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newsfromhell

It don't mean a thing if you ain't got that swing


HULK RUN FAST. HULK SMASH!



Happy holidays! By which I mean Christmas and Hanukkah. Kwanzaa can go fuck itself. What the hell is Kwanzaa anyway? It sounds like someone just took a name from a character on Land of the Lost and made it a holiday. And what do Scientologists do on Christmas? Do they leave out gorblex and milk so they won't receive any thetans from Xenu Claus? And what's the deal with airline food? Okay, I'm done tying my noose. I'll stop killing time now.

The results of a 20-month investigation into steroid use in baseball were announced last Thursday. After nearly two years of meticulous research and blood tests, it was discovered that baseball is fucking boring.

Michael Vick was sentenced to 23 months in prison due to his role in an organized dogfighting operation. Oh, I get it. The BLACK man gets two years in the joint but the dogs that actually did the fighting aren't charged with shit. I guess that's justice in the white man's America.

"Jeopardy!" host (and the guy on the other side of that glory hole) Alex Trebek suffered a heart attack last week. He would've reported a problem earlier, but this asshole from Harvard kept beating him on the buzzer. Actually, complications arose when he kept shouting "Heart attack!" instead of responding with the appropriate "What are sharp, stabbing pains in my left arm?"

Ike Turner just passed away at the age of 76. In a related story, Tina Turner keeps running into a haunted doorknob.

It's been reported that movie star (and boner giver) Jessica Alba is pregnant. Jess, I don't know if you had anything in mind, but I've got a great name for your baby. "Perfect Vagina Ruiner." Seriously, now that this flawless poon has been wrecked, there are only two on the planet still worth a damn. You all know mine is one of them, but 100 points goes to anyone who can name the other one. (Hint: She starred in "Murder, She Wrote")

 

 

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New Shirts

Our latest crop of new shirts has arrived, and you can get them just in time to make up for that shitty Christmas gift you're sure to receive. You know what they say...'Tis better to give to yourself than receive from yourself.

We've added a clean shirt about dirty laundry (semen joke) and a shirt designed by the funniest guy who crossed the picket line. Check out those and many others below. Captain Picard says "Make it so, bitch-ass nigga."

All of our new shirts are here:

http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/nsn/newshirt_121707_news.htm

long division



long division


In case the hordes of pagans participating in blood orgies on your front lawn didn't tip you off, the movie "The Golden Compass" was recently released and has subsequently converted the world's population into godless heathens. My mahjong group and I needed no converting, but I digress.

This isn't the first time a film has brought religion to its knees. [Altar boy pun not found] It was only a year ago when "The Da Vinci Code" was released and everyone became either a self-flagellating albino or a douche with a queer haircut. Organized religion was in ruins. Never mind that at roughly the same time it was highly publicized that the church was little more than NAMBLA with fancy outfits. No, this movie was the black eye for Catholicism.

And who could forget the sorcery epidemic that swept over the land as the Harry Potter movies were rolled out annually? That happened, right? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I assumed the planet had been overrun by delightful (gay) English (gay) children performing magic since the Vatican suggested it would happen. I wouldn't know because I've stayed in my house ever since for fear of being caught in the middle of a wizard duel.

But enough tiptoeing around the issue, Hollywood. You want to destroy religion and we all know it. The less money people spend on tithing and Bible wax, the more they have to spend on shitty...I mean spectacular cinema. We all know what you're up to, so enough of this stirring up faux-controversy bullshit. We'll respect you more if you jump the shark and come right out and say what you mean. Below are some suggested film titles.



"97 Minutes of George Clooney Pooping on the Bible"

"Nuns Making Out and Adopting Babies"

"Fuck Jesus"

"Gavin the Goat Cums in Mohammed's Mouth" (animated)

"How Many Torahs Can We Burn in an Hour?"

"Pastor Vs. Rabbi: Who Can Felch Longer?"

"The Pope Clones/Rapes Self"

Michael Moore presents "The Rock & Roll, Violent Video Games, Empowered Women, Gay Marriage and Abortion Festival" (documentary)

"The Olsen Twins Queefing in Baptism Water"

"Devout Jews Teabagging Each Other"

"The Jew/Muslim/Christian Circle-Jerk"

"You Call That a Church-Burning?"

"Fuck Jesus II" (Because we have to find out what happened to that midget)

There you go, Tinseltown. Produce any of those movies and I'm sure you'll finally succeed in putting your competition (decency/shame/hymnals) out of business. Because books and movies aren't simply a couple hours of escape. They define who we are. That's why there have been so many pirate attacks in the past few years. And why after Norbit hit theaters everyone became black and not funny.

But all kidding aside, you'd have to be the biggest fucking asshole on the planet to sincerely believe that entertainment can cause a society to collapse. Every year another movie is supposed to destroy religion and every year religion is still around and that shitty movie made more money than it should have because all that false indignation did nothing more than advertise for it. On a related note, the Pope has called for a boycott of licking my pussy. Fight the power, kids.

 

Comments (16) - View Comments - Add A Comment

charles  12/17/07 10:28 pm
i don't see how the golden compass is anti-religious.. its extremely well known that those books/movies are just slathered in christ-worshipping gravy... that statement was probably the dumbest statement i've read on this 'thing' ever... good job guys.. good job

Phil  12/17/07 10:41 pm
charles, read the books before you comment. F***ing awesome. Religous folks beware, it might make you think.

Douche McBaggery  12/17/07 10:49 pm
Oh puh-leeze, no one ACTUALLY went to see the Golden Compass because of the controversy.
They all went to check out that smokin hot 10 year old who rode the polar bear like the kinky temptress she is.
Or was that just me?

Anjunk  12/18/07 8:40 am
I actually heard that Johnny Depp and Bruce Willis were working on a film with the title "God and Jesus, Sitting in a Tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G."

DANIEL  12/18/07 10:41 am
Our community priest warned us about this controversial movie while he was fingering an altar boy during the sermon.

Kerfuffle  12/18/07 10:50 am
Damn those cunning atheists … crafty bastards – luring children to theaters to suck the Jesus right out their soft little skulls with a polar bear and Sam Elliott – genius … pure genius.

Zarec  12/18/07 11:31 am
But the priest told me having your taint massaged by him was a sacrement!

red23  12/18/07 12:26 pm
THank You, I'm one of those dumbass people who wasn't sure how to spell Queef. I learn something new today, maybe I'm just a moron now instead of what I was 5 minutes ago

FuckDaPolice  12/18/07 1:27 pm
Fuckin' silly crackers! Always up in arms about somtin'

Cathy Sorbo  12/18/07 2:29 pm
Here's one:
Lutheran Minister: Anus on the Collection Plate

ry  12/18/07 3:28 pm
I agree with all this. i like to Fuck Jesus myself. thank you and god bless.

Lussy Picker  12/19/07 4:01 am
I feel your pain, my fingers have boycotted my ass hole for not provinding it with some real meat. Since your sensationally semen injected snatch is going through a similar situation, ill be the first to boycott the boycott on spelunking into your cavern of a cunt and give you the most twat tickling, cervix shattering, clitoris raping I can possibly dish out.. So be prepared.. All this for only some t-shirts, round trip plane tickets and some hpv medication.

p.s. come to Ontario and I'll extend my offer to all of your friends, so long as they supply their own accomodations, and providing my throat, ass, and other holes dont give you enough space for luggage, but thats highly unlikely.

love ya baby! Hope to see you soon, and your succulent poon.

Ryan  12/19/07 8:21 am
Are you actually going to show Muhammad or are you going to wuss out like the rest of the world?

Butt Head  12/20/07 8:32 am
Bring back some old shirt for us late arriving fuckers via the black market. I want a black marker "She Swallows" & "Music in a Minor" shirt. Don't make me have to buy one of those counterfit pieces of shit, cause I want the real deal. Looks like I need to hire some pro choice fat chick to sit outside you factor for 12 hours & scream "EXPAND THE BLACK MARKET NOW!!!" for payment of 12 donuts.

Iman Azol  12/21/07 2:32 pm
Wow, a finger up the ass actually feels pretty good. An Imam's finger, at least. I'm not sure about a priest's. Thanks for suggesting it.

By the way, if you mock the Prophet, I shall have to, rape, torture and kill you in the Name of Allah the Merciful.

