DON'T CURSE
DURING MY BLACKOUT I SAW MYSELF MAKING A SANDWICH
DEMOCRATIC DONKEY (HEAD UP ITS ASS)
MARSHMALLOW ROAST
ME SO HOLY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME
SLAVERY GETS SHIT DONE
BLING-BLING
POP A SMURF
THIS T-SHIRT IS 100% ORGANIC
I SUPPORT SINGLE MOMS
GUESS HE CAN'T (BARACK OBAMA)
NOT TONIGHT LADIES I'M JUST HERE TO GET DRUNK

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WORST.GANGBANG.EVER

Halloween is this Saturday. When buying your candy, keep in mind there's a recession on. Those doughy little fuckers won't know they got cut-rate treats until it's too late to egg your house. Enjoy your Snockers, Kip-Kaps and expired Peeps, Porky.

The Yankees and Phillies are in the World Series. Yankees/Dodgers would've been ideal, but this could be exciting. The same way watching the Lakers play the best basketball team in Alaska would be exciting. Who am I kidding? This is baseball. The scenario in Field of Dreams could happen and it'd still be as interesting as watching Charlie Rose and Larry King play Tic-Tac-Toe.

After years of America having problems, the Dow recently hit 10,000. Many say this is arbitrary and means nothing to millions of still-struggling Americans. To them I say... 10,000 is a big number. I bet it even makes your government cheese taste better. Mmm... hollow accomplishment.

Meghan McCain stirred up controversy when she posted a racy picture of herself on Twitter. The daughter of a Republican leader should know better. The female body isn't for enjoyment; it's for spousal abuse and secret abortions.

It has been announced Sarah Palin will appear on Oprah in November to promote her new book. Palin and Oprah in the same room? Jesus Christ... Someone better tell Ann Coulter to steer clear of that studio lest the universe collapse in on itself into a black hole of obnoxious cunt. On a related note, the book itself appeared on Maury to reveal it feels dirty and cheap.

Just when you thought the recession had done all the damage it could, Garth Brooks is coming out of retirement. I don't see Garth being successful this time around. It was easy enough to lower the bar for country music in the early 90s, but what can he do now that Toby Keith has curbed that bar and drug it behind his truck?

Rihanna's racy new album cover shows her covered in nothing but barbed wire. Too bad she didn't do that a few months ago. As much as hip-hop stars love mistreating women, even Chris Brown may have reconsidered punching a bitch covered with tiny spikes. Anyway, at least now cattle will stop leaning on her.


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