new shirts about the
Presidential election, as well as other important issues, like potatoes. We
will have some new anti-Kerry shirts for next week; it's just that the
anti-Bush shirts are so much easier.

All of our new shirts are here:

http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/nsn/newshirt341.htm

If you're an AOL user, or unable to click the link above, copy and paste it
into your browser.

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Here I Am, To Fuck You Like A Hurricane
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What Blows Harder and Faster than Hurricane Charlie?

Governor McGreevey!

Yes, Governor McGreevey, the man who started out as Governor of New Jersey,
but ended up being a queen, is going to be forced to resign. Why? He has
misused the power of his office.

He should have used his powers to seduce an 18 year old intern in thigh high
stockings, a plaid mini skirt, and a sheer linen blouse with the top three
buttons undone; her black, lacy bra straining to contain her firm, young
breasts. Her red lips soft like rose petals; her white panties soaked with
her sweet juices.

That's what happened to me when I clerked for Supreme Court Justice Sandra
Day O'Connor. But I always blamed myself. I was asking for trouble wearing
that schoolgirl outfit. My nipples are still chafed from that bra, not to
mention Sandra's clumsy groping with her thick, gnarled fingers.

Ah, but those sweet kisses...

But let's get back to McGreevey. Does he find some sweet young thing to
pump full of man paste? No.

Instead, he used his powers to get in the pants of a middle aged Israeli
guy. A guy who spent his life dodging suicide bombers on his way to the
playground, comes to New Jersey, and takes a direct hit from Governor
McGreevey's flesh torpedo.

I can not imagine what Governor McGreevey was thinking. But the fact is,
that he has this power and I don't. This is power I would KILL for, and he
used it to screw some ugly fucking dude. I mean, god damn it, couldn't he at
least PRETEND to want to fuck a hot chick and go down in glory?

Give his wife and kids a reason to RESPECT him.

And that is what this is all about, folks. Respect. And honor. And Gov
McGreevey COULD have had of all that.

But he blew it...

Faster and harder than hurricane Charlie, which happened to devastate
thousands of lives and kill scores of people. But more importantly, folks,
he went out like a bitch while the rest of us men (and dykes) would kill to
have his opportunity and power. That is the real tragedy of the situation.

And now, a moment of silence for the hot chicks, if any, that died due to
Hurricane Charlie. And to any young girls who were starting to sprout and
show potential...

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Can You Feel the Hate Tonight?
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----- Original Message -----
From: Steve
Sent: Monday, August 23, 2004 9:46 AM
Subject: Arrest black babies

I liked your site and was recommending it to friends until I seen that
arrest black babies shirt.

SO FUCK YOU AND YOUR SITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Editor's Note: Here at T-Shirt Hell I want to go on record that we do not
seriously condone arresting all black babies. Just the ones that look
shifty. And any babies that are born in prison should probably stay in
prison. No reason to get their hopes up.)

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----- Original Message -----
From: slut0bar @***.com
Sent: Monday, August 23, 2004 3:47 PM
Subject: wishlist

I want a t-shirt that says "cammer at work place stay seated"
you know ... to wear to the theater LOL

(Editor's Note: What? If this person is actually retarded, than someone
should be monitoring them and not allowing them near a computer. They might
drool on the keyboard, get electrocuted, and die. If this person is just a
moron, the same general rules should probably still apply. The one good
thing, if we are to believe their email address, is that this person is a
slut. Well, "A good slut is a quiet slut." That's what mom used to say.
That, and, "Stop fucking the dog. The neighbors are watching, and it's
their dog.")

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----- Original Message -----
From: "dona" <dalekoztad @***>
Sent: Wednesday, August 11, 2004 11:24 AM
Subject: Re: Beginning of August Newsletter

sory but I don't speak english well and I don't understand what you wriete
to me.SO SIAKUTABARA AT ALL.

(Editor's Note: Dona- We are going to continue to send you our newsletter.
You need to learn English. It's only a matter of time before we invade your
country and burn down your village. At the very least you should know how
to say, "sucky sucky yum yum.")

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----- Original Message -----
From: "muresan m***i" <mah*** @y***.com>
Sent: Wednesday, August 11, 2004 9:42 PM
Subject: Re: Beginning of August Newsletter

this was realy nice and was a pleasure to read. keep
up the good work!

(Editor's Note: See dona? Why can't you be more like muresan? He/she
appreciates the newsletter. Muresan, when we invade your country , I
promise we will kill you last. And your death will be swift and not
entirely brutal. And we won't rape you until you're dead. Unless you're
really hot.)

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----- Original Message -----
From: "Pete" <p*** @***.com>
Sent: Tuesday, August 24, 2004 10:29 AM
Subject: Are you there?

I know that you probably think that your shirts are all funny and that
everything is a big joke. But your shirts arenot funny. Some of the topics
you choose to make fun of are very serious and are not a laughing matter.
Not everything is a joke so smartin up.

(Editor's Note: There's nothing I find more amusing than someone telling me
to smarten up when they can't even spell it. Pete, I could not disagree
with you more. Every shirt on our website is funny. It may just not be
funny to you. But that's the beauty of life. That's why they make 7
different flavors of ice cream not just one. Different strokes for
different folks. So, why don't you get back to stroking it while I get back
to my job: spreading sunshine.)

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By the time you receive this, the Iraqi men's Olympic soccer team (that's
football to all of you foreigners who don't know what actual football is)
may already have won the gold medal. You can credit it to hard work, and
determination, I credit the American military who went in and shot a lot of
their third string players; arrested their team captain; and replaced him
with David Beckham.

Peace of Crap

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