Collection: SELF-DEPRECATING

Morbidly American

Masculine As Fuck

It's Never Too Late To Be A Disappointment

I'm Working On A Profound Statement.

I'm One Bad Date From Becoming A Cat Lady

I'm Like The Michael Jordan Of Standing In This Spot

I'm A Man Of Few

I'll Eat It

I Went To Vegas And All I Got Was This Lousy I (Heart) Ny Shirt Because I'm With Stupid

I Kiss My Hot Friends For Cash

I Don't Like White People Either

I Can't Believe I Slept With Three People Or More To Get This Job

I Can Run An 11 Minute Mile

Here's A Table Jesus Made Before That Whole Savior

Had I Known I Would Have Worn Something Nicer.

God's Biggest Fuck Up

Dresses Like Shit

Do These Boobs Make My Brain Look Small?

Content Parents Of An Average Student

We're Just Friends

I'm Already Drunk. Let Me Know How Things Turn Out

I Take The The Out Of Psychotherapist

I Was With Stupid

Don't Bother Me - I'm Wasting Potential

America's Next Top Coke Whore

American Mail-Order Bride

Check Out This Asshole

I Hope There Is An Afterlife So I Can Waste That Too

Blondes Have More Fun And More STDs

Please Turn Me Over So I Don't Choke On My Own Vomit - Thank You

Who Needs Big Tits When You Have An Ass Like This?

I Wasn't Invited But I'm Sure It Was An Oversight

I'm Here For The Wrong Reasons

It's Been A Pleasure To Not Talk To You

My Persistence Hasn't Paid Off

World Champion Liar - Or Am I?