Besides, everyone knows the goats were just pets.

Mark  12/28/07 5:24 pm
What's a jesus? I know you're supposedly gay, but can I lick your pussy?


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-----Original Message-----

(Warning: This one is really long. And really fucking stupid.)

From: Preeti T.
Sent: Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Subject: "Bros before Hoes" t-shirt

As a young woman, student, daughter, sister, and individual, I find myself obligated to write you this e-mail, as well as somewhat distraught. The reason I am e-mailing you is concerning your t-shirt line, notably the "Bros before Hoes" slogan that your company t-shirt hell, has promoted. I not only find this slogan offensive, but I feel as though it is my duty to inform you of its unbelievable biases against women.

I must inform you that my frustration is not out of being a supporter of Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton, since it is important to recognize that this is not the issue at hand. The problem is, however, that the slogan you are promoting is being bought by students, students of my prestigious University that I believe are educated and perhaps misled by the false notions your slogan has created.

With serious issues such as the gender wage gap at hand, and the fact that women have been battling for their positions not only in the professional world, but in asserting their gender roles for decades, I feel as though your slogan promotes nothing but sexist behavior and false stereotyping.

I recognize that your t-shirt line is supposed to be amusing, but I find myself insulted more than anything. In looking for your contact info, I ran into t-shirts such as "Anna Nicole ate my little brother." These stereotypes perpetuate and allow men to believe the have power over women, women who are characterized so commonly as "hoes." It is no surprise that women are expected to be skinny in order to be thought of as beautiful. The fact that your company endorses such ideals, however, is shocking.

I do hope this e-mail brings to your attention the problems we as a society face, since it seems you are not already aware. Women of all colors and sizes are mothers, friends, lovers, wives, sisters, daughters, and much, much more. I urge to think, then, why so many of them are called "sluts" and "hoes." In addition, your slogan, to a certain extent, perplexed me.

I wasn't sure if you were degrading women alone by calling them "hoes" and refering to "bros" as "my guy friends" or trying to make it equally funny by using the word "brother"--one commonly used in African American rheteroric as a way of degrading Black men. In any case, your "Bros before Hoes" slogan is misleading, and portrays you and your company as rude and frankly, uneducated. To my understanding, Hillary Clinton has never been, and is currently not a "hoe." If you have an explanation for your actions, I would most certainly be interested to hear it.



deep in MontanaEditor's Note: Time and time again I am reminded that one of the biggest endorsements against education is people who are educated. THIS person is being enlightened? Your parents are spending tens of thousands of dollars to send you little twats to college so you can get a good job and get the fuck out of their house. Not so you can harangue people with the bullshit your liberal arts professor shoved into your gooey, impressionable brains.

Your emotionless diatribe would've been maddening enough if its message wasn't four decades old, but the fact that this shit was hack when Jane Fonda squeezed it out of her snatch in the 70's makes it that much more annoying. Did you really think this was going to blow somebody's mind? Did you hope that I had my fingers in my ears and tape over my eyes ever since I was born? Why don't you put a stop to the Salem witch trials while you're at it? Fuck.

If you're wondering why I'm not responding specifically to anything you've said, it's because the counter-argument is just as old as the argument. Nobody won or lost the gender wars. They just stopped fighting because they finally recognized (unlike you) that the fight was pointless.

Here's where we finally settled - Men get the money and the power, and women get to come along for the ride in exchange for the occasional BJ. Until they gain 20 pounds. Sorry I had to break it to you like this, but it's better you find out now rather than later. You know, after you've squeezed out your fifth kid and been a housewife for four years.


Comments (58) - View Comments - Add A Comment

LawyerBiotch  12/17/07 10:15 pm
I'm still waiting on the "Hoes before Bros"...for those of us Hoes looking to show our support to the cock-sucking Hoe. Wait, she's not a cock-sucker...that's right.

Bad Habit  12/18/07 2:51 am
I thought the point of T-Shirt Hell t-shirts WAS to be rude and insulting. I mean, why the hell would you call it T-Shirt Hell if all that was printed on them was Hello Kitty and My Little Pony?

There seems to be a huge number of educated people who are still ignorant of the First Amendment.

Calia  12/18/07 7:06 am
lawyerbiotch: hmm, "hoes before bros" never sounded right to me. I've always gone with the (sadly less offensive) "chicks before dicks".

Rubber Duck  12/18/07 8:57 am
Maybe if you sent her an "I should be in the kitchen" shirt she would be a little happier about how she has been treated by society

Proud Ho  12/18/07 10:18 am
Somebody stick a dick in that self-righteous twat's mouth ASAP! Wait, she probably thinks BJs are degrading to women too. Better yet, stick it in her ass. That'll teach her.

Jessica  12/18/07 10:55 am
I Find it Fuckin' hilarious that the only shirt she got all wound up about was the bros before hoes... Are you fuckin serious... there's so much other worse shit she could have talked about. How about the I'd Rather Be Snorting Cocaine OFF a hooker's ass!!! (WHich I will soon OWn and LOVE)That's way worse than saying hey man bros before hoes. ...keep tellin yourself it's not about the woMAN running for president. I feel bad that you're going to go through life sucking ass all day with other ass suckers... lighten the fuck up nun licker.

Kill yourself,
Jessica

Brady  12/18/07 11:22 am
This should bring in new shirt ideas. You could offend both guys with tiny dicks and unhealthy tiny little bimbos worldwide!!! I'll leave you to your work!

Me Again  12/18/07 12:32 pm
College money wasted, I am of the split tail gender and all I have to say is, I couldn't have said it better myself. AMEN or whatever floats your boat. The world isn't blind women are

Astrid  12/18/07 12:42 pm
What an arrogant little twat. I hate people who think they are all high and mighty because they can repeat what they learned in Feminist Literature 100 class

FuckDaPolice  12/18/07 1:34 pm
In summation: fuck that byatch

PS. Jessica, call me gurl, your my kinda hoe

Jessica  12/18/07 1:40 pm
I'm Sorry... I wasn't aware I was posting on E-fucking-Harmony... But thanks tho... I'm my kinda hoe too.

Kerfuffle  12/18/07 1:55 pm
"I recognize that your t-shirt line is supposed to be amusing, but I find myself insulted more than anything."

Really, Preeti T ... come on, really? (Your name alone makes me want to take a massive dump in a cup and force you to lick it like a shitsicle). After searching for any sign of intelligence behind that cluster fuck of useless thoughts, I find it hard to believe that you could recognize much of anything - especially something as complex as a t-shirt with words printed on it. Let’s be honest, the only reason you cared enough to waste every ones fucking time with your decrepit, useless vagina’s plea for attention was because no one has ever cared enough to call you a Hoe – maybe “The Ball Sac” but never a Hoe. I think it’s time you found yourself lifeless in a dumpster soaked in hobo jizz more than anything.

eric  12/18/07 3:34 pm
the truth has been spoken

Aaron  12/18/07 3:56 pm
African-American rhetoric?? Are you fucken kidding me?? Rhetoric is argumentative or persuasive language used to sway opinions or debate. It doesn't mean slang or phrase...I love college freshmen chicks who after one semester of college think their Maya Angelou. Classic! hahaha!

not-the-one  12/18/07 4:13 pm
Oh Preeti, Preeti T.

"I wasn't sure if you were degrading women alone by calling them "hoes" and refering to "bros" as "my guy friends" or trying to make it equally funny by using the word "brother"--one commonly used in African American rheteroric as a way of degrading Black men."

Damn, you sure are clever. Thank you for clarifying that for me; I would have never been able to figure that out myself. Then again my welfare parents couldn't afford to send me to college. G's up, Ho's down!

"The problem is, however, that the slogan you are promoting is being bought by students, students of my prestigious University that I believe are educated and perhaps misled by the false notions your slogan has created.

God-Damn I'm still fucking laughing. Thanks a lot Hoe, I spit beer all over my terminal.

Bruticus  12/18/07 4:27 pm
"Your parents are spending tens of thousands of dollars to send you little twats to college so you can get a good job and get the fuck out of their house."

LOL. I wish that were true. Most parents these days can't afford to even chip in on education for their kids. And as for jobs - where? LOL again.

"Women of all colors and sizes are mothers, friends, lovers, wives, sisters, daughters, and much, much more."

They're also bitches. Horrific bitches.

