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long division


Happy Thanksgiving, Native Americans. Get it? It's funny because Native Americans aren't allowed to own computers. And even if they did own computers they'd just be like "Why do I own this thing that can't get me drunk?" Other races are fun.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, don't forget the Black Friday sales. Go for the $100 flat-screens, stay for the fat ladies getting trampled to death. And remember to send pictures of yourself enjoying massively discounted products to the Asian kids who made it possible. It's what baby Jesus would've wanted.

9-11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is being brought to trial in New York. You know he'll just get a slap on the wrist like the death penalty. If we truly care about justice, we will settle for nothing less than making the victims' families fly planes into him. Eat hot Christian justice, Habib!

NASA just announced they have discovered a significant amount of water on the moon's surface. So wait... science is eager to find more water? So why are we worried about melting ice caps? Looks like I took a healthy dump all over your "logic." Suck it, science!

Twilight's sequel, New Moon, just came out. I went to see it. And for the first 30 minutes I thought it was yet another 3-D movie, but it turns out all those douchebags were IN the theater. But they did introduce a different innovation for the film. I just can't believe the theater found enough gay dudes to man a glory-hole at every seat.

Speaking of movies, the Oprah and Tyler Perry endorsed "Precious" has become a surprise hit. It's the story of an overweight black girl living in Harlem. And, brace yourselves, she's not played by Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence or a Wayans brother. She's an honest-to-god fat girl. Thank goodness. Actual fat people are so much funnier than comedy cancer wrapped in a fat suit.

Comments (10) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Aaron  11/23/09 4:57 pm
I agree. Black people naming their worthless kids things like "Precious" is some pretty funny shit.

Lt. Commander Data  11/24/09 1:13 am
They're Indians, not Native American anything. I know I'm 1/16 Cherokee, if not more, and that part of me is Injun (nobody's perfect). My drunk brethren came from the steppes of Asia; crossed the Alaskan land bridge; and infested the Americas all the way down to the Tierra del Fuego. They're as Native American as a Chinaman, which they're closer to anyhow...

nugget_the_ninja  11/25/09 12:54 am
haha wow. I fucking love you crazy bastards

Scarecrobot  11/25/09 1:04 am
Don't forget names like Destiny, Special, and Princess. I've met black chics with ALL of those names. 0_0

IMO: Precious doesn't interest me at all. I don't need or want to see a movie about an obese girl getting knocked up by her dad. I can find more entertaining shit to depress me.

Iman Azol  11/25/09 2:33 am
I'm 1/64th ninja.

Closet New Moon fanatic  11/25/09 10:44 am
Don't forget that singer Fantasia. And Alliya or whatever her name is. Is she the one who died in a plane crash or was that Alicia Keyes?

Mikeyroteuthis  11/25/09 12:43 pm
Big black chick, with two kids already, and her name is Precious...I bet the pussy was the shit...

JOKER  11/25/09 2:33 pm
i'm native american and that was funny, new moon ? last time i saw one was on my new girl friend

bugsike  11/29/09 12:18 pm
Mmmmmm. Serial killer and cannibal Albert Fish said the best and most tender meat was childrens buttocks. I suggest wiping the spooge off before cooking if you have molested the corpses first. Maybe that should only apply to little boys?

Yuggib  11/30/09 4:22 pm
Where in the hell do black people come up with these names (not to say that white trash don't name their brats with stupid shit, cause they do too!) At least after "Roots" aired on TV, there was some reason to understand calling some nappy head "Kunta Kinte Johnson." I suspedt that its all the crack and weed the parents smoked.

long division


picture 1

This may come as a shock to those of you have seen me purchase five dogs at a time just to see which breed burns longest, but I recently became a vegan. Call me a "pussy" or a "faggot" if you like (Not you, Andy Rooney. You need to stop), but I have fallen prey to PETA's incredibly harsh and in-your-face tactics.

I simply can no longer go on eating poor, defenseless animals. I mean, I don't want to be the one responsible for robbing a creature of a rich and fulfilling life that consists of a couple years of eating grass and shitting in the dirt.

