NEXT BEST THING
I'VE STRETCHED OUT MORE CHICKS THAN
SO, WE COOL NOW? (BARACK OBAMA)
YES WE CAN ...MOVE TO CANADA
VIRGINS WANTED NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY
HOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE?
MEN WHO WEAR SANDALS GET WHAT THEY DESERVE
GIFT WRAP IS BACK
THIS T-SHIRT IS 100% ORGANIC
NOT TONIGHT LADIES I'M JUST HERE TO GET DRUNK
SLAVERY GETS SHIT DONE
ANTI-CHRIST '08 (BARACK OBAMA)
I FUCKING LOVE TO CUDDLE
I SUPPORT SINGLE MOMS
FUCKING CLASSY
I DIDNT COME HERE TO IMPRESS NONE OF YOU MOTHER FUCKERS
WHITE FLOUR
MY LIFE IS A VERY COMPLICATED
Torsopants

space
newsfromhell


head


WORST.GANGBANG.EVER

Thanksgiving is almost here, so go get your plane tickets and the fattest turkey at the supermar- Wait... I forgot about the recession. Okay... grab your cell phone, wait until you can use your free night time minutes, call your parents, put them on speaker, gather your kids around the table, and dig into your delicious Thanksgiving Whopper. Have a Happy Thanksgiving! And a Happy New Depression!

Bad news for any gay Californians (i.e. all of them) who want to get married: Proposition 8, a proposal banning same-sex marriage, was recently approved. As if that wasn't bad enough, there's even more bad news for gay Californians: you're fucking gay!

Ann Dunwoody, an Army lieutenant general, has become the first woman in US history to become a four-star general. I know you're curious, so I'll tell you. One star for cooking, one for cleaning, one for birthin', and one for foot massaging. Congratulations, Ann. Keep reaching for that glass ceiling, ladies! But mop the floor first.

Speaking of our first black president, [racist joke from the '50s with "Barack Obama" in place of "black guy."] You've already heard that one? But it's so fresh and original? Fine, here's a new one. Did you hear the one about Barack Obama's Cabinet appointments? They're all well-qualified politicians with plenty of experience and intelligence. BURN! Damn, Barack, you make this too easy.

President Bush recently announced that after he leaves office he may write a book. Either that or he'll just write "Mission Accomplished" and say he wrote a book. But seriously, the president doesn't get enough credit for his intelligence and I'm sure he'll produce a masterpiece. Confidentially, I got to review the book early and it's great. Near as I can tell, it's pretty much just Moby Dick with the whale replaced by a Chupacabra and any mention of Queequeg replaced with "Robo-George."

With Christmas just a few weeks away, stores are gearing up for the upcoming shopping season. And the hot toy for this Christmas season is: your child's imagination! Sorry, Little Billy, but it looks like Santa forgot to protect daddy's 401K.


long division

head

picture 1

As you may have heard, America recently elected a new Prime Minister, or whatever our equivalent is. I think it's, like, comptroller or something. To help move things along, I'll just refer to the office as president. George W. Bush has been our "president" for the past eight years and shortly Barack Obama will be handed the keys to the presidential go-carts and cotton candy machine. President Bush recently met with Obama to help smooth his transition into office. Below, some helpful advice given to the president-elect by the outgoing Commander in Chief.

The White House

The first thing you're going to want to do in your new home is remove the 'No coloreds' signs. Woodrow Wilson put them up in 1915 and there's really been no reason for subsequent presidents to take them down. Oh, and it's probably best to avoid the room containing "the button" altogether. 99 times out of 100 it won't even register, but there are those days when you see your poll numbers and Laura just won't shut her gob and you just want to be like "Fuck it!" One last thing: Sorry about those stains on the carpet. I'd had some bad Mexican and I knew I wasn't going to be able to make it to the bathr- I mean, sorry about what Barney did on the carpet.

Air Force One
picture 1

Oh my god! Don't even get me started about Air Force One! You know how once people have flown first class they say they can't go back to coach? Well, my friend, prepare to have all other forms of transportation ruined for the rest of your life. Compared to Air Force One, first class is like getting raped by the offensive line of the Steelers. Yes, Mr. Nosey, that happened to me. Sure, the food onboard is great and the seating is beyond comfortable, but once you've been allowed to firebomb a Kenyan village for no good reason, everything else in life pales in comparison. You'll probably want to avoid Kenya, but you know what I mean.