Self Righteous Ass  12/18/07 5:01 pm
Ok people, I expect it from the letter writing cum dumpster, but the singular of hoes is ho, the one with the e is for gardening, not ass raping. Well, it can be used as a tool in ass raping, but not as the victim as Jesus intended. Get out of the suburbs for a day and spend some time with the dark people for christ's sake

Blaine  12/18/07 5:50 pm
wow ... im in awe over this fucking retard ... hmmm lets see pick possibly the least ofeensive shirt to complain about and then throw in some words you obviously dont understand, thats the problem with university chicks, they think they're so fucking brilliant cuz they're taking womens studies and english 100 so they think they can write. fuck that shit, she doesnt even underdstand what rhetoric is. i didnt go to university and i do, it was taught to me in the 10th grade. and who gives a shit if people at college are wearing a degrading shirt anyway? its supposed to be the best time of your life if your not a stuck up snooty fucking bitch

Laura  12/18/07 6:07 pm
What a fucking moron. Does this "educated" girl actually think that "Bros before Hoes" is a T-Shirt Hell original? She seemed genuinely confused by the "slogan." It's not a slogan, tard. It's a saying. Either way, she must've been living under a rock. The shirt is funny because an old juvenile saying, meaning pick your friends or "Bros" over your girlfriends or "Hoes" is being applied to something as serious as the presidential race.
And what year does she live in? 1960? The wage gap is so small it's negligible, and in some instances, non-existent. It sounds like this girl has been attending a college in which the text books haven't been updated in about 40 years. She should open her eyes and not believe every little thing her professor tells her. Anyone who thinks women get the short end of the stick anymore is an idiot. Women have never had it so good and yet these stupid cunts can't quit complaining long enough to realize just how good we have it. Women and men couldn't be any more equal. In some cases, men get fucked over just so that no one is labeled a sexist. Just shut the fuck up and enjoy it, you dumb bitch. You're going to ruin things for the rest of us.
Hate mail! Why do you anger me so?!?!

Laura  12/18/07 6:13 pm
A further though occurs to me: Where the fuck does this dumb bitch get off saying, "With serious issues such as the gender wage gap at hand, and the fact that women have been battling for their positions not only in the professional world, but in asserting their gender roles for decades"?
The goddamn shirt has a picture of a woman on it. And what is that woman doing? Running for fucking president of the United States! Yeah, we sure have a real gender inequality issue going on in this country. Someone should send her ass to the middle east. Douche bag.

....  12/18/07 8:32 pm
*sigh* a lot of you children need educations.

"Proud Ho" - you especially. "Somebody stick a dick in that self-righteous twat's mouth ASAP!" what a typical male response. Stick a dick in her, because that's the way to shut up a woman who can speak for herself! (or if you're female, you have some serious internalized misogyny. you should get that taken care of). Read a book.

Laura - just to correct you, the wage gap is still gigantic. Women make 70 - 75 cents for every dollar a man makes in the workplace. and yes, sexism still exists. The media teaches men that they have the right to women's bodies -- GET AN EDUCATION!

the woman who posted may have not used the word "rhetoric" in the right context, but at least she is on the right track. go to school, kids!

****  12/18/07 10:08 pm
I didn't mean to say "a lot of you children need educations". What I meant to say was, "I need a big dick in my mouth right now to shut me the fuck up."

....  12/18/07 11:47 pm
what the above poster "****" (when trying to mimic my screen name, he isn't able to tell the difference between asterisks and periods) meant to say was he is mentally retarded and has a really creepy oral fixation. which, being an early phase, shows his maturity level and developmental delay.

slikshady  12/19/07 12:16 am
I just can't believe the fact that someone from Harvard, Yale, Princeton...(insert prestigious university here) can put herself on this righteous high horse and think there is an actual point to any of the verbal diarrhea she proceeds to spew forth from her anus lipped oral cavity. I am glad I am a dumbass and never went to college to become this high and mighty in my own mind. Preeti T you should be so lucky as to be refered to as a hoe, since it would mean someone actually noticed your stinky twat. I can just picture you sitting in front of your computer on a Saturday night while your roomate is out having fun and you're typing hate letters to T-Shirt hell and returning e-mail to your parents and to your gay brother while talking to your 3 cats about what Frisky is doing to Pouncy and then crying yourself to sleep at 9 pm. Buy a freakin' sense of humor prior to going out into the real world or you will be an Old Aunt one day, never married and smelling of urine who the neighborhood kids point at and laugh, while never living an actual rewarding life with a husband and children.

Lisa Flanders  12/19/07 12:20 am
HAHAHAHAHAHAH! I am a disabled woman and if I could I would buy everyone of your shirts.... Bro's, Hoe's, Slut and ALL!!! Lisa

Eat Shit & Die You Cunts  12/19/07 4:02 am
25 comments about a bogus rant made up by the same fucking nigga that puts hell news together.
Fuck Y'all

Fireman Pete  12/19/07 6:29 am
Fuckin' birds eh?

Flapper33  12/19/07 6:57 am
I work in customer service, and believe me no-one could put togther anything as stupid as the average rant by the average self-righteous a-hole - and they come in all colours, genders and sizes. So let's have look at this:

"The problem is, however, that the slogan you are promoting is being bought by students, students of my prestigious University that I believe are educated and perhaps misled by the false notions your slogan has created."

So, t-shirt slogans educate people better than university? NO WONDER govts are cutting funding for education left, right and centre - they've realised it's a waste of money and are going into the lightweight cotton-based top industry!

"It is no surprise that women are expected to be skinny in order to be thought of as beautiful."

I'm a woman, and trust me, this means "I'm fat, and want to blame the fact I can't get laid on anyone but my nice friend Ronald McDonald and Mr Dunkin' Donuts."

Finally: "I do hope this e-mail brings to your attention the problems we as a society face, since it seems you are not already aware."

I would think a quick look at T-Shirt Hell's back catalogue (not back passage, you'd get sucked in by the draft) indicates they make a living by lampooning, harpooning (and other poon-related verbs) every last problem society faces - BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY! Go look up that F-word, and get back to me when you stop being chum for the REAL misogynist sharks out there who use uptight bitches like you as justification for their own insanity.

And Merry Kwanzaa, Ho Ho Ho!

Rhys  12/19/07 8:33 am
TL;DR

Jessica  12/19/07 12:10 pm
I wonder if the woman who posted as "...." Is the one who sent the retarded hate mail. It would make sense, cause a bunch of fuckin' periods would be way better than the stupid shit "preeti T" or whatever the hell that was she came up with to submit the fuckin "BITCH FEST '07" we all had the joy of reading. Quit trying to make a big deal out of the dumbest fuckin shirt on the site lady. Bro's before Ho's is a common term.. it just so happens that it made sense with the political reference. If it pisses you off that much submit an idea for the same shirt that says "Chicks before Dicks" and wear it for the rest of your life until you die.... then everyone will know how ANGRY it made you and you can SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

It's a shirt dumbass, get the hell over it.

Kari  12/19/07 1:54 pm
Is this for real? I really don't believe this chick is serious. I mean c'mon, somebody's fuckin w/us. Right? And what are people like her doing on tshirthell.com anyway? Are they just looking to get offended? Jessica is right, kill yourself. Please

dirtynorth  12/19/07 2:37 pm
I don't know about anyone else but my bros do come before any hoes. you takeing a statement and blowing into something it's not you dink! your proably one of those woman that sit there and scream equal right! well fuck you! it's woman like you that make it hard for at home mom's to get the respect! pull your head at your ass and get the fuck over it!

nancy  12/19/07 3:10 pm
um. . . what does this slogan have to do with degrading women? I thought it was just that guys can't ditch their friends for their girlfriend. And btw, Hillary Clinton is definitely a hoe.

Ouch  12/19/07 4:14 pm
i fell off my chair reading these comments! hahahaha so fucking funny, to all you "activist" women protesting the "degrading" of your fellow cunt havers, i have one thing to say...GET A LIFE! its t-shirthell.com why are you bitching about it?!? if you dont like the shirts, GET THE FUCK OUT. and as for the idiot who wrote the original email...i hope you get raped..and not because you're a woman, but because you deserve it.

....  12/19/07 4:37 pm
slikshady, you really shouldn't be proud of the fact that you're an uneducated highschool grad.

a real education would help you out a lot.