In fact, it isn't enough that we stop eating animals. I say we start repaying these majestic beasts for the centuries of domestication and slaughter we've forced upon them. And what better way to make it up to these oppressed creatures than to destroy the very thing preventing their freedom? Yes, I am suggesting we start eating humans. We will now do for animals what Abe Lincoln failed to do for the slaves: eat their oppressors.

pic 2So I'd like to present my all-human Thanksgiving menu which I hope will, in some small way, make up for a lifetime of snuffing out life that would've had so much value. So many oinks left un-oinked, so many pools of feces not wallowed in... Tragic. That said, here is a list of traditional Thanksgiving dishes and what I have found to be the most suitable replacements. Enjoy.

Turkey and stuffing: Baby-stuffed midgets. Remember to use your own baby to make the stuffing. Store-bought babies are permissible if you don't have a baby, but you just can't taste the love.

Ham: Black guy's upper-thigh. As any cannibalistic serial killer worth his salt can tell you, few dishes provide a more succulent meal than a black man's upper thigh. However, it should be noted that this dish will leave you hungry and paranoid.

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Green bean casserole: Old people; various races/parts. No group replicates the unpleasant taste and texture of green bean casserole quite like the elderly. So this Thanksgiving, reserve a quarter of your plate for Grandpa Herb, and let him be that stuff you shovel down the disposal in disgust.

Cranberry sauce: Your retarded cousin. All that Play-Doh he eats will make him easy to shape into the much preferred can-shaped log of sauce. Don't let your mom turn him into that homemade shit that looks like something you puked up after five shots. "Biting Jimmy" deserves better.

Mashed potatoes and gravy: Mashed homeless people. Because you can tell they're salty just by looking at them and being beaten down by life has probably left them soft but with just the right amount of firmness. Also, they eat the shit you throw away, so when you think about it, they're already something you wouldn't mind eating.

your momCandied yams: Samoans. Just like yams, Samoans are quite disgusting to look at, but then you eat one and it's like "Hey, these are actually pretty damn good." And don't think you can cut corners by eating just any Pacific Islanders. If you eat a guy from Papua New Guinea you might as well be eating a guy from Newark.

Pumpkin pie: Woman pie. This one is so obvious it's like requesting Mr. Pibb when the restaurant doesn't have Dr. Pepper. Because much like pumpkins, the only thing that gives women any value is their pie. If it weren't for the pie, would you really tolerate the presence of either of these things? Another similarity? Putting whipped cream on it helps distract from how disgusting it truly is.

Comments (14) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Allison Harbin  11/23/09 2:05 pm
I've been saying this for years! Finally someone else has joined the cause.

Lt. Commander Data  11/24/09 1:20 am
Don't be so fast to think slaves didn't eat their masters. You know it had to have happened once or twice (a week). I like your international-style fare, too... Samoan, black African, Pacific Islander... invite me over for the luau :)

Greg  11/24/09 11:48 am
Thank you so much for your monthly "thing" and all of your responses to all of disgusted, and upset people that have nothing better to do than bitch about some tshirts...You always make me laugh(out loud) and brighten my day. Cheers

showmeonthedollywherethebadmantouchedyou  11/24/09 4:05 pm
If they didn't have pie, we'd throw stones at them!

Jizzle-Bopper  11/24/09 6:26 pm
I'm all for cannibalism (or, humanitarianism, as liberals call it) but why get so fancy: whatever's wrong with just eating the cock?

Evil Tony  11/24/09 10:11 pm
Don't forget about shaved Canadians. They're high in fiber and easily pass through your colon. It's great for a desert topping.

deliciousHAMS  11/25/09 1:52 am
really a black mans upper thigh how uneducated disgusting and wrong you are for saying that do you even think about what you are writing really pull your head out. You cannot possibly brine the flavors that you would want in a ham into the thigh of someone that runs all the time you should use an Asians, someone that sits in front of a computer all day and doesnt use their legs so that you can inject pleanty of flavor into the meat and then brine and smoke for optimal flavor and taste. they may not be as big but really do you want to serve your holiday guests the biggest toughest ham or do you want to give then the best quality ham you can cut off of a person. come one quality people

Iman Azol  11/25/09 2:45 am
Roast Peasant Under Glass. Baked Alaskan. Better than Cat on a Hot Tin Plate.

