From: baker11*** @ ***.com
Dudes, I don't see anything good coming from that Muhamad shirt. I know your under pressure to provide fucked up shirts, but literally NOONE is going to buy that shirt because a joke isn't worth your life. So I know you didn't do it for sales. The only possible reason for making it is that you have a deathwish. Been nice knowin ya.
Of course nothing good will come from that shirt; in that aspect it is like Muhammad himself. But unlike Muhammad, that shirt is NOT a pedophile. Another difference: that shirt isn't worshipped by a billion assholes who blame their anger on people who had the good sense to join a society where cleavage and stuffed crust pizza abound.
Besides, you're wrong about no one buying that shirt. We have sold at least two that I know of. I can't give you their names, but one was a hipster Muslim who wanted to blow up ironically, and the other was "O. bin Laden c/o Goat-wife #47."
You're wrong about another thing too. Not only is a joke worth your life, but your life actually is a joke. The set-up was your birth, and the punchline is the next 80 years. Be ready for that rimshot, Death.
Anyway, you were right about one thing. I do have a death wish. It's just inverted outward.
From: Faiyaz A.
Our prophet Mohammed not to be mocked in such a way as this!!! > Our prophet Mohammed is for all people and not just Muslim so even Christain and Jewish should be respecting of Mohammed!!! > Take this shirt off from your computer or like many others you will know this is no joke!!!!!
Are you sure this is no joke? I would think anything that makes me laugh this hard has to be a joke. You have inadvertently cut to the core of the existential nature of comedy. Sort of like humor's version of "I think therefore I am" or "If a tree falls in the woods, why does your mom take so many cocks in the ass?" I laughed at your email, therefore it's a joke. Like people in nursing homes or that WWII footage of a bulldozer filling a ditch with bodies.
Forget all that. Thanks for your email, Faiyaz (Whoa, a brown version of Beetlejuice just showed up in my living room). It was nice to hear from the douche above, but I couldn't fully understand how a mentally Muslimed person would take this until getting it right from the source. And I gotta tell ya, this was some delicious idiocy. No cutting or distillation here; just 100% dumbfuck straight from the tap... mmmm. And now, a word from Allah:
"Hey, dicks who worship me: give it a rest. It took Christians 20 centuries too long, but at least they eventually evolved from 'violent assholes' to 'hypocritical douchebags.' So what's the holdup? Do you think rubble and brown water are blessings? I've got news for you: I made your lives as shitty as possible so you'd bail on this nonsense and move on to greener pastures already. Which would be any other pastures on the planet.
Yeah, so I gave you oil. It made ten of you rich and the rest of you get your plywood shacks blown up every other week. What do I have to do, put a plague on your beard or take away your... shit, you don't even have anything I can take away! Just fuck off!"
Can you believe I got Allah to open up like that? It's almost as if I pulled that out of my ass and tried to pass it off as the words of your deity. But there's no way I did that, because that's impossible. And no one has done it. Ever.
Comments (23) - View Comments - Add A Comment
Leave Muhammad alone! Leave him alone!!! Whaa whaaa
P.S:Apologise to T-shirt Hell for my tone,but I had enough with them (too).
*justice is GODS job. my job is to arrange the meeting.
Ps.
Fuck the all mighty prophet Mohammed
From: Wendie K.
Many negative words come to mind when glancing at your website, but I think the one that best sums it up is misogyny. There's a fair amount of racism, glorification of violence and picking on the weak, but time and time again it is shown that the general tone here is one of hating or subjugating women. It is quite disgusting and has no place in the year 2000, let alone 2010.
And another thing about Muslims... oh forget it. What's this bitch flapping her vagina about? Something about bitches having feelings? I honestly don't know. My eyes can observe a block of text like this, but when the information is relayed to my brain the pixels are somehow rearranged to read "I'm an unloved, humorless cunt and I complain about T-shirts because I can spend only so much time cry-sturbating and staring at labels in Whole Foods."
It is one of life's great ironies that people who defend a particular group most ardently are the cause of most of the ire directed at that group. Just as Al Sharpton makes the most tolerant among us pissed at black people, and just as men waving Confederate flags while screaming about Jesus make us hate closeted gays, so do women like Wendie make the rest of us dislike women.
As much as you'd like to think so, you're not Susan B. fucking Anthony. We got the vote 90 years ago. Now all you are is a stupid little girl complaining about the bad thing on the computer that maded you cry. Bottom line: anyone in a civilized country bitching about their rights in the year 2010 is doing more to damage their cause than to advance it.
Whether your gripe is about race, religion, gender or what the fuck ever, all you're really doing is telling us you have too much time on your hands. So instead of wasting the precious gift of life whining about what is a simple joke and NOT an actual piece of legislation, try finding a more constructive way to spend your time. I suggest a murder-suicide involving you and Gloria Allred. Viva la snatch!
Comments (32) - View Comments - Add A Comment
for this, i love you.
Incidentally, women got the vote those 90 years ago because legislators across the country, all men, were told by their wives that they would get none 'til their broads got enfranchised. You won't find that in the HS history book, but it's true. We men were woosies... see, back then there was no such thing as rape within a marriage. She was presumed to want it.