Jessica  12/19/07 4:51 pm
PERIODS.....good to have you back!!!!!

Proud Ho  12/19/07 5:22 pm
.... 12/18/07 8:32 pm
*sigh* a lot of you children need educations.

"Proud Ho" - you especially. "Somebody stick a dick in that self-righteous twat's mouth ASAP!" what a typical male response. Stick a dick in her, because that's the way to shut up a woman who can speak for herself! (or if you're female, you have some serious internalized misogyny. you should get that taken care of). Read a book.

Laura - just to correct you, the wage gap is still gigantic. Women make 70 - 75 cents for every dollar a man makes in the workplace. and yes, sexism still exists. The media teaches men that they have the right to women's bodies -- GET AN EDUCATION!

the woman who posted may have not used the word "rhetoric" in the right context, but at least she is on the right track. go to school, kids!

Hey ... I have news for you. I'm a well educated female who does very well for herself financially and is raising a child by herself without the help of the government. *SHOCK* Believe it or not, the vast majority of America knows how to take a joke. Maybe if you got of your high horse long enough you could see that. It's people like you ... that are ruining America. You take shit so seriously that you take all the fun out of life. You must be a Republican.

Proud Ho  12/19/07 5:34 pm
Oh yeah, and another thing "..." my daughter will be rasied with the mindset that women are equal to men and the only thing standing in the way of her getting equal pay is closed-minded fucknuts like you who are stuck in the '50s and think women belong in the kitchen barefoot and pushing out babies. And you call me a misogynist. Look in the mirror. It's not my fault your ass is fat because you spend hours in front of your computer playing WOW and you can't get laid because your dick/vagina smells like cottage cheese and fish oil because you don't bathe and you want to take it out on the world. Get a fucking life and quit chastising the rest of us who enjoy a good laugh once in a while at someone else's expense.

Brittany  12/19/07 11:53 pm
Degrading women has been around longer than any of us, So why break tradition? Its not offending anyone except those feminist scum with no bras and probably more body hair than anyone posting on here. Its disgusting. This girl seems like one of those type. And yeah, I guess women are equal to men, But an easier target. Sayings like "Get back into the kitchen and make me breakfast" offend women, But are only said because there are little to no comebacks to men. What are you going to say "Get back to work and make me some money"? Hahaha. All i'm trying to say is women need to lighten up. And girls with problems with words like "bitch" and "hoe" really deserve those names. So please, Get your panties out of a knot and your head out of every other feminsts ass, and start caring about something else. Something important. I mean fuck, your more likely to single handedly solve world hunger than to ever win the "bros before hoes" arguement. Peace.

Cameron  12/19/07 11:58 pm
Go fucking kill yourself stupid college twat

Zoot  12/20/07 1:26 pm
I went to college and thought that "Bros before Hoes" was on of your best shirts ever. I wish I would have thought of it and had a tattoo of it on either side of my ass crack. Too late now, I guess. It was indeed some of your better work. And don't worry, I get that the "Bros" does indeed not refer to "my male friends" unless, of course, they are blackies.

Deadguy  12/20/07 4:46 pm
Yup.. she works for Clinton. She's concerned it'll be the "slogan" against her, which is an excellant idea, of course.

Doesn't anyone get the point here? If you are blissfully unaware of things like racist comments, how will you ever hope to do anything about them?

A racist shirt? c'mon, you think that shirt is going to discriminate against you?

I think she should buy all of T-shirt Hell's stock of T-shirts, and burn them as part of her campaign. Perhaps match how many shirts were sold last year.

That would show commitment, and give a lot of money to my favorite T-shirt company.

Cherry  12/20/07 7:02 pm
HELLS YEAH TO THE EDITORS! Im a chick and I agree with everything you said! 'Cept the fat chick thing... personally love fat chicks myself! Besides that, take down them liberal hippies!!!

vfx  12/20/07 10:22 pm
Oh my god, this bitch needs to kill herself. That is the most retarded letter anyone has ever written. I mean, What do you expect from a company called T-SHIRT HELL. She needs to lighten up and get laid.

evilklown  12/21/07 12:33 am
"Women of all colors and sizes are mothers, friends, lovers, wives, sisters, daughters, and much, much more." Bullshit. I know a chick that weighs 450 lbs. and she can't have kids. I also know a chick that weighs 85 lbs. and can't ovulate, thus...no kids. Plus, I'm pretty sure that any woman ever born was born as a daughter. Hell, even some guys become daughters.

HoHoHo Bitches  12/21/07 3:17 am
Holy Shit, I think I finally get it! Her name is "periods!" Everything the bitch said makes so much more sence now.

Ange  12/21/07 10:46 am
To preeti T I say, What the fuck?!?! You take yourself WAY to seriously. And from Minker Man, when are you going to talk to your kids, when they graduate from Bible College with a degree that means absolutely less than SHIT? I'm a mom of an 11 yo and a 1 yo, and over the years I've realized something! You can't keep them from seeing shit outside the house. If they go to school or see the internet at a friens house, YOU ARE SCREWED!! PLEASE GET OVER YOURSELVES!!! If you censor T-SHIRT HELL, MY JEW ASS IS GOING TO TAKE OVER THE MEDIA AND CENSOR ALL OF YOUR CHRISTIAN ASSES!!!! Oh wait, I already have;-)

Iman Azol  12/21/07 2:37 pm
Bad Habit is onto something. There should be a Hello Kitty and My Little Pony pony show T shirt. Caption it My Little Pussy.

That said, I'm impressed by the eloquence, reason and logic this writer learned in womyn's studies. I don't think it's going to help her with the important things in life, though, like remembering to swirl my goo before she swallows, and making sure the martini is cold and fresh.

She also probably won't remember most of it after I hammer a dent in her head to take my beer.

Iman Azol  12/21/07 2:54 pm
Wait, Daddy (or me as taxpayer) is paying $45,000 a year for this cunt to go to school and sound off about a wage gap?

She'll get paid less because she's a dumb, whiny cunt. If she were male she'd still be a dumb, whiny cunt and paid less.

Bitch  12/22/07 1:14 am
Preeti T? I'm just going to assume she fucked the dean to get in...
Anyhow, thank you Preeti for taking the time out of your busy schedule of giving head to get anything over a c-, and hosting feminazi tuppleware parties to sit there in your "I Support Single Moms" shirt and typing that ridiculously inane e-mail for us all to be amazed at your stupidity with.

...  12/22/07 10:03 am
Proud Ho - I love all the assumptions you make. because I never once condemned the shirt or commented on ANYTHING to do with t-shirt hell OR sexism! wow, funny eh? all i did was comment on your (and others on this site) lack of education.

and....wtf? i think "women belong in the kitchen barefoot and pushing out babies"? i think you're a bit confused. that's why i said: get an education! its important.

Syphallitic Mohammed  12/23/07 9:11 pm
See what happens when you infidels give women rights they should not have?

Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: Who gives a fuck, bitch shouldn't have been out of the kitchen.

Q: Whats the worst thing about gang rape?
A: Waiting your turn.

Q: What do nine out of ten people enjoy?
A: Gang rape!

Q: A Black guy,a Mexican,a white guy,and a Jew are all standing around a filthy toilet.
Which one cleans it?
A: None of them,that's women's work.

(Did you know there are over 100k battered women ever year? And to think that I've been eating them plain all this time!)

J. DøøM  12/24/07 2:20 am
Bitch, shut your fucking cum-catcher and go make me a damn sandwich...

(I'm a fat, white, prejudiced, male high school drop-out who makes more money than you ever will & I approve this message.)

Jake Malicious  12/25/07 2:24 am
Yet another Biting Beaver wannabe cookie-cutter argument utilizing coke-sniffing cunt. T-Shirt Hell was right when they said it was long and stupid. To be honest, the original letter was funnier than the reply, simply due to the sheer idiocy. It'd probably be better if they didn't reply at all and went with their original style of "look, and laugh".

I never realized that guys being friends with other guys was offensive to women. It seems we're supposed to cater and foot-worship these useless, gold-digging shitsmears. Fuck them! And do you want to know why we make more money than you? Because we fucking EARN it you slobber-chinned assnuts.