Scott  11/25/09 9:37 am
People, in general, don't taste very good. This is mostly because we're carnivores. If you're going to eat someone make sure it's a vegetarian. Mmmm delicious!

orochi  11/25/09 12:10 pm
haha, one day all of you veggies will be cattle to feed us carnivores!! and BTW you are eating meat secretly, on your lettuce salads there's bugs, you eat bugs dude!!

joker  11/25/09 2:35 pm
i eat them because they eat my grass even the roaches damn them all to hell

Eating women...  11/28/09 11:18 am
I eat pussy pie. Guess that counts as eating women. Better than long pig; nonfattening; appreciative screams; followed by the blowjob which is 10 minutes of lovely silence. :)

tom  11/28/09 11:40 am
a page on website, has instructions on processing a human body if as it were an animal like a cow or deer. just like ed geien or fritz harrmon did. see, learning can be fun.

bugsike  11/29/09 12:20 pm
Oops. My comments about Albert Fish and young childrens buttocks belongs here, not above. An yway, he ldid say they were the best meat!!!


-----Original Message-----

From: /Doug

Are you people so stupid as to not expect people to be offended at how you portrayed Jesus? I thought it was the most stupid thing anyone could do. What are you? Taliban, You seem to have a terrorist attitude.

9/11 was an inside job...

Editor's Note: Ridiculous. If I had a terrorist attitude, little chunks of my organs and bone shards would be splattered all over a bunch of dead kindergarteners. But since I'm not a terrorist, those kids were only burned alive.

You Christians are so concerned about us crossing a line with the church that you fail to notice we've crossed the line with a much more dangerous group: the Smurfs.

Ever since "Pop a Smurf" we have received countless threatening and disturbing emails. Stuff like "I'm going to Smurf your throat, collect your Smurf in a bag and Smurf it all over your mother while I Smurf my Smurf all over her lower Smurftestines."

So you and that pussy Jesus can fuck off. I've got more pressing things to worry about. I don't even want to think about what Brainy Smurf is going to do to my daughter's hymSmurf.

Comments (14) - View Comments - Add A Comment

dOOmShrOOm  11/23/09 6:13 pm
T-shirt hell "not" expecting people to be offended is like "not expecting" Obama to indulge in a bucket of KFC every once and a while or "not expecting" Kate Moss to gag herself every hour on the hour. Want something really offensive Doug? Google "rape".

Lt. Commander Data  11/24/09 1:25 am
Who is the -babe- with the machine gun? As long as she's not a tranny, she can swallow my rounds any day of the week (and twice on the Muslim sabbath, whenever the fvck that is). Is she an employee? Does she have a bf, or a (twin?) sister? Please let me know; you have my email addy, and I just dig sexy Arab broads who can clean my M-16... :D

On topic, if you don't like seeing Jesus lampooned, don't visit this site. Go off and pray away your impure thoughts. Like wishing Michael Vick were on your fantasy team...

joey thyen  11/24/09 12:59 pm
yeahhh fuck jesus

Luwinkle  11/24/09 6:54 pm
Hey, no need to label all of us Christians like that. Most of us that have a sense of humor (and aren't overly uptight) don't mind it. ;)

amanda  11/24/09 7:10 pm
I agree smurfs can be brutal. I was once was smufed in my smuf. couldn't sit for a week.

ashmang  11/25/09 12:02 am
jesus was gay. Think about it, he had a six pack hang around with sailors/fishermen and the his going away party was just a bunch of guys drinking in dresses.

Lorrel Mae  11/25/09 2:37 am
I so very much LOVE you!

Iman Azol  11/25/09 2:48 am
What's the difference between Christ and a crucifix?

You only need one nail for the crucifix.

Arc Cahlon  11/25/09 6:03 am
thank you doug please accept our deepest sincerity you are so right how could we be so blind. I mean a site denoting hell in its tilte daring to offend jesus. why didnt some one tell us sooner our horrible error. like the 300 other christians who visit here?
ok honestly we didnt give 2 fucks what they said and guess what? we dont care what you say either. eat shit fuck off and die and your god is dead. hail satan. oh and a side of suck my dick please.