Your Administration

When selecting members for your Cabinet, it is important you choose the most qualified and intellig- I'm just fucking with you. You can pick whomever the hell you want. But there are a few parameters. First of all, the person you select for a cabinet position must actually exist. A lesson I learned the hard way when I found out Yosemite Sam wasn't going to be my Secretary of Defense. Secondly, you can't pick a 12-year-old to be your Secretary of Education. Although, I must say, his proposal titled "Homework Can Eat My Ass" was very convincing.

Secret Service

picture 1You'll get used to it eventually, but Secret Service will annoy the living shit out of you for quite a while. It's cool knowing I'm safe at all times, but I certainly wish I could grunt out a dump without Agent Harvick asking "You okay in there?" I suggest you have some fun with them. Every once in a while just slam a ketchup packet on your chest and scream. Also, you can totally order them to make out. Not that I'm into seeing two dudes tongue each other, but it's good to let them know who's running the show.

The Media

Fucking assholes. The whole lot of them. I suppose you'll have an easier time with them than I did, but I couldn't get out two words or sign one goddamn paper without a bunch of whiny cunts second-guessing me. "He appointed an unqualified yes-man to head FEMA... Boo hoo. He invaded a country with no ties to 9-11... Waaaah!" Well they can all lick George's barbecue-scented shit. It's bad enough when journalists insult me on policy, but I don't need some big-chinned wop making jokes about me because I say "nucular." I'd like to watch one fucking TV show without feeling like the fat kid at recess. At least I always had FOX News. I suppose BET will be a good default channel for you. Or Half-BET.

The Public
picture 1

Just ignore them. Half of them will love you and half of them will hate you and the one thing they all have in common is that they're fucking idiots. You could rape an elderly woman with your cock while raping a 10-year-old boy with your mouth and your supporters will still say it was a wise move. On the other hand, you could cure all known disease and invent a car that runs on a single eyelash for a year and your detractors will call you a bungling jackass. The public's opinion of you was decided when they saw the (D) next to your name. Just take everything they say with a grain of salt and a bag of weed.

Foreign Leaders

Oh, Jesus Christ - go ahead and grab a clothespin now. Fuck, it's like every country except America passed some law that says their leader has to smell like a goat. I don't care if they're from South America, Europe, Asia, or any other continent; prepare to have your olfactory system pummeled like a skinny child molester in prison. And when the UN gathers, I'd advise bringing your own oxygen. Good lord, it's like being locked in a room with a bucket of cum and a economy-sized jar of expired olives.

Personal

picture 1Kiss your social life goodbye. I never even did my job and I still didn't have any free time. All these assholes got pissed because I used more vacation time than any president in history, as if it were an actual vacation. "What's that? I get to spend all day on the phone pretending to care what a bunch of soldiers are saying to me right before I get rushed off to five photo ops? Yeah, I'll take another month of that!" You think I gave up coke and alcohol to be moral? Fuck no. I just didn't have time for it anymore. Did you see what Clinton was tapping? You think that was the best he could do? Hell no. ANY president could fuck something hotter than that. A chubby Jew is all he had time for. Michelle's going to be busy with her own bullshit while you're in office. If you plan on getting your knob slobbed any time in the next four years, I suggest you recruit your interns from the cover of Maxim.

Odds and Ends
picture 1

It's true. As president you will be privy to all sorts of sensitive information. The truth about Area 51, the Illuminati, everything. And let me do you a favor and tell you something nobody bothered to tell me: it's all fucking boring. So a little green man crashed on Earth in the '50s and a secret cabal controls the global economy... Big fucking deal. The world keeps on a-spinnin' same as it did before I knew all this shit. Can I still eat Twinkies and drink Old Milwaukee? Cool, go ahead and manipulate the Dow Jones. And while you already know about your pardons, you may not know you will be allowed five secret murders. I advise you to use them wisely. You're going to be tempted to use one on some asshole who stole your girlfriend in high school, or some Boy Scout leader who touched your butt; but trust me when I say you're going to meet a lot of people in the next few years who are far more deserving.