And her little trite and overused, watered-down quip on women have to be skinny to be beautiful... NO FUCKING SHIT? Did you realize that we MEN have to be skinny to be considered good-looking, too? I once heard a stupid bitch complain that they have to spend soooo much time just to look pretty for the men. What, do you think we guys just roll out of bed, slap on a t-shirt and ripped jean shorts, and waltz to the office? And besides, ask most non-brain-damaged female (it'll be a long-assed quest, but with no golden-edged scimitar at the end to take) why she takes so much time to make herself pretty, it's not for the guys but for OTHER women. Am I wrong, non-brain-damaged ladies of T-Shirt Hell?

And Preeti T. (and you wonder why no one respects you), I would be interested in hearing an explanation for who ever had the week-long brainfart of the ages to teach you how to use a computer. It was most certainly a man.

Jake Malicious  12/25/07 2:28 am
And another thing, a random question for everyone:

Have you ever noticed that those most against racism, have never lived in the ghetto?

Jessica  12/28/07 9:42 pm
ahahahahaha.... I love reading this shit!

...  12/29/07 12:43 pm
Jake Malicious - aw hun, I feel so bad for you! you just can't deal with your sexual identity crisis so you lash out at the object of your inattraction - women! poor baby. i hope you get through this difficult time of yours and accept yourself.

oh, and to answer your question: Have you ever noticed that those most against racism, have never lived in the ghetto?
thats because people that live outside of the ghetto have the money to get an EDUCATION.something that you desperately need :(

Pat  12/30/07 3:11 am
I like how she came across the "Anna Nicole ate my little brother." when searching for contact info. Anyone with half a brain, open the TH site and try to find contact info. Hint, it is the link labled "CONTACT" that appears at the top of every fucking page. And the "Anna Nicole ate my little brother." shirt? Well, you could type in anna nicole into the search bar. but it being a limited addition shirt is not available. So for future referance kiddies, if you want to find contact info, click contact, if you want to be a dumb cunt, act like this dumb bitch.


joy division

-----Original Message-----

From: dennis s.
Sent: Friday, December 14, 2007
Subject: Why pick on Jesus?

Just want to let you know I think most of your shirts are hilarious and very creative. I've ordered several of them, and I get a kick out of the attention and the comments they attract. But I do have a concern about something......

Now I'm no bible thumper......in fact, I haven't been to church in quite some time. But I notice several of your shirts mock Jesus. And I'd like to ask you WHY? I don't care what you believe or don't believe. Make fun of Buddha or Mohammed or somebody else. That's all I have to say......I won't preach to you.


jesusEditor's Note:
Since you were so polite about it, fine, I'll make fun of Buddha and Mohammed.

Boy, that Buddha sure is gay. If he sucked any more cock I'd have to call him Jesus. And how about that Mohammed? I'm not one to judge, but I think it's deplorable that he covered his cock with poop, raped some girl named Mary, punched her in the stomach, and then left her to raise some bastard named Jesus on her own.

Incidentally, why is it that the phrase "Now I'm no Bible thumper..." always precedes something infinitely idiotic? It seems to be the catchphrase for religious people who don't want to admit to themselves that they're just as ignorant as the other ones. "Don't worry, I'm one of the cool ones." No you're fucking not.

It's beginning to have a Pavlovian effect on me. When I read "I'm no Bible thumper" my brain buckles up for the crash with retarded. It's similar to the way I orgasm every time I see a burning hobo.

Comments (33) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Smokin' Deist  12/17/07 9:17 pm
I think one reason that Christians/Jesus gets bashed a lot is the fact that Christianity is the top religion in the US. Their attitudes towards non-Christians just has them asking for it. Sometimes you see other religions poked fun of in here, but perhaps the letter bombs from disgruntled Muslims were a bit too much? I wouldn't mind seeing T-Shirt Hell spread the"love" around to other religions. Mohammed had a 9-year-old wife. Why not a t-shirt saying Mohammed was a pediphile? Oh wait, I hear someone knocking at my door....BOOM!

alexander  12/17/07 11:25 pm
Naw. I think the reason christians get bashed a lot is that most of these close-minded arrogant fucks have it coming. Now, I'm not a bible thumper, but I'll make an exception for thumping one over your head.

Tim  12/18/07 8:33 am
No. The reason Christians are such a target is their reliable and continuing arrogance. This fuck actually has the audacity to try to defend a religious idol that he claims not to have too much to do with, apparently because he finds the idea of criticizing a figure of worship offensive. In the next sentence the asshole goes on to say "make fun of Buddha or Mohammed or somebody else". What an absolute cunt of a two-faced human being.

Jesus/God/Holy Spirit  12/18/07 9:43 am
For My sake, Dennis, it was ME they hung on the cross, not YOU!! Stop your incessant fucking whining and do us all a favor and shoot yourself in the head. I know...I know...it's an unforgiveable sin but for you, I'll make an exception!

manther  12/18/07 1:07 pm
why do christians think that jesus is so easily offended? why do they think they have to defend jesus? i'm pretty sure he can handle anything that we dish out....and then some. i have a hard time thinking that jesus is somewhere weeping because we hurt his feelings. lighten up christians and stop hiding behind the "oh, poor jesus" stance. it is just a cover up for your lack of humor and common sense. i am sure jesus cannot wait to bitch-slap all the so-called christians in the world for being such pussies and having the arrogance to think they can speak or defend someone who needs no defense.

Nilsko  12/18/07 2:12 pm
You see things like this quite often on your hate mail. Its OK to pick on Muhammed and Jews but its not funny to mock Jesus. Whats the fucking difference. Either you dont think you should make fun of religion or you do. This whole make fun of other religions, thats funny, but not Christianity, thats not funny, pisses me off.

ry  12/18/07 3:34 pm
all religion is bullshit anyway, why not try to make a buck off it, either by those who wish to offend or by those who think its all "sacred".

not-the-one  12/18/07 4:20 pm
"I see all these Christians wearing crosses. Do you think when jesus comes back he's going to want to see a fucking cross?"
-Bill Hicks (Best Fucking Comedian Ever)

Bruticus  12/18/07 4:30 pm
The only religious figures above reproach are the Mighty Thor ('cause he's a superhero) and the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Self Righteous Ass  12/18/07 5:04 pm
You cant crucify the flying spaghetti monster. He just slides right off the nails and flies off leaving a trail of justice and marinara.

Laura (a Christian)  12/18/07 6:20 pm
Why is it okay to make fun of Buddha and Mohammed, but not Jesus? And I'd imagine Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammed all have better things to do than worry about a T-Shirt which was made in good fun anyway.

Self Righteous Ass, you made me giggle.

Jaiden  12/18/07 6:52 pm
Why is everyone taking dennis seriously? I have never seen a letter so obviously put together as an attempt to get published in the newsletter.

Ryan  12/19/07 8:18 am
With Muhammad being an illiterate epileptic who married a 9 year old, preached peace uless you disagreed with him, and then went with his merry band of robbers to go loot caravans while killing all the men and keeping the women and kids as slaves, you could have come up with some better jokes. I feel let down. I do agree with the "Bible thumper" remark.

Yuri Tarded  12/19/07 9:46 am
Q: How do you get a Muslim woman pregnant?
A: Dress her up as a goat.
Q: Did you hear the one about the Muslim who won a Nobel Prize in Mathematics?
A:Neither did I.
Q. How many muslims does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. What's toilet paper?

Syphallitic Mohammed  12/19/07 9:52 am
The nice thing about being a pedophile is that it is pretty tough to get a 9 year old pregnant. That and they are a lot tighter than camels.

El Chupacabra  12/19/07 10:09 am
Yuri, if you have a koran you don't need toilet paper.

Guy goes into sex shop and asks for an inflatable doll. Assistant asks him whether he wants a Christian one or a Muslim one. Customer asks what's the difference. Assistant explains that you need a pump for the Christian doll, but the Muslim one blows itself up.

Yuri Tarded  12/19/07 10:25 am
Knock, Knock

Who's There

A Muslim

A Muslim Who?

A Muslim I will rot in eternal damnation for the sins of my people, culture, leaders, and thoughts. My society is corrupt down to it's core and I am paying for it with the blood of my people.


HAHAHAHA! That one cracks me up everytime.

Chris Jones  12/19/07 11:29 am
Way too funny! I got busted at work for laughing too loud at that reply.

Syphallitic Mohammed  12/19/07 11:35 am
Wanna hear a joke?

