From: Deanna
Between the latest shirt about our lord and Savor Jesus Christ and shirts attacking the Pope and Foxnews it is clear that you have decided to make a conscience effort to attack conservatives as a whole. If this attack on the right continues you will lose me as a fan forever.
Deanna out of Florida
I thought we had been attacking people who defend pedophilia and a network of fear mongers who cash in on an audience whose ignorance they help maintain, but it turns out we were attacking the conveniently malleable idea of conservatism.
Anyway, I don't know if this "attack" on the "right" will continue because we just do what we want when we want (Wow, I'm badass!), so let me know what else I can do to lose you as a fan forever. Based on your name and email I think I can safely assume several things about you. So what do I insult to cross the line with you? Your abusive husband? Your children's obesity? Your obesity? Dale Earnhardt's corpse? Your pit bull covered in cigarette burns that ate your unwanted baby?
Fuck it, I'll stick with what got me here. Jesus was nothing more than an ancient version of Ronald McDonald; a mere cartoon created by a bunch of assholes to sell a shitty product. Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and the rest of the pandering dicks you worship are laughing at you as they snort coke off the boners of their illegal gardeners. Oh, and Reagan was a cunt.
From: Justin
you know, I love your site and find most of your shirts (and your hatemail responses) funny as hell (and yeah, as a Christian, I find Hell funny, or at least worth a good laugh.) But I don't find one of your latest additions funny.
The shirt "No it's cool, Jesus died for my sins" is not funny, I like it anyway, and I'm going to try to get my pastor to buy one. Or maybe I'll just get him one. Anyway, thanks for being here. Keep up the good work (and the bad).
Okay, the response to "most of your shirts are okay, but __ is offensive" has become as tiresome as the emails themselves, so I'm going to let that dead horse rot in peace. Instead, I'd like to address Justin and any other Christians who, if only on a subconscious level, know they're participating in bullshit.
Dear pussies clinging to nonsense because you don't yet realize that feeling of self-righteousness isn't worth it,
Jump ship now. Yeah, you could drag this out a couple years, needlessly dragging yourself out of bed on Sunday and begrudgingly forcing yourself to avoid things you know you would enjoy, but eventually you will realize what a waste of time and energy it is. And when that happens, you'll look back on this moment and wish you'd listened, instead of throwing away what should have been some of the best times of your life.
Mind you, I say this only to the Christians out there who are going through the motions, of which there are millions. There will always be a handful of "Your monthly cycle is sacrilege!" types who exist only to piss on anything that causes happiness, but for you "on the fence" types who mumble the hymns and make jokes in your head during the sermon, use this moment to reclaim the life that was stolen from you by an organization that was already antiquated 400 years ago. Amen(ge).
Comments (12) - View Comments - Add A Comment
Oh ya and I love these two new designs!! There just like the $3 over sized ghetto shirts they sell at the liquor store on the corner. You know, in case you're on your way to the swap meet and need a shirt thats the same color as your shoes! I cant wait to get one and make fun of those fucking ghetto ass idiots!!!! LOL, ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Oh, wait, it beats church then, too.
@Wade: I didn't say I don't approve of the shirt, I did buy it after all. I just missed the humor in it. Fuck you.
@Iman Azol: I find all my "girlfriends" at church. 17 is just too old for me though. But you go right on believing that those 17 year old girls have virgin assholes if it helps you sleep at night.
@Hilary: Have you ever bought a shirt from the site? The order form has a place for comments, so I wrote mine. None of my previous comments have ever gotten attention, so I had no reason to think this one would. I actually contribute to this site and society as a whole, so fuck you and the thousand dildoes you rode in on.
From: GoFuck Yourself
I would like to kick you repeatedlyin the taint while suffocating you with one of your own t-shirts.
P.S.
You're a felching cuckold retard
Felching? Occasionally. Cuckold? Not since the divorce/sex change. Retard? That's where things get tricky. I do poop on escalators and bite strangers, but I'm fairly certain I'm not officially a retard. At least I hope not. I hate to think I'll have to start shoving my own face into pudding.
In response to your request, get in line. Literally. If you send in your application immediately I might be able to squeeze you in next Tuesday. Just don't expect much of a reaction. At this point I'm so desensitized down there you might as well be throwing cotton balls at it. Really, these days it's more for you people than it is for me.
Comments (20) - View Comments - Add A Comment
'these days it's more for you people than it is for me."
This is way we love your bits! Gold!
@Arc Cahlon...... I am now dumber for having read your comment!!!!
@Bullgod666
Please get someone to read the definition to you from your beloved urban dictionary. You are obviously not smart enough to comprehend it yourself. The part about the straw is " if " the semen is deep enough. No one could ever felch you because your head is so far up your own ass that their tongue wouldn't fit.
felching 488 up, 121 down
buy felching mugs, tshirts and magnets
To suck freshly ejaculated semen from any orifice, usually the anus.
From the Chuck Palahniuk book: "Invisible Monsters"
'"Felching," I lower my voice. I'm calm now. "Felching is when a man fucks you up the butt without a rubber. He shoots his load, and then plants his mouth on your anus and sucks out his own warm sperm, plus whatever lubrication and feces are present. That's felching. It may or may not," I add, "include kissing you to pass the sperm and fecal matter into your mouth."'