And one last note: Don't secretly execute a terrorist plot against America. You think you're going to secure your place in history, but all you're really doing is aging yourself ten years. Thanks for the advice, Cheney.

Comments (17) - View Comments - Add A Comment

billbudd  11/17/08 3:02 pm
Awesome!

d00d  11/17/08 3:46 pm
Fucking hell I ain't reading all that!

michelle bryant  11/17/08 6:49 pm
I think you guys ROCK. In the midst of a New Depression, your sick & twisted shirts are pure comic relief. I own SEVERAL! Keep up the shit.

Public Relations  11/17/08 10:21 pm
You forgot to tell him how he should hate black people and go old school when meeting dignitaries from Japan to make sure and puke on them. It will be awkward if he were to not honor that ancient tradition and make us Americans look bad to the rest of the world. Also if closing Gitmo sell licenses for the hunters to wait outside the gate as the inmates being let out, I'd pay $100 to be there and get my aim on. We could have a lottery like Gator hunters in Florida have to do. I'd love to mount one over my fireplace but I never win at lotteries.

Buck O\'Fama  11/17/08 11:36 pm
That wou be rather redundant wouldn't it PR? Everyone hates black people, most of us could do without the brown ones too. But I think we all know the worst ones are the 1/2 Muslim 1/2 Commie ones the Americans seem to love.

WMD  11/18/08 3:39 am
Absolutely love Bush's advice. I'm gonna plagiarize the shit out of that!

Aaron N  11/18/08 11:09 am
Some of that mad way too much sense to be from our President..

Angus McShagnasty  11/18/08 12:16 pm
I want to go all Captain Kirk on the green bitch.

shann  11/19/08 3:17 am
That is brilliant! Pure brilliance! Wish you had run for president. You make more sense than the whole lot of them put together.

Tattooed :D  11/19/08 8:03 am
Why are people (Like Esther, etc) monaing about the site, ON the site? if you open a site & don't like it, push the little red button at the top right with the white cross through it...that means that you can do 'something more productive' with your good energy.
Embellish that.

Slayer  11/19/08 8:31 pm
I hate niggers and muslims, too. Wait.....aren't they the one in the same?

Lt. Commander Data  11/19/08 10:33 pm
I love it! lmao... Obama is about as deserving and capable as the retard Mickey D's cleanup boy. Keep spreading the gospel! :)

cheribom  11/20/08 1:21 am
subsequent? parameters?? olfactory?! cabal?!?! Are we really expected to believe Georgie knows those words?

KB  11/20/08 10:21 am
I've always loved your blogs... but Bush's advice has got to be your funniest

o.O  11/20/08 8:44 pm
I'd have to agree, Bush doesn't know half of those words, must have been someone else writing it for him.. Either way it's hilarious.

d00d, maybe you "ain't" reading all that because you can't read? And why bother posting if you ain't readin all that. Do big words scare you?

Iman Azol  11/27/08 8:33 am
As a lame duck, Bush probably shouldn't go hunting with Cheney.

And apparently, while looking for a White House dog, Obama was advised by Clinton to look for a husky female.

SkAtX  11/28/08 5:53 am
Fuck Yea! like who gives a shit about that crap anyway...


MOO!
space


-----Original Message-----

9/11 was an inside job... From: Esther

You guys and probably gals, are unconscionable. Really. Can't you take all the good energy, when you find it, and put it to something more productive?? I find your products totally insulting, degrading, and worthless. Try and bring yourselves up from the fray instead of embellishing it.

Editor's Note: Go eat a tumorous dick, you waste of vagina.

How about if instead of chastising us for misusing positive energy, you put your own positive energy to good use? The time and energy wasted writing this email could've been put to use helping an old lady cross the street, or poisoning a sandwich and giving it to a homeless guy.

The point is, you have to BE the change you want to see in the world. And I hope the change you want to see in the world is your face being stomped on by my hiking shoes.