Womens Rights.

Yuri Tarded  12/19/07 1:41 pm
A muslim on my street doused himself in gas, lit himself on fire and died. We are taking up a collection for his family, so far we have 20 gallons.

Q: Why did the Arab trade his wife for an outhouse?
A: Because the hole was smaller and the smell was better!

Q: What's brown and pink and comes out of a camels ass?
A: An Arab's cock!

Q: What's funnier than a dead Arab?
A: dead Arab in a clowns costume!

Q: Why are there no Muslims in Star Trek?
A: It's set in the future.

Jose  12/19/07 2:07 pm
DO you see this. Grade A white people behavior. This is why I make sweet love to your taco before i put it in the bag. Its okay though my girlfriend is a dirty white girl. Im like caviar I always come on a cracker

El Chupacabra  12/19/07 2:31 pm
Jose calls his boss at work and says"Look,i`m really sorry,but i can`t come to work today,i`m sick".
"Sick!" screams his boss "Sick! This is the tenth time this month, Jose.Exactly how sick are you?"
"Well",replies Jose."I`m in bed with my 9 year old sister"

Mexican kid comes home from school and says to his mom "I've got the biggest dick in the third grade, is it cos I'm Mexican?". She says "No its because you're 19 you fucking retard".
(Just kidding, there aren't any 19 year old Mexicans in school)

Q: How do you stop a taco bender from drowning?
A: Take your foot of his head!

Sponge  12/19/07 2:35 pm
no doubt the guy's a tard, but you have to admit, he's got a point. I'm atheist, but i'm also English, so unlike the (slightly misguided) American Atheists i do it properly, so i don't just slate Christians, i slate the lot of them. either that or i just don't give a shit..

Either way, Why waste all that time and effort just ripping into jason (...sorry jesus...no fuck it, i'm not sorry) when you could be spreading it round all of them?

but then i guess you'd have to bomb-proof the letterbox or something. reasonable idea though i guess

Fake Religion  12/19/07 4:21 pm
The Koran...now in 2-ply! is that jesus?!? NO ITS THE FUCKING ARAB BIBLE...we pick on them all, jesus shirts sell better..its all about the money, because the people who own the company are white, is it that hard to understand?

Proud Ho  12/19/07 5:27 pm
Oh yeah, and another thing "..." my daughter will be rasied with the mindset that women are equal to men and the only thing standing in the way of her getting equal pay is closed-minded fucknuts like you who are stuck in the '50s and think women belong in the kitchen barefoot and pushing out babies.

dannay  12/19/07 8:24 pm
that was possibly one of the most ignorant complaints ever posted on this site. "pick on the other gods for once?" if you are "no bible thumper" then shut the fuck up and deal with it.

Syphallitic Mohammed  12/19/07 9:37 pm
Q= Why don't women need to drive?
A= Because there isnt a road between the stove and my cock

Q= what's the worthless fatty tissue that surrounds a vagina?
A= the woman.

Q= What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
A= The dishes if she knows what's good for her.


CANADA  12/20/07 8:36 pm
Q. How many Muslim extremists will it take to destroy America?
A. None, American Liberals can do it all by themselves, thank you

evilklown  12/21/07 12:41 am
I don't want to sound like a bible thumper, but I think when Jesus, Mohammad, Buddah, L. Ron Hubbard, and 2Pac come back, we're all fucked.

Iman Azol  12/21/07 3:11 pm
You have to understand, Mohammed's (PBUH) wife may have been 9, but she had the body of a 6 year old.

Bush at a strategy meeting said, "I want to kill one million Arabs and one blonde with huge tits."

A CNN reporter asked, "Why a blonde with...um...well endowment, Mister President?"

Bush looks at Cheney and says, "You owe me five bucks, Dick. I told you no one would give a shit about the Arabs."

You know why Jesus was crucified? Because making the sign of the cross is dignified. Catholics would look like spazzes if he'd been stoned.

Did you hear about the new German microwave? It seats six.

How do you rape a new age wiccan chick? Hold her down and shave her armpits.

What's with the dot on a Hindu woman's forehead? When they get married, the man scratches it off to see if he's won a convenience store in America.

Iman Azol  12/21/07 3:13 pm
I wonder if Mohammed's wife was tighter than a 5th grader?

Oh, wait, she was a fifth grader.

Or would have been, if he'd let her go to school.

Jake Malicious  12/25/07 2:43 am
"But I notice several of your shirts mock Jesus. And I'd like to ask you WHY?"

The answer is: because it's funny. And lolcows like you just add to the hilarity.

Jake Malicious  12/25/07 3:13 am
CANADA, why are you singling out liberals? Every fucking American - whether they are liberal, conservative, moderate, democrat, republican, communist, socialist, green, libertarian, atheist, religious, or about a thousand other things I didn't jot down to keep this comment from becoming a goddamned novel - are raping that 3000-mile wide piss stain with a twenty-foot long rusted machete sideways.

Remember, USA nowadays stands for yoU Silly Asses.


division of labor

-----Original Message-----

From: kerryh*** @ star***.com
Sent: Friday, December 14, 2007
Subject: disgusted

your "100% organic" shirt is simply disgusting. each day more people are becoming aware of the green movement and a lot are even becoming vegans, but this shirt is just a sick reminder that the fight is not nearly over and there are still close-minded jerks out there like you. but one day being environmentaly freindly will be the norm and people like you will be the butt of the joke. have fun selling your shirts until then, A-hole.

Kerry

whoreEditor's Note: I couldn't agree with you more. You're right. Hey here's a picture from my summer vacation at our Offensive Fur Coat Factory! This little guy was so sweet. I'm going to call him, "Mister Bleedy"!

 

 

 

 

 


Comments (34) - View Comments - Add A Comment

Smokin' Deist  12/17/07 9:20 pm
Seriously for a moment here. If you want to see what the animal rights nutjobs are about, watch Penn & Teller's Bullshit episode on PETA. It's an eye opener done with just the right amount of humour.

Alex  12/18/07 12:15 am
First off, bullshit is the best fuckin show! And second, eating meat is not only natural, it's healthy, have you ever seen a vegan who didn't look like they're gonna keel over and die? No meat make you sick and to call meat eaters close minded jerks does nothing but make me want to punch you in the throat and stuff beef into your mouth. If you want to convert, then show what can be done, don't insult other people you cocksucker (I don't want you on our side)

Incredibly Little Richard  12/18/07 6:20 am
Now, not to be a puppy humper or anything, but I happen to be very against the fur trade. I believe we should sew our clothing from the scotums of young, pre-adolescent boys. If not for any other reason, the clothing tastes better that way.

panda killer  12/18/07 10:06 am
BLA BLA BLA shut the fuck up, you vegans are all a bunch of queers anyways, awww fuck, look what you made me do now, i got so mad that I dropped some ketchup from this one pound burger on my brand new coat panda fur coat, guess i'll just have to go kill another one and make another coat, maybe i'll kill her cubs and make slippers out of them while i'm at it...........................

DANIEL  12/18/07 10:10 am
As a vegan I find the tshirt in question very funny.

manther  12/18/07 1:10 pm
do vegetarians suck dick? just wondering.

FuckDaPolice  12/18/07 1:41 pm
I SWEAR TO FUCKIN GAWD!!! wtf is with these bitch ass muther fuckin bitch ass niggas?!?!?! Jesus fuckin christ, TSH, I don't think I could stand to get another fucking email from some outragged little dick lick and not through my fuckin computer out the window!!!!! I'm bout to lose it....

b  12/18/07 1:42 pm
WOW. I honestly think that's one of the LEAST offensive shirts on this site. I'm an animal welfare activist, and I almost bought it for my brother for Christmas. (But it wouldn't get there in time, so I settled for a warehouse-stock version of Stop Clubbing Baby Seals. But I like the organic one better.) You really can't please everyone... Or even avoid offending everyone.

Kerfuffle  12/18/07 2:20 pm
manther - The answer to your question is YES. Vegetarians suck tons of dick - they have it hauled in by the truck load in fact. Unfortunately, they do not eat the vagina - because like meat vagina contains wholesome goodness so awesome and powerful their weakened, protein depleated stomach linings disintegrate.

manther  12/18/07 2:57 pm
i once used my pussy juice to dissolve some rust that accumlated on my car battery terminals. people were offended but i was up and running and back on the road in no time.