V.W.P.  11/25/09 2:17 pm
People. Leave Doug alone. Can't you see he's only looking out for our well being clearly he cares deeply not only about T-Shirt Hell, but about us as people and we should... I'm just kidding. Go fuck yourself Doug.

joker  11/25/09 2:39 pm
terorist ? the terrorist 's were the ones that nailed him up there for thier belief's

dino goposaur  11/28/09 8:13 am
moran, Jesus is revered as a prophet by Muslims.
penis vagina

shawn  12/06/09 9:17 pm
dino, It's spelled "moron" you fucking idiot. Doug, go fuck yourself.

R  12/07/09 3:50 pm
Man, I'd love to annihilate all of you worthless pieces of dog shit.

joy division

-----Original Message-----

haFrom: Tyson K.

I was looking for some funny Christmas shirts for me and my family and I came across your disgusting shirts. This is hardly in the spirit of Christmas and I cant imagine why anyone would buy such things. If you choose to denagrate the most holy of days I wish you would do so in private.

Editor's Note: So, did you find our shirts to be disgusting before or after you came across them? How did you manage to cum across them anyway? I don't recall any of our shirts looking like a hairy anus. But I guess people see what they want to see. Which is why this response to your email probably reads like "[Throbbing cock] [Ballsack] [Hairy ass] [Sperm on lower back]"

And for your information, I do denigrate Christmas in private. Just because I do it publicly doesn't mean I stop when I'm alone. Because unlike preachy douches like you, I'm not a fucking hypocrite. I talk shit about Jesus whether I have an audience of zero or a thousand.

Whereas you send whiny emails about the spirit of Christmas one moment and touch your kids' buttholes the next moment. Wait... I think touching kids' buttholes might actually be in the spirit of Christmas. At least it is if you want it to be. That easily distorted book of yours sure is convenient.

Merry "Putting-on-an-act-for-the-neighbors" Day, everybody!

Comments (11) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Lt. Commander Data  11/24/09 1:34 am
If you can't properly spell denigrate, Tyson, then I shall dyenuhgreat you in return. These shirts are funny, not disgusting. And Christmas is a holy day, sure, but so is every other day. We just worship Jesus AND material goods on Christmas.

Also, if you're a real Christian, you'll know that Christmas is NOT "the most holy of days" in our calendar. That would be Easter, which commemorates the Resurrection. And with that, go off and resurrect your schwantz to a pic of Anna Nicole Smith...

Ryan  11/24/09 8:21 am
This is the fucking funniest T-shirt site ever,love the old ones love the new ones fuckin funny man, keep up the fucking great work. supress the unfunny.

Iman Azol  11/25/09 2:51 am
I celebrate Easter the old fashioned way. By nailing a Jew to a cross, and fucking a virgin, so I have a fresh Jew for Christmas.

Arc Cahlon  11/25/09 6:44 am
congradulations tyson you fail. since when the hell is santa clause or hallmark the holiest christian holiday (figure?) also do you even read the bible? the 3 shepards brought gifts to baby jesus. shepards dont tend the flocks in the field in the dead of winter. the date is wrong. it was put in place because some one thought it be a good advertising ploy. and to get it going he used jesus. so step off our asses if we do it too. everyone needs to eat ya know

spoonie  11/25/09 9:34 am
Nothing says holy day like a funny shirt, yo.

Heretical Hottie  11/25/09 1:44 pm
Haha. Seriously. Good call Arc, though the date was not chosen as an advertising ploy (well, in a sense...), but because it made it easier to force my pagan peoples into submission by tricking them into thinking "hey, it's pretty much the same thing, right?" Yulemas is where alot of the current BS comes from - Wreaths, wassail, christmas tree with lights on it, gift giving (sacrificing/offering), Yule logs (big ol bonfires back in the good days), and even the name Christmas - a convenient perversion of Christ and Yulemas. It represented for us the birth of the Sun King for the year, and hey, son/sun? Sure! WHY THE FUCK NOT?! Seemed like a good day to co-opt! So thank your people for me, Tyson, as I hold a ritual gathering this solstice in relative secrecy, as I'd have the local god-hates-you troops in this podunk town all over us, and have to face the persecution that your people cant seem to get enough of. So THANKS, this Thanksgiving, for the genocidal awesomeness your people have inflicted on the world for the last 2000 years! W00T!

joker  11/25/09 2:41 pm
hahahahahahahaha love it......