Comments (21) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Dom  11/17/08 1:02 pm
i gotta say,
as funn as this was, these hate-mail comebacks have really lost their punch.
must be a new writer.

jason  11/17/08 1:17 pm
okay, Mrs. Esther. If you disagree with tshirthell and these writers so much... WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE ??? Go feed your arguementative, gossip whore self some bitch-food elsewhere. You people are the headache in this world ! Find some fucking humor in life and get over yourself ! If you do not like what is placed or typed (said) on this website, then delete it from your browser and post-it note and stay the hell away from those of us who enjoy the humor in it all. The fact that you continue to keep crawling back to check up on them and spew your bullshit infected disgrace for an opinion is both sad and hillarious. There isnt anyone on the planet that is going to give a shit, seriously. Take their advice (tshirthell, not your imbred, hillbilly family or retarded friends that fuel your bullshit.

Kevlar  11/17/08 2:13 pm
HAHAHA
^the inbred called her "imbred"

billbudd  11/17/08 3:06 pm
I remember Esther, red-headed slut. I ate her pussy, gave her multiple orgasms and she still found something to bitch about.

Fred  11/17/08 8:29 pm
Yeah, maybe T-shirt Hell and it's regular customers should do something more productive. How about following PETA's example and pouring red paint on somebody wearing fur. Why not hand out pamphlet's to little kids with pictures of bloody animals on them, then tell them their mommy did this. I know! Let's beat the shit out of an abortion clinic employee. Get a life that is truly your own and not some goody two shoes that doesn't fucking exist. How the Hell did you find this page anyway? Was it written on the back of some religious pamphlet you found while dishing soup out to the homeless? By the way, the FRAY is where the fun is!

samantha  11/17/08 9:44 pm
It never ceases to amaze me how many morons visit T SHIRT HELL and then get upset at the insulting t shirts they sell. It's not called T SHIRT HEAVEN, morons! Duh!

Pocked Cock  11/17/08 9:48 pm
Dear Esther, I have been trying to locate you for some time to return that ethics handbook I borrowed but I see you are well versed in being a good Christian person so I will pass it forward to other creeps as I was prior to your intervention and now I am cured as you. How silly to think that there are people out there who are not perfect like us still around. You'd think society has evolved from the dimwitted freethinkers such as can be found on this internet thing. I really want you to know that I will be starting a chapter of "good energy towards being productive" in my cellblock and I hope to change the world like you, one anal rapist at a time starting with my roomie. Good news he is starting to come around to our way of thinking and it's only a matter of time before T-Shirt Hell see's the light as well. Your holy friend, Spotted Dick

Buck O'Fama  11/17/08 11:08 pm
I beleive "imbred" is the Dan Quayle version of inbred. Of course in Ebonics it doesn't make any differance what the fuck you say. Change biotches.

Aaron N  11/18/08 11:13 am
Although pretty lame, like the first comment states, I'm glad she still has the ENERGY to respond. After reading a million of these exact same emails, I would certainly have given up responding by now.

EMTCC48  11/18/08 5:48 pm
Wow it's hard to beleive that Esther & Evil Cheryl are not only real people, but their totally missing the joke. Lighten up ladies ! See the irony, oh that's right you don't get it.

Well Editor, I love your shirts, I laugh often & buy alot. Thanks for keeping it entertaining.

An obviously depraved fan of your products (according to Ester & Evil Cheryl)

Jenny  11/18/08 10:48 pm
haha what a douche. here's an idea, don't come to the website! its supposed to be insulting and rude, thats the fun in it! and these people have more money than "Esther" could ever dream of.

Slivertech  11/19/08 8:33 am
Whenever I'm feeling a little down, suddenly my morning brightens again. Please disregard those who find this not fun to read.

24ktop  11/19/08 10:27 am
What would you give to make a bitchy hateful dumb ass smile again? What would you sacrifice to bring joy to a heartless beeyotch? And perhaps save her children from endless recitations of verses and hymns? You can make the world a better place TODAY!! Send your contributions to www.getestherlaid.com. With the money you send, we'll hire a man whore to do her up right, real good! We hear Joey down on the corner is giving it up - complete with the Shanghai Chute - for only $75!! That's all we need, people!! Send what you can, and send it now! And when you're done, go bake some stuff to sell, and send that in TOO!

