From: rick
I notice you guys will print practically anything regardless of good taste, but you won't go near Sarah Palin.. what are you afraid of there? You'll insult the President of the United States, but you're afraid of half-term Palin? I'm having my dog neutered next week, I'll send you his balls so you'll have a set of your own! LOL
In case any of you missed it, that was hilarious because it prompted the writer to use an exclamation mark AND the LOL. I know that always helps me avoid embarrassing situations when I email Maya Angelou my weekly message of "Hey you black piece of shit: choke on my grandpa's sagging balls and rot in hell."
As to why we haven't yet made a Palin shirt, we're scared of her shooting us from her helicopter. LOL!!! Goddamn it. Now I have to rape my own anus with a garden tiller. Seriously though, I think we missed our window with Palin. That shit was funny the two weeks after McCain announced the ticket, but it got depressing real fast. On top of that, she does a masterful job of making fun of herself. A claim any politician can make, but she is to other politicians what Da Vinci is to every guy who has ever painted a now jizz-covered bowl of fruit hanging in a Motel 6.
Still, it does seem there is a need to ridicule such an iconic figure (a.k.a. cartoonish embodiment of mental deficiency). However, making fun of Palin herself seems a tad on the nose, but you'll know when we make a shirt mocking Palin because it will say something along the lines of 'Conservatives are fucking morons who would gladly vote for a masturbating raccoon if it supported a border fence.'
GSBAHOL (Get sodomized by a horse out loud)
From: Customer
Your comeback E-Mails are pretty lame. You try too hard to be funny and all you do is swear at people. That takes a lot of talent (sarcasm). Stick with selling the shirts because obviously, there isn't a journalism career in your future.
No journalism career in my future? All these years of calling people "sperm-digesting scrote junkies" has been for nothing? No! And I so wanted to be a part of that vaunted fourth estate that includes a corpse complaining about movie theater food at the end of 60 Minutes and whatever set of perky tits just blew her way onto FOX News.
Anyway, I'm glad you mentioned my use of cursing as a crutch. Believe it or not, I read some of the comments you assholes/stupid assholes leave on this page. It seems when I attempt to include a modicum of intelligence in these replies a slew of you say "just call people faggots like the old writer (me) used to," and when I just call people faggots, well, I get what you see above. I'll let you guys call each other "whining pussies" and "boorish libertines" until you decide which you want, but in the mean time, here is my witty and urbane response to this email.
As was imparted to Aristotle while under the tutelage of the renowned philosopher Plato at his eponymous academy: Go fuck cock a bitch cunt, you niggery faggot. Oh, and twat shit.
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Note to the editor:
While you're reading my stupid asshole comment remind yourself to get an identity. Why change your entire writing style to accommodate your imbecile readers if they're so beneath you?
Crawl out of your ass and take a breath of fresh air.
From: Marianne
I am a proud PETa member and I find a number of your shirts abhorrent. Depicting acts of violence against monkeys, seals, rabbits, horses and any number of other animals is just childish and hurtful. I suggest you visit PETA's website to see the ugly truth about how animals of all kinds are mistreated in this so called civilised country.
If you want to attack someone, at least have the courage to attack someone capable of defending themselves. Grow up already.
Hey, that's great. Please enjoy the following recipe.
Editor's 3-Meat Chili
Step 1: Mix a 1/2 lb of cubed beef, a 1/2 lb of cubed lamb and a 1/2 lb of cubed pork. Step 2: Feed it to a cow and a lamb. Step 3: Find out where PETA's president, Ingrid Newkirk, lives, cut off a bottlenose dolphin's head and throw it in her shower. Step 4: Set up an octagon in your basement where you pump koalas, pandas and various monkeys full of PCP and make them fight to the death. Loser gets thrown in an incinerator, winner gets thrown in a different incinerator.
If you want, you can also put a bunch of guinea pigs in a bathtub and fill it with gas. It won't really help the recipe, but it won't hurt.
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Maybe if you looked up from your own self important twat twaddling and did some real research you would realize what a screw loose nutcase Miss Ingrid Newkirk actually is, stop giving money to PETA and give it to an organization that actually helps animals instead of claiming they do while they freeze the puppy corpses till they can be dumped in a Micky D's dumpster in a few nights, unless of course the have a fund raising dinner or need to horror up a dog farm with a few rotting corpses or something.
Do you actually READ what the fuck those PETA assholes want? or maybe you can't read I mean I know school must have been hard for you what with sucking cock to pay for drugs and all but you should still be able to get someone to read it to you instead of just looking at all the pretty pictures on the PETA website. They want "total animal liberation" that means they want no pets, farm animals, meat, seeing eye dogs, rescue dogs, and animal research. Which is what keeps Ingrid Newkirks second in command alive by the way, she needs horse insulin to live but its Ok she says "I need my life to fight for the rights of animals." yes and Hitler needed those Jews to test out his weapons on so his men could fight to "protect" the rest. Fucking douche bag bitch. In short what they want is no animals killed, for any reason ever, animals should be free to go any place, so anything, shit anywhere and generally fuck up everything we have built in the history of human civilization, because they can't defend themselves. Yeah well neither could the 90lb guys your boyfriend used to sodomize in high school when you were out playing "daddy please don't touch me there".