V.W.P.  11/25/09 2:48 pm
Yeah. Seriously. Some of the things I do to denigrate Christmas can only be done in private. I'm talkin some freaky shit man...

Fuck Buddy International  11/25/09 8:59 pm
To whom it may concern,

We at Fuck Buddy International would like to comment people for taking an interest int he political correctness of others. However, in the spirit of "all's well that ends well", why don't you get a fucking clue and realize that people don't give a fuck about Christmas (Saturnalia, Sol Invictus, Yule, feast of the Son of Isis, or whichever version of the pagan holiday you'd like) anymore. The entire season is a giant ploy to suck the money out of people's wallets in order to fund next year's over-exaggerated celebration of a "god", "son of god" or "infant savior". I'm going to take the side of the editor on behalf of all of us at Fuck Buddy International and tell you to do your research before you start claiming the most holy of days for a bunch of other so-called Christians who most likely disagree. And for the love of all that's hilariously offensive: D-E-N-I-G-R-A-T-E! So, in all, Tyson K., go fuck ytour self and keep all your pompous, holier-than-thou, self righteous shit to your own church. Fuck Christmas and all of the above.


Fuck Buddy International

GMan  11/26/09 9:12 am
Saveeeeeeeee me jeeeeeeeeebus. Damn, I didn't know Tipper Gore wrote in to you guys with an alias.

bugsike  11/29/09 12:26 pm
God thats a nice watch!!!!

division of labor

ha-----Original Message-----

From: Betty & Daniel

Am I mistaken or do you actually have a shirt for babies that says (Hung like a five year old) spelled out in little cocks? I don't know if that's too insensitive or just to crude

Either way, I can't believe some one would actually sell something like that. Whats the problem, was there no money to be made in stripper poles for babies?

Editor's Note: Since you brought it up, no, there was no money to be made in stripper poles for babies. It never really clicked with the public for whatever reason. Aside from the occasional "early release" you may suffer during a lapdance, you never really do anything with a stripper, so I honestly don't see what people's big hang-up was with putting their babies on the pole.

So there's your answer to that, smartass. Which one of you wrote this anyway: Betty or Daniel? In the past I would've naturally assumed it was Betty, but as the previous email shows, in the 21st century men are every bit as brain-faggoted as women. God bless these "all genders and races are equally moronic" times we live in.

Regarding your complaint with the shirt in question, I would simply like to say "you can go eat your dead grandmother's withered ovaries." Forgive the glib response, but I've already wasted too much time on your pile of bitch. Now go fuck yourselves, Betty and Daniel. And remember to put five condoms on that vagina Daniel calls a dick. Unless you actually wanted to produce an heir to the title of "World's Douchiest Douche."

Comments (7) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Lt. Commander Data  11/24/09 1:40 am
I've found 3 misspellings in the last 2 hate mails (denagrate, to when too should have been used, and some one rather than someone). The people who rip your shirts are thus moronic to the point that their opinions mean nothing. They don't even care enough to express themselves right. Thought: why did they pick that shirt to be pissed off at and not the one of the kid saying he's 3 by using the Shocker gesture?

Now, I will say that when I was 5, I was hung better than those kleinerschwantzen you have on the shirt, but no matter. I'm just blessed...

Lynn  11/24/09 1:49 pm
I bought that shirt for my son when he was 6 months old because it was true. I am not a stripper, nor do I have a pole (other than the ones attached to my husband and son).

The Devil  11/25/09 2:14 am
They would have really been pissed if the old "Daddy's milk is saltier than Mom's" shirt was still for sale.

Iman Azol  11/25/09 2:56 am
I want a stripper pole for babies, and by "Stripper pole" I mean "impalement stake."

Georg Marmaridis  11/25/09 11:45 am
Hahahah!Well said man...I don't get why people who doesn't like the t-shirts,get bothered an mail bitching bullshit to you...

joker  11/25/09 2:45 pm
stripper pole's ? crying over this ?

R  12/07/09 3:55 pm
Lynn 11/24/09 1:49 pm
I bought that shirt for my son when he was 6 months old because it was true. I am not a stripper, nor do I have a pole (other than the ones attached to my husband and son).


Let me guess, you're white, live in a trailer, and have a 6th grade education. Makes sense.

does this remind you of your favorite pair of panties?