And, God bless America!!

lpona  11/19/08 11:22 am
Esther,Cheryl,if you are the two spotted cows,I want you to know,I am hung like a bull.

chris s  11/19/08 2:10 pm
esther, you are a fuckin idiot. good energy my asshole how about you take all your "good energy" and drop your pants and put it to good use.

bobby  11/19/08 7:35 pm
ok who really read what she said i was 2 busy staring at the pic

Still on the floor  11/19/08 8:34 pm
"Go eat a tumorous dick, you waste of vagina." This response put me on the floor laughing for five minutes. I've known a lot of wastes of vagina, but just never was able to properly verbalize a description. Now I have it! Thanks for the laughs, and I hope some of your critics find their senses of humor. Oh wait, they don't HAVE any sense!

Slayer  11/19/08 8:34 pm
"Be the change you wish to see in the world." Didn't Ghandi say that right before someone shot him in his ass?

Rachelle  11/20/08 9:11 pm
I think that people who have nothing better to do with their day than look for websites, music, movies, pictures...etc...are worthless. If you don't like this website, don't fucking come here. There are "normal" every day people who like to wear funny shirts and do other things with their free time besides criticizing others.

Andy  11/21/08 5:31 pm
"Go eat a tumorous dick, you waste of vagina."? Thats some of the funniest shit Ive ever heard. God bless all of you.

Donovan  11/23/08 4:45 pm
Wow,good point.


joy division

-----Original Message-----

From: Cheryl

I think your page is totally hurtful and you people really need your asses kicked. Free speach is one-thing but my God how cruel can you be

Your evil
Cheryl

Editor's Note: Oh yeah? Well I think YOUR page is totally hurtful and you need YOUR ass kicked. Doesn't feel so good, does it? To you we're just a faceless corporation, but there are individuals who actually read your emails and are affected by them. Our feelings aren't hurt, per se, but you really do a number on whichever muscles we need to sigh and roll our eyes.

And, to answer your question, we can't be nearly as cruel as we'd like to be. Thanks a lot, anti- setting the elderly on fire laws.

Anyway, thanks for the email, our evil Cheryl. Oh, you meant... never mind.

“Your” fucking stupid
Editor

Comments (20) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Brian  11/17/08 12:56 pm
Maybe this tool could learn how to fucking spell it's SPEECH you fucking jerkoff go fuck yourself.

billbudd  11/17/08 3:09 pm
Isn't getting your ass kicked hurtful? Hypocrisy rules!

corky  11/17/08 4:27 pm
please get laid Cheryl and lighten up.

mr poopy  11/17/08 5:42 pm
Yeah, how cruel can you be? You make shirts that make people laugh. What ass holes!

canadian smartass  11/17/08 6:13 pm
Maybe it's pointless to comment on the grammar and spelling but it does seem somewhat important that if one's going to write and lambaste a corporation for their behaviour, one might at least take the time to turn on spell and grammar check! Especially if one doesn't know the difference between their, they're and there, or you're and your. It's particularly idiotic to be writing emails complaining about free speech when one can't even spell the word "speech" correctly. It kind of sucks the legitimacy out of your complaint when you can't even spell correctly (and the word you mispell is the thing you're actually writing to complain about). How about taking some remedial lessons at night school before adding to the glut of brainless morons who couldn't graduate from high school but earn enough in their union blue collar job to own a house, car and computer! (Or even worse and much more likely - actually DID graduate from High School or College and STILL can't write, spell, speak or communicate effectively in their own native tongue!) Small wonder the editor at TSH has little time for dorks like this wet rag and write back with such vitriolic, sarcastic, snide commentary in response. It looks great on you Cheryl - please write to TSH again! I enjoyed the laugh.

Cheryls Friend  11/17/08 10:06 pm
Dear My EviL CheryL, I too am confused that cruely laws have gotten out of hand. It seems that there's no law in place to limit free thought and at a time like this when we clearly see that most will benefit from having your wishes imposed on their freewill. I will personally get my grandpa and all his cohorts that are still living and do not suffer from lack of bowel control and march on Washington to put an end to this attrocity. We will call it the three man march for bowel movement and make sure to get plenty of publicity to bring light to your crusade. I hope one day I get to meet you face to face so I can kiss your feet for starting this movement. Sincerely, your evil friend in bowel movement solidarity.