Yuri Tarded  12/18/07 3:04 pm
As a vagatarian I am doing my part, I do have a problem with fur though, it gets stuck in my teeth. Shave the cooch and everybody wins, if you miss the fur go buy a nice Snow Leopard coat. P.S. Eat veal.

ry  12/18/07 3:42 pm
I personally like to kill all the meat i eat, i generally try my best to so it as cruelly as possible, but i do save everything, i like to wear the bones and fur as jewelry, i don't like vegans but they would be first on the list of people i would kill and eat, simply because in the wild animals who eat meat aren't as tasty as those who just eat plant matter, so....uh...yeah. thats why being vegan isn't a good idea, it will make you the most likely candidate when it comes to the end times and cannibalism is the way of the land.....or some such shit.

Jessica too  12/18/07 4:17 pm
That poses an interesting question....If Kwanzaa could fuck itself would it....and in what position? Don't be freaked Jessica...warped minds think alike. (giggle drool) Hoes unite! (yes I'm a hoe too but don't get your undies in a twist chick...it's meant as a compliment)

Khristie  12/18/07 4:42 pm
Yuri Tarded's comment needs to be put on tshirt! "As a vagatarian I am doing my part, I do have a problem with fur though, it gets stuck in my teeth. Shave the cooch and every wins." I would buy that one today!! Thanks for the laugh Yuri!

PollyUrAThane  12/18/07 4:52 pm
"Green movement"? I haven't heard that joke in days! Boy it's been a long time since I ran across an environmentally-friendly comedian.

I just received this shirt after ordering it as a gift for my boyfriend. My only problem with the product is that it is not really made of baby seals, manatees and panda bears.

Enjoy your nature, hippie.

Dean Smith, Vegan Eater  12/19/07 1:41 am
I'm sort of a vegan.....I only eat animals that eat vegetables.

Yuri Tarded  12/19/07 9:12 am
Don't mention it Khristie. I just hope that for everyone's well being you have followed my advice.

Suck on a Tailpipe  12/19/07 9:33 am
The name says it all Kerry fight the good fight ....
can we make a t shirt for her "100% fucktard"

Sponge  12/19/07 2:45 pm
I'm sick of fucking Vegans and Vegetarians (Figuritively of course) because its not natural. i mean humans are Omnivores, which means that we can eat a diet of meat AND vegetables (and fruit and nuts and chocolate and stuff)

Although the human body can survive for a while on either just meat, or just vegetables and stuff, it can't continue indefinetely, which is why true vegans and vegetarians have to take vitamin tablets to replace the vitamins that they don't take in because they don't eat meat. Now who's close-minded huh?

I'll wrap this up before it gets any more boring, Eat Meat and Veg like you're supposed to for fuck sake and stop fighting a losing battle to convert us all!!

...and while you're at it, if you're going to complain about a t-shirt, make it one that's actually offensive (even if i've yet to find one that actually offends me)

mr.tom  12/19/07 7:12 pm
WTF!! Can any one explain to me what being vegan has to do with the green movement. I mean don't vegans scar up the landscape to make their little cabbage patchs? Don't vegans make Thumper and Bambi take detors to get around their fences? Oh wait, those two are setting beside my mashed potatoes. Still, vegans make me try to make me take detors around their fences while I'm on the hunt. Hmm, hunter preserve the land while vegans plow it up. Hmm.

dawg  12/19/07 10:36 pm
To all the vegans in fucked up land.... Us as an animal species have forward facing eyes and k-9 teeth, so that we can build a proper 3d image of our environment and tear the flesh off the animals we catch using that nifty skill.

Andy P  12/19/07 10:39 pm
i bought this shirt a while ago and now im just wearing it to piss off the hippies. God i hate hippies...and liberals...yeahhh

Nonny Amous  12/19/07 11:43 pm
Vegans are as bad as religious zealots when it comes to making you feel bad about not being one of them. Fuck 'em. I'll cum on a dead Bald Eagle whenfuckingever I want to.

blcaligraphy  12/20/07 12:07 am
hahahahaahaha.
i cant stop laughing. I actually bought that shirt and wore it to school for a speech on how idiotic and moronic vegans, vegetarians, and PETA lovers are.
Thanks Tshirt hell!

blcaligraphy  12/20/07 12:08 am
hahahahaahaha. i cant stop laughing. I actually bought that shirt and wore it to school for a speech on how idiotic and moronic vegans, vegetarians, and PETA lovers are. Thanks Tshirt hell!

Cherry  12/20/07 7:07 pm
Awwww! Look at lil' mista bweedy! AINT HE A CUTEY!?! Whatd he make? A nice coat or was it a shawl?

evilklown  12/21/07 12:43 am
The best thing about vegans is that they keep dying from malnutrition faster than they can convince college freshmen like Pretti T to take up their cause.

tom  12/21/07 12:22 pm
i find your shirts hilarious and have no problem wearing them in public. sometimes it's just good fun to shake up other people's notion of reality. it's all in good fun.

Iman Azol  12/21/07 3:18 pm
I don't kill animals, I just maim them and then slice bits off. Torture improves the flavor.

Bitch  12/22/07 1:27 am
I really hate tree-hugging,veggie eating,cock sucking,retardedly preachy,whiny cuntbags like that.
We seriously need to get around to eating vegans.Meat and veggies in one sitting,plus the added benefit of 1 less whiny asshat.

Thora  12/22/07 3:24 pm
Why is "you're closed-minded' always the rallying cry of these fucktards? Just because they don't have your specific viewpoint, that makes them closed-minded? Isn't what you're saying the exact definition of said term?
Retard.

Suspended with pay  12/23/07 9:32 pm
Everytime I see animal & rights in the same sentance I go out and kill ten of something, usually animals.

Eric  12/24/07 11:09 am
hell i love thing 100 % organic, thier delicious. there nothing like haveing some endangered specieis on the grill and wearing thier hide ....hell if it wasnt for vegans, witch ive never met one, who else would we laught at and take thier lunch money to buy more panda burgers

Jake Malicious  12/25/07 3:24 am
"I don't kill animals, I just maim them and then slice bits off. Torture improves the flavor."

If that's true, Iman Azol, you may be interested in this.


does this remind you of your favorite pair of panties?

-----Original Message-----

From: Minker Man

Sent: Sunday, December 16, 2007

I guess you sell shirts or you wouldn't be in business, but i just can't imagine someone wearing this stuff in public. Seriously, who would walk around with "fuck" or "goddamn" on their shirt? I like a dirty joke same as anyone, but people have a right not to see that stuff in public.

As a good parent I can protect my kids from that stuff at home, but how am I supposed to shield them from shirts like this if someone decided to wear it in Home Depot or something. It just seems wrong.


klantastic!Editor's Note:I think you just answered your own question, sir. A good parent keeps his or her child from seeing objectionable things in public places by keeping them out of public places. It's really a very self-explanatory solution to the thing you think is a problem. You can't control the entire population, but you can control your kids, so you simply keep them the fuck away from us.

You'd really be doing all interested parties a favor. The general public wouldn't have to be annoyed by your loud, ugly kids, you could keep pretending that you're a good parent, and your children would no longer have to be embarrassed while walking around with an enormous tool.

Or you could just do what all the people you no doubt call "terrible parents" do and fucking deal with it. If you're walking through the mall with your little sperm and egg mixture and he sees the word "fucking" on a shirt and asks you what it means, you simply turn to him and say "It's a bad word. Don't ever say that shit, you little cunt."

That suggestion is for your benefit. I would much rather you kept your child sheltered until one day he snaps, decapitates you, and rapes your throat. Sayonara, yeast infection that your mom thought was a baby.



Comments (33) - View Comments - Add A Comment

SpazMonkey  12/17/07 9:54 pm
For Ed: I'm so in Love with you.

~Trina~  12/18/07 3:18 am
Wow! It's just a damn t-shirt get over it already. They are meant to be funny. If you don't want your kid reading it cover their eyes with duct tape everytime you go out. People are not going to change we all find offensive things funny but the fact that there offensive makes them funny so deal with it and stop your fucking whining. You're kids are going to be screwed in the head anyway. You have no choice in that matter it's a reality of life.