Ingrid Newkirk and her pack of PETA assholes, of which I include you Marianne, are nothing but a pack of horse fucking power trippers, most of who don't even have the IQ to actually find out who and what they are fighting for. So Marianne please for the love of go take the cock out of your mouth and do some fucking research next time before you decide to mouth the fuck off about shit.
Oh and the t-shirts that you bitched about do more to protect animals with their humor and examples of how not to treat an animal than Ingrid Newkirk and her pack of puppy killing pals will ever do, so fuck off about it. Oh and FYI I have two dogs, Moose and Max, a Bearded dragon, a fish tank with a Japanese fighting fish and I grew up on a farm with everything from cattle to goats to buffalo and horses. So I know more about animals than you ever will.
EAT ME! and have a nice day,
So says Master Fluffy
It's like swearing at someone in a language they don't understand, case and point: Marianne is a zona tipsha.
Put that in your rhino horn pipe and smoke it.
Keep those recipe's coming, its almost the 4th time to BBQ.
I guess it really is People for the Eating of Tasty Animals.
On another note beef is my favorite meat, it is like you can taste the soul.
You have to be ass backwards stupid to believe anything PETA champions for!!! First of all, humans are mammals, its been proven by science. Second of all we as mammals are Omnivorous, that means we need to eat plants and animal to be strong and healthy. Also proven by science! Third we are at the top of the food chain, that means we can eat any fucking animal we want!! To deny all this is delusional! So the next time you go to a dentist ask him what types of different teeth you have and what they are for. Mother nature and evolution have way more to do with our diet then your ignorant sensibilities!
ASPCA should be removing kids from vegetarian homes!! They look just as emancipated as those starving horses and dogs!
check this out: http://www.onlineschools.org/blog/peta/
why don't you find more about the organization you join before you hate on others?
Not if you cut its legs off first.
She wasn't too happy when I pointed out that Ducks reproduce almost exclusively through gang rape.
BTW, who's gonna come to the defense of plants? They're alive too, aren't they?
If we can't have either then what do we eat?
Dips on nails. Hair, anyone?
Death seems to be on your mind as well as torture yet you dont seem to have the balls to actually pull the trigger on yourself. Which would actually do some good in the world since there will be one less bastard in the world.
Death and torture seem to always be on your mind yet you still seem to be alive and probably guessing that its because your too much of a little bitch to actually kill yourself.
When I have the A/C on, I leave my windows open.
So, in other words, nothing is going to change.
Not because I care about the environment, I just hate the homeless.
From: charlie
Just thought you should know that your t-shirts suck. tasteless and classless. But I guess your catering toward more trashy customers.
Thought you should know.
This is why they call Charlie "the Bombshell Dropper." All these years I foolishly believed shirts featuring cartoon characters getting their brains blown out and phrases about snorting coke off hooker's asses were aimed at Harvard professors and hedge fund managers. It's too late to undo what you've done here, but please don't tell McDonald's their clientele is made up of of fat, poor people. I don't think Ronald McDonald could handle that kind of disillusionment.
Now that you mention it, perhaps there's something to this idea of T-shirts for the elite. We charge a premium price (nothing too exorbitant, just $300-350 per shirt) for what is essentially the same product, but it's adorned with the T-Shirt Hell Premium logo: a literal horse's ass saying "I suffer through a high stress job 60 hours a week so I can pay 20 times what any logical person would pay for something. I'm not happy, but at least occasionally I get to make a poor person feel bad, even though most of them see me and quietly mumble 'Douche' before going about their business."
I can't believe no one has thought of this before. Cha-ching!
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Thought you'd like to know.
I think the comments and even more the Replies are FUKING HILARIOUS! LOVE IT! Keep it up! I enjoy the hate mail almost more than the shirts! LOFLCIEFWYH!!!! (laugh out fukin loud cuz its even funnier when yur high)!!
and if i could avoid being shot at by a bunch of terroristic attention whores.. id love to set up a hotdog stand next to every PETA anti meat protest
This is something Lady gaga and Venus Williams both resolutely deny.
Well, I licked her balls.
Given the "taste" of mainstream, I rather burn my buds. Classless? Have you not seen the fucking classy shirt specifically directed at your bitching? As far as I know you can ditch the white collar shirts and replace them w/ TSH ones for a more elitist look. Nothing says I'm educated like purples.
Oh ya, and is that the worst you can do?! I know comparing any one to Carrot Top is an insult, but even muhammed isn't that cool. Its almost a compliment.
All the bird shit on it from being in the barn adds even more authenticity, they smell like real niggers.