-----Original Submission-----

haFrom: Terry

WOW!!! You guys SERIOUSLY sell shirts in size 5XL!!!!!! I'm on the husky side myself but please SHOOT ME if I ever get that BIG. No wonder everyone in United States is so FAT. Everybody is so tolerant and accommodating of peoples' SELF INFLICTED problems there's no reason for them to even ATTEMPT to improve themselves.

Editor's Note: Can't I just shoot you now? Don't get me wrong, I will gladly hold off until you plump up a bit, but I don't see the point in waiting. And since you have time to complain about shirt size options - Seriously? - I doubt you could give me a good reason either. As the old saying goes: Don't murder a pudgy cocksucker tomorrow if you can do it today.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but is your implication that companies should stop making clothes for fat people? I'm totally on board. Now let's consider the result of this little experiment - sweaty, naked porkers roaming the street without so much as a wisp of cotton separating me from mounds of jiggling flesh or the aroma of the holocaust. Now I'm REALLY on board.

Damn it. I just put "really" in caps for emphasis. Now you've got me doing it, you fucking DICK. Shit! I hope THIS doesn't become a HABIT. If this KEEPS up I'm going to DESTROY my caps LOCK key and BOTH of my shift KEYS. AAAAaaaaugh1 there, that's better. death to capitalizing11 shit, now i have no way to show emphasis. this has really backfired. goddamn it1 9i said angrily0

Comments (24) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Jhdora  11/23/09 2:55 pm
Wow, this guy is an ignorant fuck wad. I'm so glad he figured out the solution to the obesity in America, stop selling funny shirts to them! I knew it had to be something simple like that. Fuck you! the reason people are fat is because no one cares enough about themselves anymore to go outside and fucking exercise anymore.
So fuck off and stop blaming awesome companies for "accommodating" fat people.

John  11/23/09 3:43 pm
How does "almost" count in genocide? If you don't get all the jews they can repopulate and your whole genocide is for not...

Anorion  11/23/09 5:37 pm

Lt. Commander Data  11/24/09 1:46 am
I don't know that Terry was upset that you all sell 5X shirts- I think he's upset at fat Americans in general, of whom I am one (trying to lose, but hey, I'm not dying hungry). His note doesn't sound like an ad hominem attack; I couldn't see why he would shit on you for addressing consumer demand with corresponding supply. And he's right about how over-indulgent we are and how we should call people more on their faults...

McAwesome  11/24/09 5:46 pm
...close doesn't count in genocide, it's either genocide or it's not.

also, aren't the 5X shirts for black guys who want to look all gangster and shit, so they wear t-shirts that go down to their knees?

steve  11/24/09 7:27 pm

Megan  11/24/09 9:35 pm
Am I the only one or did anyone else only understand this much from what Terry said?
"I'm on the husky side
please SHOOT ME"

John Taylor  11/25/09 12:07 am
I fucking love reading this shit. Please don't go off on me.

Cheif Humping Buffalo  11/25/09 2:32 am
genocide isn't killing an entire race, just killing them exclusively

Iman Azol  11/25/09 2:59 am
You should sell thongs in 5X.

Tura  11/25/09 9:43 am
Without 5XL shirts, what gag gift would you buy to a skinny friend who has recently put on a little weight and feels self-conscious about it?

joker  11/25/09 2:48 pm
thong's in 5x ? isn't that rope,as for the shirts in 8x i have a tent they can use