DANIEL  12/18/07 10:29 am
If you are so scared that your children will have to deal with the indecency in this world, why the fuck you had to procreate? I'm not kidding, this fucking world is so overpopulated and arrogant selfish assholes like you keep bringing out more and more arrogant selfish assholes just to perpetuate the most indecent specimen in the planet. So deal with it or avoid taking your turds to the Home Depot...

Aureliano Buendia  12/18/07 10:35 am
Why you don't complain to the person wearing the shirt instead this stupid rant? I know is safer to write an email that telling that big guy "Hey asshole, your shirt offends my children!", but you know after the guy beats the shit out of you in front of your kids, they will see you as a hero and you can start wearing your underwear over your pants. They could call you Captain Decency.

Kevin J  12/18/07 11:35 am
I would be willing to bet that this same asshole allows his kid to watch MTV, VH1 and E Entertainment. This proud parent probably doesn't even batt an eye while walking through a grocery store line with his little hell-beast in tow while surrounded by the nit-wit magazine club with a mulitude of risque covers and headlines. I guess this fuckstain has his eyes closed to the fact that, whether said out right or implied, it is still the same thing.

"Loser"  12/18/07 11:35 am
{quote}As a good parent I can protect my kids from that stuff at home, but how am I supposed to shield them from shirts like this if someone decided to wear it in Home Depot or something.{/quote}

HEY!! HE'S TALKING ABOUT ME!!

manther  12/18/07 1:15 pm
to be a good parent, you teach your kids tolerance for all different types of people and thought. then they can decide for themselves whom to hate.

sheltering them from seeing the word "fuck" or "goddamn" on a t-shirt produces an emotional "Nell" when they grow up. chickapayy!!!

FuckDaPolice  12/18/07 1:43 pm
....Oh ThAT'S IT.....ARRRGH!!.....*crash*.....

LM.tex  12/18/07 2:00 pm
How dare I wear this goddamn t-shirt in front of your fucking kids! ... oh, wait, that IS a tshirthell tshirt.

Altiough I teach school, when I'm off the clock, I don't want to see the little bastards either. Keep 'em the fuck home, or put a paper bag over their heads...

Jessica  12/18/07 2:23 pm
I'm so tried of people trying to tell other people what they should and shouldn't say... "It just seems wrong" you know what else seems wrong.. that fact that your mom gave you herpes...

Hose the sand out of your pussy fag...
they're gonna hear it somewhere...

Prolly comin from your bedroom late at night...
haha you might as well let 'em read all the fucked up shirts you see in home depot! Less traumatizing i think.... we are thinking of the children aren't we????????

Mister Rogers  12/18/07 3:20 pm
So when your kid is not in the Special Olympics you wander aimlessly around Home Depot? Does it really matter what the shirt says? Your future sheltered workshop employee would have to be able to read it to be offended anyway. Forget the college fund, the best thing you can do for the little tard is start saving for that mobile home it will be living in.

Kerfuffle  12/18/07 3:29 pm
Minker Man, you need to be slapped to sleep.

Jessica too  12/18/07 4:03 pm
Hey Jessica forget about that guy in the other post and give me a call....I love your ideas...they are sooo hot! I think a little girl on girl would be the proper way to celebrate the holiday and entertain the witless masses at the next ChristmaChaunnaKwanzica spectacular! ;-)

Jessica  12/18/07 4:12 pm
I can't tell if I should be freaked out or think you're just as fuckin' sarcastic as I am. Either way I'm Down for Chrismakah....like he said.. Kwanza can go fuck it's self.

Jessica too  12/18/07 4:31 pm
Don't be freaked out...corrupt minds think alike. Wanna come help me perform illegal abortions on undocumented immigrants for fun and mild profit? That's the plan for New Years Eve!

Duke  12/18/07 4:56 pm
The solution to this guy's problem is very easy. When you go into a store, lock your kids in the car with the windows rolled up on a nice summer day. Nothing passes time quicker than sleeping.

Mike  12/18/07 6:20 pm
What a Fucking Asshole,,Guess what Prick,,I DO wear these shirts in public,and just like you said the public has the right not to see them,Well Fuck You cause I HAVE THE RIGHT to wear them in public,Its called freedom of speech,Learn what that means you ignorant Fuck

Jessica  12/18/07 7:20 pm
Well that just sounds like a fan-fucking-tastic time...

Metalhaid  12/19/07 12:20 am
You can't imagine somebody wearing one of these shirts in public? Where do you live, Utah? I work on a college campus and when I see someone wearing a T-Shirt Hell T-shirt I congratulate them on their uncommonly good taste and cutting-edge sense of humor. I wish you'd actually read the responses to your stupid comment and see what the world is like outside your ivory tower. You probably are home-schooling (by which I mean fisting) your kids personally. How sad for them. Can't wait till the FBI shows up at your doorstep and blows up your house.

In a Knot  12/19/07 9:31 am
I have an Idea, why don t we take Cuntlug and tie his nuts around his neck, then maybe none of his baby juices creates another emo , "daddy I thought "fuck" was between u and me"? ""No Billy its for everyone silly":)

Jessica too  12/19/07 11:30 am
Ok you're on the V.I.P. list...Jessica and guest. See you New Years!

Arrested and Detained?  12/19/07 4:27 pm
i got the I (plane) NY shirt when it came back to the warehosue stock a few weeks ago...i plan on travel by air soon, mental debate on whether or not i should wear this shirt while traveling?

Jessica  12/19/07 4:53 pm
Haha... if you wear that shirt you are defn. going to get fucked in the ass by mall security!

Jessica too... I'm all the way In Upstate and I think I would LOVE getting drunk way more that doing those illegal abortions we talked about... RAIN CHECK???

jessica  12/19/07 4:55 pm
he he he... I called them mall security

Dodger  12/19/07 5:34 pm
One of the best suggestions I've ever read on here. Can we push it further? Can you guys start printing hard core porn in hi res on shirts? I'll wear damned near anything, and even plug those stupid little speakers into my iPod and blare Spit music at people if it'll get "good parents" to keep their fuck trophies at home.

Shari  12/20/07 12:43 am
If this shit is so fuckin' offensive, why the fuck are you reading it, asshole?
Have you resigned to finding things to ridicle cuz ur ole lady won't suck your dick no more, or is it because she never has?
Maybe you should grow up & get a life before your kid does!

Jessica too  12/20/07 9:49 am
Hahaha you got it Jessica...and have a drink for me!

DJ Bukkake  12/20/07 11:49 am
I still remember seeing t-shirts that said "Fuck Iran" on them in the early 80s to protest some bullshit going on at the local university. I also remember seeing the t-shirts of Mickey Mouse shooting the finger. I guess the point I am trying to make is that my parents fucked me up worse than any God damn t-shirt could have as a child.

devilhippie  12/20/07 11:55 pm
man if i saw someone wearing any shirt from you, i would dry hump thier leg till i bleed!! yyyeeeeeehhhaaawwww!!!

Bitch  12/22/07 1:34 am
I guess my only real question is,why the fuck are you asking the same site you just whined to about their shirts to tell you how to protect your little bundle of retardism??

Renee'  12/22/07 3:54 pm
Your shirts that knock others people religions shoud be banned alhough i am a fan of some of youer shirts when i run across shirts that knock jesus or go against every thing the bible /christian religion stands for i get extremely offended so could u either ba nthe shirts or make a seperate catergory on your website for these shirts called "if u wanna go to hell read this and agree"

J. DøøM  12/24/07 2:38 am
The true root of the problem here (other than the fact that this douche was born without a fully functional brain stem) is that they're under the misguided delusion that "people have a right not to see that"... No, they really don''t. The sooner that everyone realizes that they DO NOT have the inalienable right to go through life without ever having to be offended by anything, the better everything will be. A truly "good parent" would know not to teach their children such fascist views and just get a fucking life... Or, just wait & let them learn about patricide on their own. Trust me, it's only a matter of time...

bugsike  12/29/07 12:17 am
So - why is "intercourse" OK and "fuck" is not. What about "Shit" vs "feces" or "excrement"? "Cunt" vs "vagina" I have a very serious interst in etymolgy, and would like to know why a different word for the same concept can be obscene while a synanymous word is acceptable.


divided we fall

Fade to African American

You can't teach an old dog new tricks. But I don't care as long as he remembers the peanut butter thing.

Peace

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