10/15/
03

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GREAT NEW SHIT: CRAZY GIFT-WRAP
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Dear T-Shirt Hell,

My friends and family are always offended when they open their gifts
from T-Shirt Hell. But isn't there some way we could offend them
BEFORE they open their gifts?

Sincerely,

Joe Customer

We've received a lot of letters like this, and here at T-Shirt Hell, we
listen. So, now we are pleased to announce WRAP HELL, a new line
of gift-wrap, designed to brighten up any occasion.

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Why is Santa so jolly? Probably because when the elves stop making toys,
there's nothing they enjoy more than a good gangbang!
http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/wrap_elves.shtml

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Want to remind everyone about the true meaning of Christmas?
http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/wrap_christmastree.shtml

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Sure, you got them what they asked for, but how do you ensure they give you
what you want in return? Wrap your present with this. It's not just
giftwrap, it's a binding contract.
http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/wrap_tearing.shtml

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Some people are never satisfied. So this year, help them put things in
perspective.
http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/wrap_ethiopia.shtml

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This is the perfect wrap for your mom's homemade fruitcake, or other
homemade treats.
http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/wrap_biohazard.htm

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Nowadays, it seems like there is a new holiday every week. It's hard to
keep track. Now, you don't have to.
http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/wrap_happy.htm

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This is for everyone you know who seems to have drawn the short straw in
life, or perhaps they just travel on life's short little bus. Either way,
let them know how you feel.
http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/wrap_special.htm

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Whether you're a gloomy Goth an angry metal head, or a smilin' serial
killer; there's just something festive about a great big pile of these...
http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/wrap_skulls.htm

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At T-Shirt Hell, we strongly suggest that you do not mail your gift in the
following giftwrap, nor do you try and take it on an airplane. (Although,
it might distract them from the balloon full of heroin you have up your
ass.)
http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/wrap_bomb.htm

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People are always talking about giving back. So if someone gave you
something crappy last year, now is the time to give it back. Just make sure
you wrap it with this.
http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/wrap_thought.htm

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VIEW ALL OF THE NEW GIFTWRAP HERE
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http://www.tshirthell.com/wraphell.shtml

Don't wait until the last minute, supplies are very limited.

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NEW SHIRTS FOR CYBERSPACE
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One of the nice things about shirts designed for cyberspace is
that they take up less room in your closet:
http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=264

and another one
http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=265

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MAIL FROM DISTURBED PEOPLE LIKE YOU
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----- Original Message -----
From: Mike
Sent: Thursday, September 25, 2003 7:25 PM
Subject: Re: September Newsletter 2.0: It's Newsletterriffic!

You said "fuck you" to your mom? are you some kind of disgusting
inbred faggot? Wait until you have to bury your mother, like I did last
week. Please remove me from your fucking disgusting mail list. You
are one sick fuck for even thinking that.

(Editor's Note: I had to respond personally to this one.)

----- Original Message -----
From: Hell
To: Mike
Sent: Friday, September 26, 2003 2:27 PM
Subject: Re: September Newsletter 2.0: It's Newsletterriffic!

You buried my mother last week? My mother is still alive! And you call me
a sick fuck? Consider yourself removed.

(Editor's Note: Luckily, we got to mom in time. She's fine, just a little
shaken.)

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----- Original Message -----
From: Jeff
Sent: Wednesday, October 08, 2003 9:16 AM
Subject: sick shirts

I cant believe you people have a shirt grinding up women
like coffee. you are sick bastards. that is the sickest shirt
I have ever seen. You should all be shot.

Fuck you!

(Editor's Note: That's the sickest shirt he's ever seen? Is
it wrong that I take that as a challenge?)

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----- Original Message -----

From: happy***@**l.com
Subject: please remove Jesus shirt
Date: Wed, 1 Oct 2003 15:53:59 -0400 (EDT)

Your site was listed in my community newsletter.
It is not appropriate for children, and your
shirts about Jesus is offensive to all Christians.
We are organizing a boycott of your
disgusting site.

(Editor's Note: If they think our Jesus shirts are offensive,
wait until they see our gift-wrap. Sorry, that was a cheap plug.
I hope we can survive their boycott. I hope the rest of you do
your part and buy more shirts until they crack!)

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That's all for this one.

Peace on it!