Angus McShagnasty  11/17/08 11:22 pm
What the Hell are you talking about? You fuckers don't even know what bacon is. "Canadian bacon" what the fuck is that?? Not real bacon, I can tell you that. I am however impressed that you can spell one repeatedly, obviously you have some talent, unfortunately spelling one seems to be the extent of it though. Of course you know why I am standing up for Cheryl, the dumber they are the better the head, nothing beats droolin' tard head,,,

Cheryl's used tampon  11/18/08 3:24 am
Blow me, bitch!

8===================D

vince  11/18/08 7:52 am
try using spell check you dipshit

mark AKA Toker  11/18/08 8:30 am
Fuck you Bitch. Im wearin a FUCK YOU YOU FUCKN FUCK beater today...just for you! We wear what we want when we want an dont give a shit what you think. Get a fuckn life. Im having my chick put a shirt we got our baby on for you today...it says MY DADS A MUTHER FUCKER (start em young...hell yea!

Aaron N  11/18/08 11:16 am
"Free speach is one thing, but..."
Hahaha great argument, I never thought of it that way. So stupid!

Mryant85  11/18/08 2:18 pm
I want to take a diarrhea dump in your ear

Braun Schlong  11/18/08 6:11 pm
Dear Cheryl,

Thanks for suckin' my pole back into shape after I fucked your mother's shit hole. I was surprised how tight HER wink-eye is compared to yours.

Cheryl Hater  11/18/08 10:51 pm
you know your basically using free speech to rag on someone about them using free speech.... your one dumb cunt for that one, if your gonna bitch about something, make a reasonable argument for it!

The guy who pissed in cheryl's cheerios  11/18/08 11:38 pm
Hey Cheryl Hater,
You are. you are, you're, you're, not your, you dumb Cheryl-twat licking re-re. Promise me you won't breed. If you went through all that to comment on how much of a retard Cheryl was for using the first to gripe about someone using the first, and you still were a big enough tardomatic to use 'your' to say you are, then you are ten times the chest slapping left ear chewing drool machine that she is.

Chopstx  11/19/08 9:23 am
That might just be the worst portrait of The Question I've ever seen...and Vic Sage was ugly-as-fuck to begin with...

Kaiden  11/19/08 5:30 pm
Fuck Cheryl, you guys fucking rock. I reccomend this site to all my friends.. and some of my enemies as well.. lmao

Slayer  11/19/08 8:40 pm
Angus is the shit!!!

Cheryl is a mindless cunt. What's wrong with something that's a little hurtful? If we spent our time worrying about who we hurt, then nothing would ever be funny. Like the retard that gets hit by the same bus that just dropped him off. What hurts more, the retard getting hit or your side from laughing so hard after watching him get hit? Think about it!

Lt. Commander Data  11/19/08 10:43 pm
Free speech is free speech. I can say what I want. Exempli gratia, osculari pudendum tuum die omni et die Solis bis volo; ergo, femora tua aperi et lingum meum exspecta. No clue what I just said? Tough shit; you spent too much time bashing this fine site to learn your Latin. Otherwise, you'd be more pissed off at me than them, which would accomplish nothing but making me laugh all the louder... pax tibi! :p

monica  11/22/08 4:26 am
get a life CHERYLLLLL. if u dont like it dont look. you dont have piss and moan about everything in the world just cuz it's there. just piss off. ;)


division of labor

-----Original Message-----

From: Laurie

What party do you support democrats or republicans?? thanks laurie

Editor's Note:This is an easy one. The Hudson River. OH! How did I blow that!?

To be frank, we support whichever party is currently in power, whatever their affiliation may be. So, what does that make us at the moment? I guess we're Socialists. Oh... great granny shaving SNAP! I did not just go there!

Okay, okay, I'll answer you seriously this time. We support all politicians. Why choose between Party A and Party B when they're all performing the same task? "What task?" you ask. (Hey, I'm a poet and I didn't even rape one) The task of presenting you with the illusion of choice while secretly controlling the global economy and spiking your water supply with yak semen. You know, for fertility purposes.

Comments (7) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Brian  11/17/08 12:55 pm
fuck democrats.. this chick is a fuckin hippie just trying to get us to all hold hands and rub each other cocks!!!!!

Hyper  11/17/08 3:13 pm
GODDAMMIT! When did the government make the switch from llama semen to yak semen?? I DEMAND TO BE KEPT INFORMED!! FUCK!!