I love Hooters, btw. The babe in the middle I think is my gf, Breanne Ashley. Want her number? I was 54th in line to tame that quim and call her my beyotch, so you'll have to wait...
And Fuck Mohommed/Allah, Jesus=Paul/God, Joe Smith, L. Ron Hubbard/Xenu and all the other frauds and fictions
"I has a vagina, so obviously, anything and everything you say is SO offensive and towards me, and I have to complain and whine about it, just further proving your point that I should be made fun of in the first place" stfu and make me a sandwhich. If I had a dick, I'd tell you to give me a blow job.
Oh and why the hell are you even on a site like this if you don't like jokes about racism, violence, sexism and religion? How did you find this site were you just searching for shit to bitch about while you waited for your cuckold of a husband to get home so you could make him watch his friends fuck you in your ass. What am I saying of course you aren't married a uni-brow butch bull dyke like you wouldn't be married unless you could be the one to fist your husbands ass.
Shut the fuck up about the funny shit and piss off you dumb cunt and I use the word cunt out of politeness because most women I know find the word pussy more offensive, see I'm fucking considerate.
From: Collin
u wouldnt have such a cavalier attitude about drugs if u saw some of the things i have... i've attended a support group or 2 in my time and believe me when i say that drugs, whether its cocaines marijuana or just plain old alcohal, wrecks more than just the life of the user...
substance abuse is serious business and these vices shouldn't be celebrated or made light of... people need to know there is no good side to addiction
No good side to addiction, huh? I'll have you know if it weren't for addiction I never would've been able to read your email. If I was sober right now there would be a goddamn pickax in my monitor. And, yes, I keep a pickax next to my computer.
Furthermore, if you really... Wait... What is it when... Oh man, the air tastes exactly like a kiwi. You know what we need to do about the oil in the Gulf? We should, like, freeze the water so the oil can't get into it. That way-- Nobody really gets the Family Circus, y'know? I mean reeeeeally gets it.
But you know what I mean. Like, whenever y- THE FRENCH HORN! Man, unemployment. It's so easy to fix. Everyone wants a job, right? And if you already have a job, what do you want? Dancers! So all these people without jobs can just dance for all these people with jobs. But the government doesn't want you dancing. We need to- No, wait. Wait wait. Wait. Wait... Wait... Wait... Huuuhhh...
Something is seriously wrong, man. Could you call my stepmom? Just... it's the whole universe. I can just tell- GET AWAY FROM THE FUCKING WINDOW! You're a real friend, and I need you to know that. NO! DON'T DO THAT! Don't play this shit off like a joke! You're my fucking friend and that matters to me! Eggs? I'm gonna get some eggs. Fuck! Has this door always been glass?
Comments (31) - View Comments - Add A Comment
Uncle Al 666, where do you get this shit?!? "Narcotic" is a word used to donate any psycho-active drug that may cause drowsiness or numbness. Hens "Narc" as in narcoleptic not as in "that narc is going to bust you ass".
The common use today is pertaining to any illicit or illegal drug such as Marijuana and Ca Ca Ca Ca COCAINE!!!!
Keep up the great work of hating on humanity. I know i appreciate it.
Keep up the great work. I love it. Nothing, and nobody is off limits for you. TowelHeads, WetBacks, gays, blacks, bitches, nobodys safe. These assholes that come in here and give you a bunch of shit for speaking your mind. Just tell them to "FUCK OFF". I didn't see you forcing them with a gun to come in and check out Tshirthell. But yet they come in, look around, then leave their opinion, like it really matters. Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one. If you don't like the place, just hit the little "X" in the top right corner of your little IE browser and leave.
And if you had a brick and mortar store, I would work for you one day for nothing wearing that Muhammad tshirt. Hell if you had one for wetbacks, I might make it a 2nd day.
in all seriousness though collin, go fuck your self
Ahhh.... those were the days.... sigh....
And fuck the pig fucker.
@Wade you know you are a Muslim loving cunt. Stop w/ this "not" Islam bullshit and go back to fondling your son; it's been a while.
PS: It's no one, not noone. It doesn't make it correct simply because you capitalize it.
I wish the rest of the world would, its not that I think we should be disrespectful to others religions, just that I know its our right to say whatever we want about whoever we want. If we pussy out to this one we may as well be France.
Now go grab your guns and lets spread a little Democracy!
God Bless America!
But you obviously think you're a genius, so you go on being smart and all.
I think we all expect to see a LARGE OBIT in the NYT in the coming week. If so, then RIP, Good Sir.
You have done an IMMENSE justice for the peoples' right to Freedom of Speech (and Parody), and your superb works have been imprinted upon the record of social progress in the USA and the entire world, INDELIBLY!
You will be sorely missed, and may your memory live on, fondly.
Sincerely,
AriEliyah
(aka- the Bald Chick in the HC Whores section.)
I LIVE IN NORTHERN ISRAEL, in a city RIGHT near the border of Syria, Lebanon, and Jordan, where many Arabs attend our local college (because theirs all suck, of course),
AND I'M TOTALLY GONNA BUY THAT DAMN SHIRT, AND WEAR IT, TOO!!
(So, Suck It, Bitches. I refuse to live in fear, either!)