And as for your clueless comment about " shrimping ". Again please have someone explain to you the definition below.
2. shrimping 393 up, 270 down
to suck on someones toes for sexual gratification.
Not only are you a dumb, ignorant fuck, but you are a dumb, ignorant fuck who thinks that he knows everything and merely proves to all that he is a retard.
You are an absolute fucktard who has no clue.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shrimping
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=felching
Tell us again how right you are, you fucking ignorant, inbred cock!
Btw Wade you are a fucking knob jockey
From: Fliss
Your delightfully scummy little baby tee shirts make me sick - i can't believe such degrading rubbish is supposed to be comedy - ha de ha. The I tore mommy a new one with the stitch motif - to me this borders on mysogyny, and makes a mockery of the many ladies who have been traumatised or mutilated by child birth - but i forget, its comedy! ha!
You're... fat? Uh... you can choke on... a dildo? Ugh, I don't have another one of these responses in me at the moment. Let me hand it over to the Response-o-tron 3000.
"Beep ... boop. Fliss can provide suction to Response-o-tron's exhaust tube. Boop ... beep. Fliss's female parental unit carries excess weight and makes coitus with numerous humanoid males for small amounts of currency. Blorp ... blip. Response-o-tron urges Fliss to ingest equine ejaculate and drown in fecal material excreted by a man who is without domicile. End communication."
Well done, Response-o-tron. Much better than the previous model. Man, that thing really hated Koreans.
Comments (19) - View Comments - Add A Comment
Are you fucking kidding me?!
Last I checked, a C-Section was a CHOICE. No matter how bad the birth's going, it's your CHOICE to get a C-Section. It was also a CHOICE to have the kid in the first place, and don't give me that "it was an accident" crap because there are always options. That's right, it's nobody's fault but your own, AND I'm using CAPS. Fucking deal with it. Stop being another goddamn parental figure who points the blame at something else when it's their own damn fault.
If you can't take a joke like the "I tore mommy a new one" (which by the way I'm willing to bet mothers buy for their kids), you're probably going to die cold and alone as that wrinkly old bitch that nobody likes.
Do us all a favor "Fliss" (which I assume means something like "Flaming Piss"): discover accountability and a sense of humor. Take responsibility for your own actions and laugh at screwed up shit. If you can't, then get some lube and some knee-pads, because the real world's going to tell your ass where the cream filling is.
"i can't believe such degrading rubbish is supposed to be comedy - ha de ha" I know right? isnt freedom of speech great and as you said its comedy.
*reads rest* yep thats right its comedy. thank you so much for being so understanding and not just another whining bitch. maybe some day you'll have a child but seeing as no ones that desperate to get laid you'll sadly die a virgin so you yourself wont have a reason to own this shirt.
Please get someone to read the definition to you from your beloved urban dictionary. You are obviously not smart enough to comprehend it yourself. The part about the straw is " if " the semen is deep enough. No one could ever felch you because your head is so far up your own ass that their tongue wouldn't fit.
felching 488 up, 121 down
buy felching mugs, tshirts and magnets
To suck freshly ejaculated semen from any orifice, usually the anus.
From the Chuck Palahniuk book: "Invisible Monsters"
'"Felching," I lower my voice. I'm calm now. "Felching is when a man fucks you up the butt without a rubber. He shoots his load, and then plants his mouth on your anus and sucks out his own warm sperm, plus whatever lubrication and feces are present. That's felching. It may or may not," I add, "include kissing you to pass the sperm and fecal matter into your mouth."'
And as for your clueless comment about " shrimping ". Again please have someone explain to you the definition below.
2. shrimping 393 up, 270 down
buy shrimping mugs, tshirts and magnets
to suck on someones toes for sexual gratification.
And to Fliss, I am a woman and think many of the Baby Hell shirts are hilarious and would put my kid (when I have one) in them.
Stay creative T-shirt Hell!
Besides, we can do that ourselves.
If I want to wear a t shirt that says "abortions tickle" to a pro choice rally I should be able too!! I don't fucking care if it offends you and the fact that it does doesn't mean you should be able to keep me from wearing it.
Here�s an idea�why not make awesome and/or hilarious shirts making fun of Allah and the prophet Muhammad. How many lives have been taken in the name of Allah???
And you guys don�t poke fun at them???? Why???
I�ve got some great ideas if you need some? I�m just surprised that you would limit yourself to the Catholic Church???
I am not afraid of those fucking cave men! I don't care if making shirts about Allah will get Arizona nuked!
Babosa was that too insensitive for you?
@billbudd and you other retards: the shirts are meant to be reminiscent of the shirts/collars worn by priests/ministers. Apparently, the joke is too intellectual for you morons.
Yo Justin
Apparently you were looking far too hard for the joke. The white bit on the shirt is merely the tag. Please don't try and read between the lines too much. You can barely read what is right in front of your nose you arrogant asswipe.
Iman Azol: At least msnbc actually delivers the news, unlike your Fox "acting"
How about a shirt that has limbaugh fucking jesus on a carpet made from al gore's skin? Or, jesus getting fist fucked my muhammed, while he licks ann coulture's pussy?
Take your hate speech someplace else, Wade.