Dan  11/26/09 2:06 pm
Just got through reading the anti-Christian rhetoric in your responses to some people you offended. Up until now, I found your site mildly funny (some of your shirts, the rest are just plain stupid). I ignored the Jesus shirts because I figured, if your idea of humor extends to having a tasteless laugh about Him, so be it. I even bought one of your other shirts a while back. But no more. A joke is one thing. But I see you've joined the crowd that thinks it's hip to insult Jesus and Christians, as on your editor‘s page. You must be an asshole to think it's OK to denigrate an entire religion. Maybe you have nothing in that pathetic void of a life of yours that means anything, besides of course, your largely stupid collection of shirts. Oh, and let's not forget the stupid collection of half-pants, which in your case, are probably worn from the ground up, so your under age boyfriend can more easily blow that pathetic needle-like clit you call a dick.
You're clearly an angry, disturbed individual. Whatsamatter? Did daddy molest you as a child, or maybe as an adult? Is he still molesting you? Or is he not molesting you enough for your tastes? Maybe mommy took off with some buck black dude because your dad packs the same zit-sized crotch mound of a dick you do. It probably runs in that chromosome deficient family of yours. I’ll send you a picture of her blowing me, you can put that on one of your new shirts. Perhaps if you were bright enough to stay in school, get an education, and contribute something useful to society, you’d actually be human, or worth some respect anyway.
Say, I didn’t notice any anti-Muslim shirts on your shit site. Like most anti-Christians, you’re too much of a pussy to insult them. You know that if by some miracle, you grew balls overnight, they might be cut off by your local jihadist. That is, if they could ever figure out who and where you are, as you hide so well in cyber space, like your boyfriend hides his dick in your ass/mouth.
I thought you were supposed to be going out of business. Or was that as fake as your strap-on? Only losers fake going out of business to generate sales. But of course that’s the one category you definitely personify. Oh sorry, you’ll have to look up “personify”.
So don’t send me any more e-mails about “the latest thing”, unless the latest thing is you’re not an idiot anymore. But do go ahead and publish this message, unedited, if you have the guts. Insult me, take your best pathetic shot, as I won’t be visiting your ridiculous web site any longer. What? I’m not talking like a Christian should? I can see by your response to others that intelligent and Christian-like discussion has no effect. I wouldn’t waste it on you. You’re a piece of shit, and likely to remain one. The ironic thing is, Jesus would forgive you for your bullshit, so I guess I should too. You’re forgiven. Now fuck off.

jester  11/26/09 6:40 pm
dan must b catholic , he took this to heart,like the one that bleeds on his catholic medilion. now a christian would hardly say fuck/ass/mouth/dick/molest wow .most christians want to b like jesus, not catholics they want to b jesus well maybe a roman jesus that want to condem the retailiers for not looking at it their way.............. heh- it was just a thought.

Kat  11/26/09 10:38 pm
Maybe Americans should lose weight, but let's be honest. Without chubby chicks all we'd have are those nasty boobless skeletons Europe calls women. And that's just plain nasty. And hey, if he's husky isn't that like the pot calling the kettle fat.

EvilTony  11/27/09 12:50 am
I think Dan and Terry should get together after their next Clan rally and go out for chicken and waffles.

drewp  11/27/09 12:53 am
Wow, Dan -- way to either A.) try to find a way to get your message published in an update on this site or B.) Give the creator of this site something to jerk off to.

billbudd  11/27/09 3:50 pm
Dan, smoke a joint and chill the fuck out.

Gregor  11/27/09 6:30 pm
No anti muslim t shirts? wasnt there an "Koran -Now available in 2 ply" shirt with a picture of a guy on a shitter? Did t shirt hell do the shirt with a picture of mohammed with a bomb in his turban or was that another t shirt site?

Ass Hole Poop  11/27/09 10:23 pm
Why do people like steve post a comment about the beginning of the newsletter under the last hate mail? And Dan sucks

dorajarr  11/29/09 1:05 am
Dan, why are you defending a group of people who would kick you right out of their cult if they ever saw all the unchristian things you just said up there? Big JC's gonna jizz all OVER your colon for that one, Sparky. But no matter. Its deliciously pleasurable to watch a christian cancel out their own relevance. You could say I love to lap it all up, even. (Y'know...the same thing you did to Father Ignatious between masses...?)

Dude. You're supposed to *crave* the twat, not *be* one.


Yuggib  11/30/09 4:48 pm
"Almost"...also counts in cow farts.
Ask Jerry Ford. While he was in a barn in 76, losing the election to that pussy from "Jo-ja," he was about 5 feet behind onw when she lifted her tail and let loose! He had to change everything! Might have been a political commentary on her part, like, "Well, not only are you FULL of shit, now you're wearing it too!"

Dan  11/30/09 8:42 pm
@Dan - LOL

Jake Malicious  12/09/09 8:56 pm
Except that T-Shirt Hell's 5x shirts are really about 2x-3x in size. The Gap must make their shit.

joy division

[Roll Credits, Then Joints]

Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. And genocide.