Tasha  11/19/08 2:01 am
Hudson Party 2012!

digdug40oz  11/19/08 3:19 am
Oh hey, this chick is a libertarian. Let me say, FUCK RON PAUL. YEAH!!

Buck O'Fama  11/19/08 11:37 am
I support whatever party is willing to give out vouchers for free fried chicken, watermellon and malt liquor. Free government cheese would be nice too, let the oppressers pay for it.
Change is coming biotches!!!

Slayer  11/19/08 8:43 pm
The party I support is Coors Light because I don't care for Bud Light!

harkin  11/21/08 7:12 pm
I will defend to the death your right to wipe up ants with a wet paper towel.

does this remind you of your favorite pair of panties?

-----Original Submission-----

From: Robyn H.

Hello! ;)sorry, you don't know me but maybe I want to know you ;)...I am not bad body pretty girl...I very want to meet man of my dream, i dont know how should he to look...but maybe it's you?

I have a lot of time for meetings and if you have any ideas how to spend it with me... just email me back at ROBYN @ off****.com i will reply back with some really cool photos with me ...and maybe you will want to meet me next day))) see you . kiss

Best regards

Editor's Note: Ooh... well aren't you the naughty little vixen? I can't really be the "man" of your dreams, but we can totally hook up. I can easily strap something on if the cock is a deal breaker for you. If I were a man, I assume I'd be hung like a thermos, so you may want to start doing kegels and looking into a good vagina repairman now.

The fact that you wrote this as a character that hasn't mastered the English language suggests to me you may be kidding. If that's the case, you may want to start praying now. Because if a week or two from now we still haven't done the deed (eaten each other's frozen poop), I will hunt you down and do things to your body that will make Hitler's ghost weep.

In either case, see you at Thanksgiving!

Comments (13) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Brian  11/17/08 12:57 pm
That was my mom that sent you that.. ill let you put her in a snuff film for a free tshirt

Donkey shit fucker  11/17/08 1:57 pm
I get these emails all the time. They make me sick. They make me puke like a baby gagging on my WEE-WEE!!!

Angus McShagnasty  11/17/08 11:27 pm
Yo Brian, I'll give you 2 cigarettes, $4 and a t-shirt for your mom, but she will have to earn it befor the end of my film.

Aaron N  11/18/08 11:18 am
Oh, and also, you won the UK lottery and an inheritance from Nigeria. Add me to your MSN!

Al  11/18/08 11:23 am
Cīmon guys, is so funny to play those scammers... Promise a new building for her Church of the Ugly Virgins.

Braun Schlong  11/18/08 6:15 pm
Dear Robyn H.,

You have the prettiest teeth I've ever cum across ...

Robyn H  11/18/08 7:04 pm
Here is the picture of me that I promised:

[IMG]http://i36.tinypic.com/35c3d3q.jpg[/IMG]

Jacky Mehoff  11/18/08 8:17 pm
Wow, I wouldn't pay her to lick my ass in singapore for $20.

Ty  11/18/08 10:47 pm
just put a bag over her head and shes ok i guess

Laura  11/19/08 5:06 am
I love you guys! Your t-shirts rawk! :) I'm sure you know this already but just in case ye are ever questioned about the awesomeness of your shirts you can say "well that irish chick likes them so there!" Not like that'd make a difference but wahey! :)

Figment Image  11/19/08 11:47 am
Really? I mean, c'mon. Seriously? Are they that starved for material that they're now putting responses to spam in the Hate Mail? Guys, I love T-Shirt Hell and always look forward to the Thing, but it would be TOTALLY ok if you just didn't do a Hate Mail once in a while. Really. We won't hold it against you. It's better than... this.

Slayer  11/19/08 8:51 pm
Send that slut my way. She'll be begging and crying to leave the U.S. before I finish with her ass!!!

Roderick  11/21/08 5:35 am
if you don't want her I could be the man of her dreams!!give her my email addy,,btw,,I love your rude sensless news letter and fwd it to all my friends,,except my mom, she wouldn't understand!!

division of labor

[Goodbye Yellow Brick Chode]

Judge not lest ye be tea-bagged by a trucker.

Peace

 


 
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